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t

text; /tɛkst/ [n.]

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Remember when you tracked all our embarrassing emails.

I thought I could do the same (well, almost) thing too. There is this company that can track our texts. All of it, for 10 euros. It was kinda worth.

It. Was . The . Best . Idea . Ever

(I've taken the liberty to highlight my texts. Incase you forgot who's the crazy one.)

(I WAS JUST KIDDING.)

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7.43 pm:
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7.44 pm: looK STARS

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10.00 am: i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and im vegetarian wtf

10.00 am: wait im not a vege :/

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6.15 am: if plan b had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now

6.15 am: what plan b?

6.17 am: sHIT I MEANT TO SAY THIS TO SARAH >.<

6. 20 am: im still curious about plan b

6. 22 am: youre not the member of team vaginas so

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8. 00 am: I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?

8.15 am: good morning to you too, margo

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12. 00 pm: ive just wake up and i think i'm high because "why can't i steal the duck" just becomes a serious question.

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12. 00 am: i just want you to know that i just realized you're the only boyfriend i dont feel fat around.

12.00 am: aww thanks :)

12. 03 am: like literally only, i dont have any ex

12. 04 am: im flattered :/

12. 05 am: hehehhehehehheehhehe c:::

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4. 00 pm: i had forgotten what new underwear feels like. it's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.

4. 00 pm: sarah took you to victoria's secret again?

4. 05 pm: it's for your junk too, piszczu

4. 05 pm: i put the bow on my panties because my ass is the present

4.06 pm: stop judging 😤

4. 07 pm: im cutting one sex off when we meet

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5. 45 am: [insert photo]

5. 46 am: I have so many feelings about this burrito

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5. 48 pm: my cardio is walking around the campus looking for free food

5. 59 pm: food tech students are having food fest for the new intakes, wanna bet whether if i pass through them 🌝

[30 minutes later]

6. 29 pm: im pregnant with food sent help asap

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3. 30 am: HELp m e

3. 33 am: WHAT

3. 36 am: is pasta booty piszczek a great baby name ?

3.37 am: test night again isn't it

3. 37 am: :(

3. 40 am: how about Spingent Jinjinjinjinjin Piszczek ???

3. 41 am: blocked.

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4. 05 pm: on his week off, luka brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he will be getting a blowjob. I think he may be too in love with me.

4. 06 pm: im in love with him

4.06 pm: im gonna text him an i love you

4. 10 pm: i love you too

4. 11 pm: shit. i need to stop saving numbers with emojis instead of names

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10. 54 pm: life without a bra equals bliss.

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1. 30 am: how does one acquire holy water?

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3. 04 pm: i think your mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

3. 15 pm: that, i do agree

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3. 06 pm: imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick

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7. 08 pm: i just want you to know when i bang piszczu in the back of my car later i'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat

7. 10 pm: i thought you're more the weeknd kind ?

7. 15 pm: oH FUCK ME im gonNA CHANGE YOUR NAME

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9. 40 am: i'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. how's your 9am?

12. 30 pm: i had training, looks like the party is way better over there.

12. 33 pm: i also fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer

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7. 22 pm: Honestly im too tired to watch videos of you jerking off right now

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9. 55 pm: YO MCGRIDDLES IM WAITING FOR YOU AT THE AIRPORT

10. 00 pm: YO MCTITTIES IM ON MY WAY

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6.00 pm: pregnancy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power

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3. 33 am: i love you

3. 35 am: i love you, margo, although you are fucking crazy

3. 35 am: im flattered :)

3. 36 am: c;