Guilt

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Hermione POV

“W-what do you mean she’s….dead?” Draco’s voice quivers and for a second I think he’s going to cry. My gaze snaps towards McGonagall's face in search of some type of answer. 

Silence loomed between the three of us. I couldn’t bear to look at McGonagall’s sad face any longer. Pansy Parkinson is dead. How and why? I was unable to hide my shock. I slowly look up to Draco, he was expressionless and his eyes were slightly reddened.

McGonagall lets out a sigh as she clasps her hands together. “As I said, this morning it was all discovered. I am very sorry Mr Malfoy, I knew you and her were close and-“

“How did she die?” Draco harshly demands.

McGonagall didn’t seem to react to being cut off from her sentence; instead she gives Draco a sympathetic look. I just this this wasn’t going to be good. “Your friend Blaise Zabini found her in her bedroom early this morning. I’m afraid she took her own life.”

I gasped as McGonagall took a napkin from her sleeve and wiped around her eyes. Draco says nothing.

“She committed suicide?” My voice shook. “How… did she do it?”

“She was found hanging from the ceiling with a very strong rope wrapped around her neck, Ms Granger.” McGonagall sniffed. “This is an utter tragedy and the reasons why she committed this act are unknown. Her body was immediately taken away for examination before students began to leave their rooms. I wanted to come and reveal this unfortunate event to you both because of your status of head boy and girl, and of course Mr Malfoy’s close relationship with Pansy.”

I couldn’t speak. I was almost afraid to look at Draco because it would break my heart.

“What have I done.” Draco whispers. It was difficult to tell who he was speaking to, perhaps it was to himself. I could feel that I was breaking out into a cold sweat. Suddenly my legs felt like jelly and I had to sit myself down. I could see the back of Draco and he was still, almost impossibly still. His head was to the ground. I look at McGonagall now who had a look of extreme worry and despair.

“Mr Malfoy whatever went on between you and Ms Parkinson, it has nothing to do with you. I can understand-“

“You understand nothing!” Draco shouted causing me to flinch. “She… she is d-dead because of…me. Oh my god what have I done?”

I stand up and Draco races towards the door. Before I can even say anything or go after him, he’s gone. I stare at the empty spot where he stood, and then I look to McGonagall. Where is he going? Does he know that he’s not to blame for what Pansy has done? Is he going to do something stupid? I need to go after him.

“You must not follow him Ms Granger.” McGonagall tells me as if she read my mind. “It’s best to leave him be. He has had a terrible shock.”

‘All the more reason to go after him’ I say in my mind, but not aloud. McGonagall is right though. There’s a chance Draco might not want to see me right now.

“He blames himself.” I say flatly. “He can’t do that.”

“Mr Zambini informed me about problems that escalated between Pansy and Draco in recent times.” She tells me. “Pansy was in an unstable place but what she decided was on her behalf, not Draco’s. It is normal for somebody to put their selves in the blame for something this tragic.”

I slowly nod. “Yes, it is. But Draco isn’t just going to let this go. He’ll let this hang over him and bring him down. Ever since… Dumbledore he has suffered a lot. This could be the final blow for him.”  I coughed up on the last few words and I almost break into tears. McGonagall moves forward and places a sympathetic hand onto my shoulder. I smile kindly.

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