Letters to Spencer Reid

the letters

—This is long overdue (about two months but hey). I didn't know if anyone wanted to read the letters that she wrote. If you don't want to know, disregard the chapter, & if you do, I hope you enjoy! Thank y'all so much for reading & loving the story; it means more than you know—

***The way this works, is each important date and/or chapter name will be over each letter. The main letter she had Rossi keep safe is at the end***

And on that note, the Letters to Spencer Reid:

PHOTO BOOTH

Spencer,

Today was amazing. I didn't think I could have so much fun at a carnival, let alone convince you to go. I hope I never lose these pictures; part of me wants to— why the hell am I addressing this to you? Oh well, maybe one day you'll find this and laugh at my awkwardness.

The way you smiled tonight will be engraved in memory until the day I die. You're the perfect person, inside and out. Although things were kinda weird for a bit after the whole Elle situation, I'm glad tonight made up for it.

ADDICTION

Spence,

I'm definitely not crying writing this I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I came over to your apartment and saw you— why? Why would you possibly think it'd take the pain away? All I want to do is make sure you're happy and— you tried to push me away but I'm not leaving. I'm not, do you hear me? Of course you don't hear me this is a fucking letter you'll probably never even— why am I still writing these?

Spencer, I swear to god if you leave me I'm going to find you and kill you... that's drastic I know but how else would I get my message across? I need you to know you aren't alone through this. I know what it's like to be scared of your thoughts, and want nothing more than the pain to go away... you aren't alone. I'm here; I'll always be here.

MAEVE

Spencer,

I know you think I'm an idiot, and I understand that completely. You have to realize there's nothing more I want than your happiness. I should've been honest with you a long time ago with my feelings but I never could; that's why you have to be happy. Maeve was your light in the tunnel of darkness... all I could've been was a small flash at the end of the tunnel that broke instantly.

I'm so sorry I couldn't save her Spence; I really tried. And now I'm in my bed, and you're not here— I'll stop joking around I'm sorry. But I really am in my bed and can barely move. Spencer, I'll make it up to you one day, I promise. You deserve the world and more. Fuck, you deserve the entire universe. The love I have for you is astronomical and yet you'll never know.

I'm sorry, slender man.

ONLY THE BEGINNING

Spence,

Today's been extremely difficult. I'm currently sitting next to you in the hospital— you look so peaceful sleeping. I didn't know if you were going to make it because it was only a few millimeters from your carotid artery... I thought I was going to lose you. We promised each other that no matter what we'd never leave... you almost did. Not intentionally of course, but I don't know what would happen if—

Ugh sometimes I wish we could spend forever watching scary movies or going to museums, ya know? One day everything will end and be over with... I don't know what the world would be like without you. Probably pretty shitty if I'm being honest.