Hidden Identities // H.S

Prolouge

!!TW: Few mentions of abuse and suicide!!

     I stare at myself in the long mirror and don't recognize myself. The long white dress with long sleeves hides the bruises underneath, along with the caked makeup on my face. My hair loosely falls down to the middle of my back. I always wanted my hair up on my wedding day.

I hate the long sleeves and how the dress makes me look like a box. I hate all of this. This dress makes me look like those ghost girls you see in horror movies. The dress doesn't show off anything. The neckline falls right below my neck. Christopher didn't want me to show my collar bones. My nerves don't make any of this better. It feels like a hundred degrees under this dress.

I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back my tears. My mom comes up behind me, resting her jaw on my shoulder. She smiles at me, her wrinkles showing clearly around her mouth, "Are you ready?"

Her wrinkles around her mouth were something she always hated about herself. Ever since she pointed them out a few years ago, it's the only thing I seem to notice about her.

My own mother wouldn't even take my hints and pleads for help.

Oh Avalon there's no way.

Avalon quit this nonsense! Christopher is a wonderful man and you're lucky to have him.

Christopher would never lay a hand on you!

Maybe you should start listening to him and obeying him.

My dad died last year. He killed himself. Shit, if I lived with my mother I would too. He shot himself point blank in our basement. He didn't leave a note so we'll never get a reason why. A few months after he died my mother married her boss. It was obvious she was having an affair while my dad was still alive.

My mom has always wanted a picture-perfect family. All her three daughters to look nice and beautiful. She wants the whole world to believe we are perfect.

I cringe every time, looking at the pictures she has posted of my sisters and me all over her social media. Our fake smiles are plastered on each and every one of our faces.

Nothing is wrong with us. Her oldest daughter isn't raising her daughter all alone in the dangerous part of the city, her middle child doesn't get abused by her fiancé, and her youngest doesn't do every kind of drug available and hasn't overdosed once.

"Avalon?" She raises her voice and I flinch. I turn around and she takes a deep breath. "You know how much I hate it when you zone out like that! Now come on, the music is starting to play."

I squint my eyes at her, lightly dabbing my finger on her roots, "Your gray hairs are coming in, mother. Tragic you didn't dye them better on your daughter's wedding day."

She's about to speak but shuts her mouth. I can tell by her expression that she's scolding me but I always zone out during them.

I look over my shoulder and look at myself in the mirror. She grabs my hand and we walk out of the small room. The doors open to reveal the church. Everyone looks back at us as they stand.

My mom links our elbows together and I gulp. I don't feel like I'm walking. I feel like I'm walking on pins and needles. Everything hurts. I make eye contact with Christopher, immediately looking away. His light blue eyes following me down the aisle.

My mother hands me over to him, his touch being cold as ice. I try my best not to flinch or make a face at his touch.

He grabs my hands, looking at me while the priest says whatever the hell he's saying. I can't think. Everything around me sounds like a blur. He has a smile printed on his face as he tries his best to look at me in awe. Bullshit. He only puts the smile on while in front of people.