Lexi: If you had to choose between Ruv and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Sarv: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Ruv: Sarv!
Lexi: 63 cents.
Sarv: I'll take the money.
Ruv: SARV!!!
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*Lexi and Ruv sitting in jail together*
Ruv: So who should we call?
Lexi: Id call Sarv, but I feel safer in jail
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Lexi: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
Ruv: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Sarv: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Ruv: Good thinking.
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Lexi, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Ruv: You did WHAT–
Sarv: William Snakespeare
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Lexi: WHY. why did you give Sarv a KNIFE?!
Ruv: Im sorry. She said she felt unsafe.
Lexi: Now I feel unsafe!
Ruv: Im sorry.
Ruv: ...Would you like a knife?
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Lexi: I cant believe you live nearby, and you wont let anyone crash at your place.
Ruv: You people already know too much about me.
Sarv: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you wont let any of us crash at your place.
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Lexi: I really like this whole good guy, bad guy thing you guys have going on.
Ruv: Its not an act, its just that Im mean and Sarv isnt
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Lexi: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Ruv: The car takes a screenshot.
Sarv: For the last time, get the fuck out.
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Lexi: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Ruv: Okay, but in my defense, Sarv bet me 50 cents I couldnt drink all that shampoo.
Lexi: Thats not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
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Lexi: What do you think Ruv will do for a distraction?
Sarv: he'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. Thats what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Sarv: ... or he could do that.
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Lexi: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Ruv: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Sarv: Smad.
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Lexi: Ruv and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Sarv: *Sighing* What did Ruv do?
Lexi: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Ruv: Who wants a steering wheel?
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Lexi: We need to get through this locked door. Sarv, give me your credit card.
Sarv: Here.
Lexi, pocketing it: Thanks. Ruv, kick down the door.
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Lexi: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Ruv?
Ruv: No.
Sarv: I do!
Lexi: I know, Sarv.
Sarv: Im sad!
Lexi: I know, Sarv.
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Lexi: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Ruv: Youre a hazard to society
Sarv: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
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Lexi: Sarv, my old arch enemy.
Ruv: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?
Lexi: I have a life outside of you, Ruv.
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Lexi: Why are you on the floor?
Ruv: I'm depressed.
Ruv: Also I was stabbed, can you get Sarv, please.
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YOU ARE READING
playing with an incorrect quotes generator
Mizahjust read the title. may include OCs, shipping, and humour.
