The F5 (Fraternal Five)

Family

"I heard you helped Newwiee solve the problem with Tay's family." Off looks over his boyfriend, tone proud.

"Oh, Papii, it's just one phone call." Gun mutters calmly in reply, flipping over the pages to Off's huge reference book for his thesis. They've promised Tay and New to hang out at the library for old time's sake, though now they recreate it with Gun.

"Still. I'm proud of you, baby." Off kisses the top of Gun's head, making the latter giggle shyly.

"Papii, you're also good. So good that instead of P'New, P'Tay would seek you out in times of trouble."

"Because he likes to bother me." Off grumbles. "Besides, I could feel it changing, little by little. New's more than capable of handling Tay's messes, he's just never there when Tay needed him before."

"Well, good for them!" Gun grins.

"Pfft, you mean good for me." Off chuckles. "Anyway, you coming to the airport tomorrow?"

"I'm sorry, I have work all day. Tell Singto welcome back for me? But I should be free around five though, we can go picking a cake for P'Tay then celebrate it to him?"

"Sure, I'll pick you up. And what time are you getting to work? I'll give you a lift."

"Whoa .... Bai posted a photo of him with Nong Win and Nong Win actually liked it! Nothing gets past Dispatch, as usual. Papii, are they dating?"

"Ai Teacup." Off shakes his head in amusement.

"OMG Nong Win looks so cute in the picture! Bai, you cheeky bastard! Oh, oh! I know, can we adopt him, Papii?" When Off stays silent, Gun looks up from his phone. And realizes, a second too late, that he's been leaving Off's question unanswered. "Oh, yeah, of course. I need to be there at seven."

Off nods. "Last week you said you wanted to adopt this freshman named Chimon from Earth's faculty."

"Yes, our newest intern! He's so cute, I bet you'll like him at first glance, Papii!"

Off grimaces baffled. "I swear I'm too old for this trend."

"That's what I said!" Tay exclaims a bit too excitedly, appearing from nowhere and earning collective shushes from the people around them.

"Aw, P'New you want to adopt cute babies, too?"

"We already have three." New grins widely, taking the chair beside Gun. He pulls out his phone and shows Gun the photos of his 'kids'. "This is Frank. Pluem. And Nanon. Ignore the order and ISTG if you try to adopt any of them—"

"So jealous! You've a big family already." Gun pouts, turning to Off. "Papii, can we adopt Chimon and Nong Win please? Pleaseee?"

"Instead of me you should ask them personally, no?"

"But you must swear to protect them with your own dignity and blood!"

"Uh ...." Off glances at Tay for help, but then a more brilliant idea comes across him. "Hey, what about you adopt a pet instead?"

"A pet?" Gun knits his brows in confusion. "Like a real animal, or—"

"This." Off points at Tay. "This one right here is the perfect pet for you. You can take him for a walk, play with him whenever you're bored, or, you know, dress him up in maid clothes or something."

"Peng ...! Who even gave you permission to give him—uh, permission, to—anyway, I never said I agreed to any of it! So! That's violation of human rights!"

New laughs silently as Tay just keeps on ranting in half voice.

"And he barks a lot; matches your energy." Off shrugs, blantantly ignoring Tay.

"Actually ...." Gun observes Tay. "Yes. Okay, maybe it's too early to start a family, seeing that we haven't passed the third base yet." New breaks into loud laughter at this. The head librarian personally comes over to scold them for that. "Then, P'Tay, I hereby make you my first pet."

"Alaiwa, why don't you be my pet instead!" Tay scowls.

"Just take turns, you dorks!" New chuckles, utterly amused by the absurd situation. "That way you can have a family without having Off's member shoved up your, um—"

"New! That's quite enough, you filthy asshole!" Off hisses, glaring at New.

"Asshole, yes, just the word I'm looking for." New nods, satisfied.

"You're a lost cause." Off groans giving up.

"Not as much as you, Khun Third Base-zoned. Doesn't this remind you of the time when you practically had your own aisle here to fuck? Brings back memories, huh?"

"Hey!" Off casts a quick glance at Gun, but the small guy looks perfectly okay except that his face is very red from holding back laughter. "Jesus, you and your unfiltered mouth." He grumbles.

"Hey, guys, since when did we move our basecamp here?" Krist comes by with huge grin on his face. "And FYI, we all can hear you from three tables radius."

"You do??" Gun's eyes weirdly light up at that. "So Kit, do you have a family of your own, too?"

"As a matter of fact, we do. It's a little family of P'Sing, me, our baby Fiat, and my pets Pluto and Muffin."

Gun turns to Tay, eyes shining with determination. "I've decided. Let's be pets, P'Tay. Woof!"

New laughs until they're banned from the library for a month.

"You guys okay? What happened, phis? I saw the commotion from my building." Win comes over as the librarian leaves with occasional death glares.

"Oh, it's Win luk." Off greets absentmindedly. New starts to laugh again as Gun just stares at Off in shock.

"Yay! We're gonna be the best parents, Papii!" Gun abruptly throws himself into Off's arms.

The poor guy freezes hearing that. "Wait wha—"

Gun grins, turning to Win. "Welcome to the family, luk."

"Huh?" Win holds up his hands in surrender. "What's with everybody trying to adopt me into families?"

"Wha—"

"No! You're ours! Papii has chosen you!" Gun crosses his arms attempting to look menacing. Keyword being attempting.

"In other word, I'm the chosen one?" Win grins cheekily.

Tay nods, patting his shoulder. "If you know it, go save the world or something."

"First interaction of Win luk and my pet!" Gun cheers, taking out his phone to capture the moment. New and Krist fall about laughing.

"Now, let's take our first family picture. Let Bai know just who he needs to kiss up!" Gun hands over his phone to New.

"Ai Teacup, do you even realize how fucked up this whole thing sounds??" Off nags on as he obediently lines up beside Gun and Win.

"Ai Peng you simp!" Tay laughs until he nearly falls (Newwiee catches him with his other hand on time).