Radioactive

I'm waking up

"Anything?" Steves asks Wanda once she's gone through all the unconscious soldiers minds.

Wanda furrows her brow and shakes her head sadly, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. "They did not seem to know what was in the vial, just that they had orders to give it to the non-enhanced in the facility." Wanda stated.

"How did they know she was here?" Nat demanded.

Wanda twists her fingers nervously. "None of them knew who she was. But they are all Hydra, so maybe one of their superiors knew something?"

You're leaning against the wall, your arms crossed and your mind reeling. You can't take your eyes off the man you just killed. You were trained to save lives and you just broke one of the most important rules as a healthcare provider. How can you ever go back to work now? You can't bring yourself to look at anyone.

"We're landing now." You hear Steve say as Wanda tries to answer all of Natasha's furious questions.

You hear the call end, and Wanda comes over to stand in front of you. You look at her feet.

"Y/n?" she asks and gets no response.

She follows your eyeline and sees you staring at the body.

"He would have killed you if you gave him the chance." She said, lightly touching your arm.

You turn your head away, tears threatening to spill. You can't bear to look up in fear of seeing the empathy in her eyes. You don't deserve that, you're a killer.

"Look at me." Wanda says gently. You look up to meet her eyes, which shone in understanding. "I've been there before, but this wasn't your fault. He didn't give you a choice." she said.

"You don't know that." you say sadly. "You can't possibly know that. He might have been a good man. What if he had a family? What if he was being blackmailed?" you demand, voice getting louder as you feel the panic start to rise in your chest. "But we'll never know his story, because he's dead. Because I killed him!!!" tears start to stream down your face, but Wanda remains silent.

"I'm a monster." you add quietly, sinking to the ground, your face buried in your hands.

"I've got her." Nat says, her voice coming from the doorway behind you.

You hear Wanda sigh before her footsteps echo down the hallway.

You feel Nat's arms wrap around your shoulders, and her soft hands start to rub soothingly down your arms. As soon as you feel her, you can't stop the sobs from ripping out of your chest. The past week's trauma is catching up with you and overwhelming your senses. You lean into Nat as you cry, gripping her arms desperately, fighting to stay in control.

"Baby, it's ok I'm here." Nat coos, rubbing your back and stroking your hair. "You're safe. You did what you had to do. You're so strong. I love you." she repeats over and over, until you run out of tears, and the uncontrollable sobs slow.

She leans in slowly, kissing your temple. Then again on your tear-soaked cheek. One at the corner of your mouth, where the saltiness from your tears ran down too.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, turning to look up at her. You aren't sure what your face looks like, but when she looks down at you you can see her heart break. You reach your arms up around her neck and pull her into a hug.

You feel her strong arms wrap around you, pulling you closer.

"You could never be a monster." she whispered into your ear, pressing a light kiss to your neck.

You let out a shaky breath at her words. "It just feels so wrong." you admit, nuzzling into the crook of her neck, finding comfort in her.

"It's supposed to." she replies, her hand coming up to cradle the back of your neck.

As simple as that was, it was exactly what you needed to hear.

Just then, Tony walks in with Steve.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asks while Tony walks over to the vial to examine it.

Reluctantly, you pull away from the safety of Nat's arms, but she pulls you into her lap to get more comfortable on the floor. "Fine I guess." you say. "My skin kind of feels tingly, but other than that nothing's different."

Steve nods, and Tony looks at you curiously. "I'm gonna need a blood sample, and some scans. Then I guess we just.... Wait." Tony says, stroking his beard.

"That's it??" Nat asks in disbelief.

Tony shrugs. "That's all we can do really. It's too late to extract whatever they injected her with, and unless it's a tracker or something solid, we can't remove it. We just have to wait and see how she reacts, and be ready if she does." He looks at you apologetically, while motioning for you to follow him to the lab.

You sigh, but grab Nat's hand as you stiffy get to your feet.

"Alright then, let's figure this out." you say with a nod.