Shelter [Kurotsuki]

Chapter 1

It's all Kuroo-san's fault really, Tsukishima thinks idly as he pushes some food around his plate. He's sitting at the dinner table with his parents, they're arguing. Their voices raised to an irritatingly high volume. He wishes he was allowed to wear his headphones at the table. He doesn't want to listen to them argue over his fate. He knows that it's partially his fault too. He's a third-year now. Today was the start of his last high school vacation. There really wasn't enough time to sort this all out before school and volleyball would start once again.

Tsukishima really couldn't figure out why he'd suddenly had the urge to tell them the truth. To tell them what he was. He'd known for a while now, probably since his first year. That first training camp with the Fukurodani group, no before that even. The first game with Nekoma. Kuroo has stood on the other side of the net from him with that Cheshire grin and his stupid hair and those eyes. Those golden eyes that had looked at Tsukishima and seen right through all his defenses. Tsukishima had always known that he was a bit different of course. He wasn't interested in girls the way other boys in his grade were. He'd listened to Yamaguchi talk about his crushes and he was pretty sure he'd never feel that way.

He'd been fine until he met Kuroo. He thought about the Nekoma captain a lot after that. They'd barely spoken at all that game. They'd probably never see each other again and Tsukishima had been fine with that. If Takeda-sensei hadn't pestered Coach Nekomata so much this wouldn't have happened, it's a bit his fault too. Tsukishima gets up from the table and brings his plate into the kitchen, scraping the leftover food into the garbage can. His parents are still yelling. He goes up to his room and grabs his duffel bag from the closet, tossing clothes into it on autopilot.

If they hadn't gone to the Fukurodani groups training camp then he probably would have forgotten all about Kuroo, but they did go and Kuroo was there and he was just as attractive as Tsukishima had found him last time. He was irritating too. He could feel eyes on him no matter where he was in the gym, he was sure that the other teams were talking about them. The teams watched him closely as he played and it made him uncomfortable. He felt like he was going to climb out of his skin, but the worst was when Nekoma wasn't playing any games, because then Kuroo was there, watching him with his hooded stare and those golden eyes. His stomach did something weird every time he accidentally made eye contact.

It had been better when the freak duo had shown up. For once Tsukishima was glad to see them, though he refused to ever admit that to anyone. They drew everyone's attention with their freak sets and loud voices. Almost everyone's attention at least, because those golden eyes were still locked on Tsukishima whenever he chanced a glance across the gym. He made sure to keep his eyes on the game from that point. He'd decided that what he felt for the Nekoma captain was just a new level of annoyance and vowed to avoid him as much as he could.

Tsukishima zips up his bag as glass crashes downstairs. He doesn't feel anything, his head is in a fog, his body numb. If he'd just tried harder to avoid Kuroo everything would have been fine. But that crafty cat bastard had drawn him in any way. Their second trip to Tokyo was a week-long and he'd done his best to just blend into the crowd. He thought he was doing okay, he'd slipped out after practice turning down everyone else's mentions of extra practice. He was tired and sore and he wanted to take a bath before everyone else swarmed it.

Kuroo had ruined that plan. He'd called Tsukishima 'Megane-Kun' and it had annoyed him enough to make him respond before he really realized who he was talking to. The two captains stood in the doorway and tried to convince him to practice with the Fukurodani ace, he was one of the top spikers in the nation (but not the top three Akaashi had supplied) and it would be good practice. But Tsukishima was tired and he was still fully planning on avoiding Kuroo but those dumb golden eyes locked onto his and Kuroo had challenged him. Tsukishima couldn't stand to be challenged.

It was probably a bit Bokuto and Akaashi's faults too. With just three other people in the gym, they were more open. They shared casual touches between their sets and Bokuto declared his love for the setter whenever he hit a set he thought was particularly awesome. It made Tsukishima think of the weird thoughts he sometimes had since he'd met Kuroo for the first time. What would it feel like to have Kuroo's hand on his back the way Bokuto's rested on Akaashi's? Could he make Kuroo blush as much as Bokuto did when Akaashi whispered a few words to him? Tsukishima couldn't focus, couldn't block any of Bokuto's spikes, and then Kuroo had come up next to him and offered to help and he was giving advice and just being nice and general and as much as Tsukishima wanted to hate it he really couldn't.

Between discovering just how close Bokuto and Akaashi were and the way that Kuroo managed to slip between all his carefully built walls. It was really no surprise that Tsukishima had started to realize why he wasn't the same as all his classmates. He figured that night that he probably would never find a girl that interested him the way Kuroo did.

He'd been so lost in his head back then that one of Bokuto's spikes had managed to knock him completely unbalanced in the air and he'd been sure he was about to fall to the ground, but then fast as lighting, there was an arm around his waist and he'd been pulled upright and pressed against Kuroo's chest. It should have been gross, they were both soaked in sweat. He should have hated it. He always hated it when his own teammates had touched him. He'd taken too long to move away and he saw the curious look on Kuroo's face, and the confusion on Bokuto's, and the knowing look that Akaashi was giving him. It had all been too much and he'd hurried from the gym as more members of the Nekoma team showed up. His face had felt hot and his mouth was dry and he'd just needed to get away.

From that night on Tsukishima had sworn that he'd do everything he could to avoid the Nekoma captain but he just couldn't. He found himself back in gym 3 night after night and during the day there were too many people around and they would have questioned too much and so on breaks when Kuroo would plop down next to him on the ground or insist on sitting with him at meals there wasn't much he could do. And that one time that they'd been sitting against the wall together during a break and Kuroo had fallen asleep with his head on Tsukishima's shoulder and his black hair tickling his neck, well there wasn't much Tsukishima could have done. No one else wanted to wake up the hardworking captain either so he'd just had to sit there and suffer through it.

Tsukishima zips up his bag and hangs his headphones around his neck. He leaves the house without a glance into the dining room where his parent's voices are still raised. He feels numb, he feels like his head is trapped in a fog. He starts walking with no plan really but the more he thinks about it the more he decides that it's really all Kuroo's fault and since it's Kuroo's fault he should be the one to take responsibility.