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aloof; əˈluːf/ [adv]

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It has always been an habit of mine to ask you:

'What are you thinking?'

It seemed to sound unfriendly and distant for someone like me; your boyfriend but surprisingly it didn't.

I asked it all the time; when you're cooking with your back against me moving fast to throw in chopped veggies and diced meat so I won't be late to catch my next flight back to Dortmund.

When you're deep into your book every night while I'm busy brushing my teeth, both of us stayed in silence but I know you always glanced at me; the corner of your lips curled into a small smile that you held in as you sunk deeper to hide your blush behind the book. But I got to kiss the reddening ripe cheeks later when I ripped the book of your grips.

When you're kneeling over our mini garden built on the balcony because you've gotten bored the fact that I live in Dortmund and you live here Kołobrzeg. You grew batches of Million bells and Vinca flowers with Thunbergia vining around our grille. A couple of small potted cactuses sat on the studies and I love the herbaceous smell of oregano, rosemary, thyme and chives that you grew by the kitchen window. They are like our babies. I know you get disappointed when winter came but I love to start a new batch of flowers after that with you.

When you and I in desperate to sleep in each other arms but end up sleeping with our back facing because it seemed like we are used to sleep alone. It looked like we are fighting but no. It's just a habit that we will sleep against each other's back and wake up the next morning, your body are half on top of me and I can feel your warm breath against my chest. You've turned me on in the weirdest way, Margo Błaszczykowska.

When you and I argue over the amount of break I have and the time you spent being in the street either for your class or working in that bakery, staining and roughing your soft hand. You hated the fact me and Kuba have short amount of break and it had forced you to fly for almost 2 hours because we both had agreed that we don't trust you driving 7 hours here. You had to skip classes and your time at the bakery. I hated the fact you had spent time taking late classes because you said you were bored and when we had argument about it, you agreed to stop but secretly had taken the baker job.

Go, you're the most stubborn person I've ever known other than my mama but I love you.

When I brought you a small kitten, you went and named it Julian Draxler. Julian Draxler the maine coon cat because you happened to adore that Schalker and it happened to have blue eyes. I got jealous but I ended up loving the kitten even more than you love him.

When you got that high fever from endless night of study and I have to fly from Dortmund to home and checked on you; I caressed your head and asked and you clamped your mouth together staring me silence. I thought you were mad but you kissed me and I slept in your arms, I'm not sure if you know but I cried in your arms.

When we won 2012 Supercup and I kissed you (not as grand as Iker and Sara but the cameraman sure like it). You stood proud, tears streaked on your face. Never ever I've seen a woman who look pretty in a jersey worn backward, but you nailed it. The yellow and black scarf around your neck blew softly by the wind as I kneeled down; in front of the fans, in front of the team, in front of Bayern, in front of Kuba and asked for your hand. You said your heart was pumping fast. A worker came and brought the microphone to my mouth.

You (ridiculously) said yup.

When you couldn't sleep because all you could hear is Kuba screaming for you to hide in the closet. You cried in my chest and if we are 350 miles apart, I know who's call I'll be answering at 2:45 am.

It was always an act of desperation, and I keep on asking even thought I know you won't answer it the way I want. That different answers you answered that I get were (surprisingly) the reasons we are still together.

I appreciated that. Dziękuję.