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Twenty Four

After a much needed shower, I threw on a clean hoodie and helped Sebastian get together a few more things to take to Aurelia. We moved around her room silently as we gathered clothes and toys.

It's weird that we aren't talking. We usually work so well together but now, we keep bumping into each other awkwardly. It's like we're off balance and trying to find our center again.

I step back and bump into Sebastian again and sigh in frustration.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you." He says quickly, his hand resting on my shoulder.

"No, it's fine. I just need a minute." I say and put the doll I'm holding into Aurelia's bag before heading out of her room. I go into the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed for a moment before I remember we have a balcony. The door creaks a bit as I open it and I assume its because we never go out here.

A cold wind blows around me as I lean on the railing. I see nothing but the city for as far as my eyes can see. I don't know why we never come out here. It's nice to have the fresh air without having to go out on the street and be tangled in with the masses of people. Plus, I don't have to worry about cameras up here.

I hear the door creak again and look over my shoulder to see Sebastian making his way slowly towards me.

"Is it okay if I join you?" He asks. I nod my head and he gives me a small smile. His arms rest on the railing as he looks out over the city. My eyes won't leave him. I study the stubble that covers his jaw, the way his eyes move as they watch the city life. I notice the bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep. His skin even looks tired.

I hurt knowing that I caused this. My recklessness has made his life harder than it already was.

I turn my head in the opposite direction of him and try to blink the tears away.

"What are you thinking about?" Sebastian asks just over the wind.

"Nothing." I sigh. "Everything."

"Indulge me?" He questions and I slowly turn my head to face him before looking down at my hands and nervously rubbing them together.

"I just can't help but think that I brought all these problems into your life the second I moved here." I confess.

"No you didn't." Sebastian argues.

"Yes, I did. I followed the reports on Alexia. She was never this disgusting until I showed up. Sure, she wasn't a good mom then either, but at least she wasn't trying to ruin your life at every turn. I caused that."

"No, Alexia caused that because she is a disgusting person." Sebastian counters again.

"Maybe that's true. But, it doesn't change the fact that ever since I got here, we haven't had much luck. There was the premiere, the fight a few months ago, Alexia constantly being a bitch, and...what happened at the club." I stop short after the last one, having to force myself to breathe.

"All of that was my fault." I sigh.

"None of that was your fault, Madelaine." Sebastian says as he turns his body toward mine. "What happened at the premiere was my fault. I invited Alexia and she chose to be a nasty bitch. The fight we had was because of me being an idiotic asshole. And for God's sake what happened at the club that night was in no way your fault. I could probably pin that one on myself too since it was related to the fight we had. Madelaine, you have done nothing but make our lives better. I am the one who has failed you." Sebastian breathes heavily as he finishes. He looks angry with himself as he turns back to lean on the railing, looking at the ground below us.

We stand there in silence for a while. I want to tell him that none of that is his fault either, but from the look on his face I know he won't listen to me.