Saddest Beauty~A Daisuga Elf AU (and other ships)

Chapter 9~ Way Too Early

Daichi slowly and gently rubbed up and down the middle of the moon elf's back without knowing what to say; he had always been lacking in that field of communication skills. As each tear dripped down onto his shirt, he felt his heart contracting painfully. His brain told him it was probably because this was the first time he had seen someone cry, and he latched himself onto this excuse, ignoring his heart's indignant protests that spoke of love and feelings he had never felt before. Feelings that were completely new to him. Feelings that he had been forced to feel for girls by his parents. Feelings he knew that if they never found an outlet to escape, would battle around inside him and cause his body to detoriorate.

Feelings that were at the same time dangerous, but also the sweetest emotions in the world.

Eventually Sugawara stopped crying, his eyes red and swollen, the skin on his face stinging slightly; though the fact that he felt better was true, he didn't pull away from the embrace that the two now shared. His heart was heavy as he remembered that he now had to explain the reason for his sadness, the story he had unknowingly told about himself, and his past in general. The things he had tried the most to forget, he now had to resurface.

Deciding against prolonging the hug, the moon elf's grip on the back of Daichi's shirt slackened and he slowly lowered his arms, letting them fall at his side as he waited for the brunette to do the same. Reluctantly, Daichi did so, stepping back awkwardly from Sugawara. For a few minutes they looked at each other; red, swollen eyes staring into large, healthy ones. After a couple of seconds, Daichi hesitantly broke the silence.

"Um.. should we go and sit down somewhere?"

Sugawara nodded, in his heart thanking Daichi gratefully for not going straight to the point. He then followed the latter out into the guest room where Daichi slept, and silently closed the door behind them, leaving the two alone in the room. Daichi sat down on the bed, looking expectantly at the moon elf who shortly sat next to him. Daichi sighed deeply, not knowing where to begin. Eventually he found the words and tentatively said, "I feel like you've been stopping yourself from crying for a long time."

He stopped and glanced across at Sugawara to see his reaction. The moon elf was gazing down gravely at the floor, fidgeting with his hands. Daichi went on, "The reason you told Mayonaka that story was because you couldn't hold it in any longer." Once again he observed the silver-haired male, waiting for any type of outburst. Still nothing. He ventured on, "You don't have to tell me what happened, since I already heard the story.. but I wanted to say something." Here Sugawara lifted his head and looked at Daichi, fear displayed clearly in his eyes. Daichi knew he'd hit the mark; whatever he said now would surely take a place in his mind for at least a few days.

"Don't ever try to store it all inside yourself till you burst like that again. Because when you explode.. it'll be even worse than how you feel when you keep it all in. You don't necessarily have to tell me; you can tell anyone you're comfortable with. Just please don't do that again.. alright?"

Sugawara's eyes widened as what Daichi just said sunk in, his mind repeating the words as his heart understood them and felt a reaction. "Don't ever try to store it all inside yourself.. it'll be even worse than how you feel when you keep it all in... you can tell anyone you're comfortable with.. please don't do that again, alright?" A wave of emotion crashed over him; sadness, guilt, shame, but at the same time a warm, safe feeling. The feeling that he was cared for, that even though he didn't have family he had other people who were more important to him in the world.

Why hadn't he seen it before? He had Asahi, Nishinoya and Hinata - his friends from childhood - and he had Kiyoko and Tanaka, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, and every other elf he knew. He had everyone; and he had Daichi. Tall, strong-willed, kind Daichi.

His eyes once again filled with tears and he quickly looked down, angrily wiping them away to try and conceal their existence - he had cried enough tonight, he didn't need to cry more. Daichi, however, was not fooled, and gently squeezed Sugawara's shoulder. "Look at me, Suga."

Shakily, the aforementioned raised his head, forcing himself to look normal and failing spectacularly. And for the third time that day, Daichi wrapped his arms around him, repeating the same words:

"Cry it out."

...

For most of the night, the two talked. Sugawara spilled his heart out to Daichi, placing himself in all vulnerability in front of the brunette, who accepted and embraced him - something Sugawara took to heart and treasured. He had never been so open with anyone, much less someone he had met only a two or three days ago, and was overjoyed at this new friendship level he shared with Daichi. On Daichi's side, he was happy at being able to see the other side of the moon elf, of being able to encounter not only his graceful, well-kept personality and his vulnerable, emotional one as well. To him, it meant that they had taken their relationship a step further, and he now understood Asahi, Tanaka, Nishinoya and the rest of Sugawara's friends. He felt a strong protectiveness for the shorter male and was prepared to risk his life for him.

Eventually, the conversation topics turned to what they would do now with Mayonaka living with them. "Well, I don't know if you noticed, but.. Mayonaka is a moon elf as well.", Sugawara stated thoughtfully, "And moon elves in themselves are rare, so we need to take care of her and make sure she isn't put into more danger. She also told me that she'd been there in the forest for three days, and she survived on the water from a stream she found nearby and some wild berries. I'm surprised a girl her age was able to think rationally, but I guess it's just the survival instinct?". He sighed, looking up at Daichi and smiling, his face portraying newfound determination. "I will never leave her side. I won't let her experience what I did."

Daichi's heart fluttered at Sugawara's resolve and he smiled back, sending back an amused reply of "Me too, but we have to at least get some sleep so we're able to do that." The moon-elf's eyes widened as he realised how long it had been, and shot up. "Oh my, you're absolutely right! How will I even be able to get up tomorrow for breakfast? Oh dear, oh dear, I'm so awfully stupid.."

Daichi stood up as well, chuckling and patting Sugawara's shoulder. "Now, now, calm down.. you'll be able to wake up, don't worry. But let's go to sleep now so that it's easier to wake up tomorrow, huh?"

The silver-haired male nodded. "I'll go to my room, then.. goodnight, Daichi!"

"Wait!" Daichi stepped forward and grabbed Sugawara's lower arm, his grip a little tighter than he intended, though he loosened it as soon as Sugawara turned to look at him in mild surprise. A light blush sprinkled across his cheeks as he felt his heartbeat speeding up, regretting what he had wanted to do. He let go, slightly shaking his head. "No, nothing, sorry.. goodnight."

Sugawara uneasily replied "Yeah.." before opening the door and walking silently out, closing it behind him. Daichi crashed down onto his bed, burying his face in his pillow as his face flushed scarlet. What was I going to do? Kiss him? Seriously? Shame on you, Daichi, shame on you - wanting to spoil such an innocent soul.

He looked up, his blush slightly lessened as he comtemplated, "And anyway, I don't even know if he feels the same way. It's way too early, we've only just met and got to know each other. I have to have more patience..."

"It's way too early for him to love me."