[3] 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 ― p.jackson, l.valdez

007.

「007. bob the builder can indeed fix it 」

THIS WAS not the time. kelli the vampire would have to reschedule another time because barbie was not ready or willing to be facing this wicked bitch anytime soon. sure, they were in tartarus- constant danger- the whole death thing. she wanted out. she did not want some wicked evil donkey legged cheerleaders trying to kill them. but alas, that's not something usually happens. demigods tend not to get what they want- and in this case, it was painfully evident. and to make her bundle of annoyances even worse, barbie recalled just how dangerous it had been for them when they'd fought kelli before. she'd dodged every strike percy had sent, and if barbie hadn't of stabbed her, she'd have killed percy on the spot.

"and your friends are with you!" kellie laughed.

"girlfriend here," snapped barbie, finding herself saying it automatically.

"oh girlfriend?" kelli hissed, "oh the happy couple! no worries guys, i totally remember the both of you. 'specially you, barbie." she touched her own sternum, where barbie had stabbed her in the back with her mist, "what's the matter, dolly? got no mist this time? bummer, sure i could've found a way to kill you with it."

this was not a good thing. neither percy, annabeth or barbie were really fit for battle. sure, they'd stood shoulder to shoulder plenty of times before- but they weren't really too okay on armour and weapons right now. annabeth was empty handed, barbie was powerless (charmspeak was virtually useless in the powerhub of monsters, especially to empousa who's main power was literally a form of charmspeak) and only had a sword she had hardly used along with percy's riptide. even then, they were all out of breath, weak and covered in blisters. two swords would do nothing against the amount of donkey legged vampires around them.

to say they were outnumbered was a bit of an understatement. with nowhere to run, no help coming and absolutely nothing but two swords- they were pretty much screwed.

they couldn't attack, that would literally be them leading themselves to their untimely doom. no- that wouldn't work. and it would be dumb. they couldn't use percy's tactic of: improvise, adapt and overcome because hades, the result would end in death. they could hardly use barbie's favourite tactics: blow shit up, critic the enemies fashion sense, stab and generally just be a bitch. which left only annabeth's favourite tactics: trickery, talk and delay.

"so..." began percy, "how're things?"

she elbowed him, before adding, "you're probably wondering what we're doing in tartarus, right? hey- wanna know how me and percy got together? see, now- percy's an idiot. and then basically he was completely-"

"not really bothered for the story," kellie spoke, "if i wanted to read or hear a romance i'd just watch a film or read a book. no- i'm not interested in either things, really. not really. no, i just want to kill you. so... if you can all just- stand back. maybe smile- gods i hate when people don't smile when i bless them with the honour of being killed by me. and just... like, die!"

that would've been it- barbie and percy weren't the best at the talk part (unless it was sarcastic remarks. they were awesome at those), but then annabeth chimed in. "too bad," she said, "because you have no idea what's going on in the mortal world."

the other empousai circled, watching kelli for a cue to attack, but the ex-cheerleader only snarled, crouching out of reach of percy's sword.

"we know enough," kelli said. "gaea has spoken."