Belle Morte Bites (Belle Morte 4.3)

Nicholas: Part Five

Oxford, England, 1844

Oxford was beautiful at night.

The moon cast silvery pools of light onto the buildings of distinctive golden stone, while arches and spires sliced through the sky, black against the stars.

But tonight, Gideon Hartwright barely noticed it.

Nicholas was in good spirits, talking animatedly as they walked back to the inn they were staying in after an evening of quietly hunting down blood in the darker streets of the city.

Gideon wasn't sure if Nicholas had noticed Gideon's mood, or if he was talking more than ever to somehow soften it.

Was it really possible that Nicholas couldn't tell that Gideon wasn't happy anymore?

It wasn't especially cold out tonight, but a fire burned in the inn's main room, and several men were huddled around it, holding mugs of beer. They all nodded to Nicholas and Gideon as the two vampires came in, except for one of them, who shot them both dark looks. He probably suspected that they were more than friends, and he didn't like it.

Gideon looked away.

When he'd first disappeared into the night with Nicholas three years ago, abandoning London and heading out to see the world, Gideon had felt invincible, like nothing could hurt him now that he was a vampire.

Except they could.

All the vampire strength in the world wasn't armour against casual human cruelty.

Nicholas had warned him about this, and it hadn't been long before Gideon found out for himself just how true it was. With Nicholas, he'd overcome his fear of his own sexuality, that awful feeling that there was something wrong with him.

But far too many people thought like Godric and his father.

Men sleeping with men was illegal and in some cases punishable by death, and while Gideon had encountered people who felt that capital punishable was grossly unfair, especially for an act that hurt no one, plenty of other supported the death penalty.

His confidence had started to fail.

His old fears had come creeping back.

On top of everything, his relationship with Nicholas had, over the last few months, rapidly deteriorated.

Nicholas led the way upstairs, to the small room they were renting.

Since leaving London, they hadn't settled for too long in any one place. At first they explored smaller towns, before finally arriving in Oxford, where Nicholas had expressed hope of staying a little longer. He'd been here before, but that was a long time ago, and Oxford was changing, adapting to Britain's growing global influence, thanks to its victories over Napolean, its expanding empire, and the revolutionary developments it was making in the fields of transport and communication.

Gideon had agreed, because it no longer mattered to him where they lived.

"You're quiet tonight," Nicholas commented as he shut the bedroom door, and slung his coat on the hat-rack in the corner. "Is something on your mind?"

Where to even begin?

"Gideon?" Nicholas said, and he sounded worried this time.

It was now or never.

Gideon lifted his chin and met Nicholas's eyes. The other vampire was as beautiful as ever, with that dark hair and those blue eyes, and the mouth that Gideon had come to know so well. But Gideon no longer felt the same pull towards him that he once had.