Crush

Chapter 14

Again i'm sorry about Ontari." Clarke says in a low tone.

They are standing in a hallway away from her student's room of course. And yes she did pass her greetings in person. Teacher privilege, and also being a good girlfriend means getting along with her friends, even if they don't know you're dating .

Lexa's eyes are bloodshot, it breaks her heart that she can't comfort her. Hopefully tonight goes well and Lexa comes to her apartment, because she didn't know how much waking up alone sucks until Lexa wrapped her entire body around her, 

"Thank you." Taking a sit on the empty seats she sees.

Clarke does the same, taking a chance to hold her hands even though someone can recognize them. She looks around thinking about her mom, she is the chief of something, and she would plug herself in the eye if Abby saw them.

"Look at me" tilting Lexa's chin, so they are eye to eye, green to blue-gray. "I need you to know that I love you."

Green eyes move away, staring at nothing, she pulls her lip between her teeth and looks back at Clarke for only a second.

"Lexa, what my mom said is the truth..I mean not the entire truth...not about us, not about you but the truth..everything she said is my past, Finn is my past, I mean I want him to be. I will not go back to Finn, I moved because I wanted to start afresh." Lexa rolls her eyes knowing that Clarke was still with Finn when she came to Polis. "Fuck, yes I was with Finn and it was not clear to me then but ever since the night at the party, you Lexa consumed my thoughts and I tried but it was no use because I was rooted to the ground you walked on. I love you...Lexa, i'm in love with you."

"How...what if this is still a sport to you. How do I know this is real?" Her voice is breaking, Clarke squeezes her hand. "I know you and Finn have history and a relationship I'll never understand from what your mother said, that scares me, if you get bored with me...his hands are open and waiting...that scares me Clarke, i love you too much sharing is not an option. If you leave, my heart is not strong for that."

"Baby I won't leave you unless you want me to and even then I will still love you."

Her heart is in her mouth right now, Lexa just said she loves her.

"Why are you smiling?" Lexa asks, confusion in her eyes, she must not know what exactly her mouth blurted out.

"You said you love me." Searching the girls eyes. Lexa is hard to read and right now there is nothing in her eyes to tell her what she wants... Its good to have her open up just like seconds ago, but now she's closed off again.

"I don't want to get hurt." 

With a serious tone like that, Clarke drops her hand, Lexa takes that has her moment and stands to leave, walking out of the hospital. Clarke decides to follow her without making a scene.

Rains are pouring heavily outside. There is no sign of Lexa, she steps into the rain to look for the girl's car at the parking lot. No familiar Jeep around, its dark, she is wet and cold. Clarke sits at the edge of an empty parking space, legs pulled together, hands wrapping around them, head buried in between her arms. Crying her heart out. 

Did she lose her, did it end without even really starting?? Those thoughts became a loop in Clarke's mind. The rains have increased and her energy has reduced.

After a long ass moment, Clarke realizes that the rain is no longer pouring on her, but she can hear it, slowly she lifts her head and sees a pair of Jordan, black in colour, they look familiar so she tilts her chin higher and locks with her favourite green. One hand is holding the umbrella over her head and the other a soft blanket. A smile breaks from that sensational mouth and Clarke can't help but feel warm in the middle of all this. "I love seeing you wet but this is not sexy" 

A blush brightens her cheeks, standing from the wet ground. Her legs feel like shit. She grabs the blanket from Lexa, she'll probably get sick tomorrow.

"Let's go home." Lexa says pulling her closer.

****

FOUR MONTHS LATER

"what does it say" Clarke asks from her bedroom.

Octavia walks out of the bathroom with four pregnancy tastes tubes. Her eyes wide like a dear caught in headlights.

Her relationship has being amazing, well excluding the hiccups here and there. Like Diyoza cussing her ass over and over, because she loves Lexa so much she decided to stay out of the relationship with respect to the both of them. Titus didn't say much apart from glaring at her, Diyoza was probably speaking for the both of them. Jake was happy and accepted Lexa with open hands. Abby has not changed her mind and is always scoffing or leaving the room whenever she sees them together.

When she missed her period, Clarke thought nothing of it because its not the first time such a thing is happening to her.  Then she missed the next month and the other, her mind raced into the woods. There was no morning sickness just a little exhaustion.

"You're pregnant."

She did go to the Doctor and got checked. Being told she's four months pregnant was not convincing enough, thus the extra four tastes.

"Shit..will you tell her?" Raven says, she's sitting leg crossed on the floor. 

"I " 

"Clarke!" Both her friends call at the same time.

"You better not be thinking of keeping this from her." Octavia voices out.

"She isn't thinking that because she knows her girlfriend is a ticking time bomb and hates secrets." Raven adds. Laying her body on the floor. Eyes on the ceiling.

"She's leaving tomorrow, "

"Better she knows what she's leaving behind while napping on that plane."  Octavia drops the sticks on a table and joins her friend on the bed. Hoping to pump some sense in her little brain.

"You don't understand, Lexa nagged me to take the fucking pill and i forgot. She hasn't touched me for four months, wanting to take it slow and shit, so telling her i'm with child will crush her."

Raven is off the floor and now laying on the bed, "damn woman, still you should tell her."

"Raven is right, don't think about it just tell her, we don't know how that grenade will react. Don't take away her choice."