The F5 (Fraternal Five)

Missing

Several goodbyes, farewell kisses, and overflowing tears later, the group eventually finds their way to a live music bar.

Tay stays behind to take a long phone call from New, apologizing because he couldn't join them, nagging about responsible drinking, and finally promising to come pick Tay up. By the time Tay eventually arrives at their table Gun, Krist, Bright, and Win have all found their way to the dance floor, dancing and singing along with the band, leaving Earth and Mix in their own world as always and Off, brooding over his first and only bottle of beer (he's driving tonight).

"I feel so single right now." Tay starts, motioning at Earth and Mix in front of them. "We're supposed to be in our honeymoon phase."

"You tell me." Off grumbles agreeing. "Teacup hasn't left Kit's side since Singto's gone. At this point I doubt he remembers who he belongs to."

"Damn it, Peng. You're in too deep with this 'casual' dating." Tay snickers, sarcasm laced his words as he does the air quotes.

"I am, aren't I?" Off gives him a weak smile, then curses lazily. "Damn it."

"You won't even deny it?"

"Nah."

Tay chuckles ironically. "You're hopeless."

"Like you're any better, star-crossed lovers."

Tay stares at him in betrayal, then agrees flatly the next second, "Right."

They burst into sad, bitter laughter.

Off gulps down his beer and asks, "Hey, what's after graduation for you?"

"I don't know ... I might apply for some job around here. You?"

"Same. Let's apply at the same place so it won't feel too lonely."

Tay laughs bitterly. "Gods. We're becoming sad old men."

"Fifty years too soon, idiot!" Off hits the back of Tay's head. "What about Newwie? He's not planning to go back home?"

"Nope. He's staying in the city, with or without me. He has his ten years plan all figured out already."

Off turns to Tay, interest piqued. "So how much time do you have left?"

Tay winces. "Until it's time to let him go?"

"Yeah, whatever that means."

Tay sighs. Steadying himself, then says, "He's marrying his girlfriend in five years."

"Damn." Off shakes his head, staring into nothing. "Five years, huh .... Then you're back to being strangers?"

"Don't judge me. It's either that or nothing at all, Peng."

"I'm sorry. That's so depressing, my friend." Off pats Tay's back. "Is there a chance to ... uh, make it work between you three?" He asks gingerly.

"She's such a sweet girl, Peng. And she looks sincere toward Hin, so." Tay sighs. "We can't just do her wrong like that, it's unfair."

"Yeah, well, it's unfair for you two, too."

"Don't tell Nong Gun. New doesn't show it but I have a feeling him pestering New only puts pressure on his conscience. He's made up his mind, Peng."

"He can be insufferable sometimes." Off chuckles at the thought of the fiery little guy. "I understand. But you really okay with that?"

Tay flashes Off a bitter smile. "We'll get over it. In time, I'm sure."

"Shit, Tay." Off curses. "That's just sad but I've got your back, okay?"

"And I, you." Tay shoots him a grateful look. "Always."

"Yeah, well, time out. Staring into each other's eyes any longer and we might just kiss, ew." Off scoffs, getting up.

"Aw, Peng! I thought we're having our moment?" Tay chuckles.

"Moment, my ass. Come help me splitting Teacup and Kit up, will you?"

*

In the end, Off didn't have to do anything. An open mic session leads to Krist taking over the whole stage and turning it into his personal concert.

Not that anyone's complaining, with Krist's powerful emotion radiates through his flawless voice.

"It's a torture to know my tears won't bring back someone who used to be right here with me ...."

"Shit, I got goosebumps. Whose song is this?" Off mutters, stopping behind Gun. To the smaller guy's right, Bright and Win stand hypnotized by Krist's performance.

Gun turns around, tears flowing down freely from his red, puffy eyes. "It's a song he wrote for Singto."

"Aw, Teacup!" Off exclaims, in a hurry to wipe the tears from Gun's face. "They'll be fine, hey. They're stronger than this." He pulls the small guy in an embrace.

"I know but ... still sad ...." Gun replies, voice muffled.

"This is so heart-wrecking. Poor Kit ...." Tay joins in. The rest nods grimly at him.

Suddenly, Gun draws back. "I'm gonna go wait at the backstage. Pii, you coming?"

Off blinks, wasn't expecting Gun to involve him. "Of course, yeah. Let's."

Grabbing the crook of Off's arm, Gun pulls him along as he waves to everyone, "See you around, guys."

An inexplicable warm spreads across Off's heart from the small action.

*

"Hey," Off pulls back when they almost reach the backstage. It's a relatively quiet hallway, away from the crowd and full-blast sound system.

Gun stops and turns to him.

"Can we stay and talk for a while?"

Gun shifts to fully face the tall guy. "Yeah, what's up?"

"Just wanna check in with you." Off stares at Gun in wonder. He's been working, visiting his mom's grave, and comforting his brokenhearted friend all day without rest. Off knows he's strong, but—how is it possible that he's not breaking down yet? "Are you okay, honest?"

Gun closes his eyes, pressing the gap between them. "Yeah, just a bit tired."

"I know you said not to get weird but ... you haven't cried at all since your visit. Is it normal, or ...?" Off sighs, mentally scolding himself. He used to be the suave Off Jumpol, now look at him! Stumbling over his words. What a failure. "I mean, I need you to know that you don't need to hold back on anyone's account. I can excuse us just fine."

"But, I've just cried ...?" Gun says confusedly, pointing to their friends' direction, where they've just been a moment ago.

Off blinks. "Oh but I thought, it was—"

"Thank you for checking in, Papii. Truly." Gun smiles softly, standing on his tiptoes to give Off's cheek a light peck. "I feel a lot better now."

Without waiting for Off's response Gun turns around and leaves, but not before flashing him a look of appreciation.

It's a torture to know my tears won't bring back someone who used to be right here with me ....

At that time Off realizes, how very naive of him to think he could actually stand a chance against the Gun Atthaphan.