The F5 (Fraternal Five)

Love

"He's a tough nut to crack, huh? I personally think it's his charm, though." Oab smiles fondly at the thought of his boyfriend, and Off has to restrain the urge to choke the guy. "He's a lot to handle but he's sincere, and that's a rare quality in this industry. Like diamond rare."

Getting no reaction, Oab goes on. "So forgive me if I'm overstepping. Gun's like my little brother, though he's technically my senior." He chuckles. "We go way back. Been through hell and everything. I can't help but feel protective toward him, you understand it, right? But there's nothing between us, I give you my word. We kissed and everything onscreen but it never became weird, and it sure as hell won't be anytime soon."

This time Oab looks over at Off, waiting for an answer. So Off nods curtly. "Glad to know."

He doesn't look glad at all.

"I don't usually meddle in his affair, but then again, after P'Pak, Gun doesn't really involve himself with anyone. Until you." Oab smiles sincerely. "I can see that my little guy has grown fond of you, Phi. If it isn't too much to ask, can you promise me to treat him well?"

"And what makes you think I don't?"

"No, I just ...." Off's question caught him off guard, and Oab struggles to find the right words. "I don't know if you know, but Gun had always been aware that P'Pak was using his guilt to his own advantage. He just let it slide—a lot of things, really. Because he's just that type, you know?"

"What type?"

"To give his all when he falls in love."

Off doesn't know what to think. So Gun loved Pak ... and is fond of Off.

Fuck, that hurts.

"If it seems like I accuse you of anything, P'Off, I'm truly sorry. Believe me, that was never my intention. I'm just here out of good faith to ask you to please don't take him for granted. Don't make things more difficult than they already are for him. Please, he's suffered enough in the past. Life is hard enough on him. I don't want to see him going through the same shit ever again. You know he deserves a love that doesn't exploit him ...."

"...I give you my word that I won't." Off says quietly, but not without determination.

Hearing that, Oab breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank you! Also ...." He pauses just in time to catch himself. "Actually, there's more, but it's best if Gun tells you himself." He gives a reassuring smile that does nothing to Off's growing anxiety. "Give him time, 'kay?"

Off nods dismissively. Like what choice does he have?

"Anyway, I think that's about—huh, is that Gun?"

Off follows his gaze and immediately rises up. There, on the porch, stands Gun, with Pak practically blocking his way. "What the fuck is that bastard doing here?" He growls angrily.

Oab grimaces. "Same as me I reckon; we got an invitation. Who's in charge of the guest list anyway?"

"Fuck if I know, but I have my suspicions." Gun's girl friends are here; to overlook their drama-magnet reputation is simply asking for the impossible. And there's the fact that they can't forgive Gun but can come to his party, too.

"No, Phi, don't! He can hold his own ground. Don't you trust him?" Oab catches Off's arm realizing what the latter's about to do.

"Look, it's not about trust, okay? He's got me now; he never has to fight alone anymore." Off's words catch Oab off guard for the second time today, making his grip falter. Off breaks free, then makes straight for the porch.

*

"...Just one chance, that's all I ask! You never gave me a closure Gun. Don't I at least deserve that?"

"P'Pak ... if it makes you feel any better, all this time I've also lived with immense guilt for inflicting that much pain in you. For making you like this. To this day, I still blame myself for it. To the point that I'm too scared to start anew." Gun says with a sad voice that doesn't touch his eyes. "But humans are fickle, aren't we? We can't help it if love turns to obsession, or to guilt. And there's simply nothing we can do to go back to where we were."

"I can't say I agree with you, for I still love you, but I get the message, Gun." Pak nods. Abruptly he steps forward, opening his arms. "One last hug?"

Cornered further to the wall, Gun's composure begins to falter. "I'd rather not."

"C'mon, Gun? For old time's sake?" Pak moves dangerously closer and Gun flinches, involuntarily recalling unpleasant memories.

Gun's panicked, uncomfortable gaze darts around before falling on Off, who has stopped at a respectable distance from them. Their eyes meet—and that's when Off loses it. Blinded by rage, he lungs at Pak.

"Papii, no ...!" Gun tries with all his might, but only after Pak could no longer move and a crowd formed, does he succeed on getting Off off his ex. A silence falls before people begin to talk in hush hush.

Don't make things more difficult than they already are for him.

In a trance, Off pulls back, Oab's voice ringing loudly in his ears.

"WHOA! This party is: LIT!" Meanwhile, Oab quickly accessed the situation and has already worked on damage control: acting drunk and diverting all attention to himself. He makes for the bar and kisses everybody on sight, subsequently herds the crowd away from the disaster.

A deep respect for the guy develops inside Off. In contrast, I .... He looks over the horrible state he and Pak are in, utterly ashamed of himself. He says big words then goes ahead and screws everything up.

Every damn time.

In deep remorse, he barely registers Gun calling his manager over, then crouching beside Pak, slapping his cheek lightly.

"Gun, I—I'm sorry—I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine, Papii. We'll take care of it." Gun looks up from barely-conscious Pak, smiling reassuringly.

"All I do is make things difficult for you huh ...." Off mutters shamefully under his breath.

"Hmm, what was it?" Gun gets up and approaches Off, checking for any wound: other than bruised knuckles, he's perfectly fine. Sighing in relief, Gun brings together Off's hands in his and squeezes them, careful not to touch the bruises. "Hey, talk to me, what's wrong?" With feather-soft voice he asks.

Off looks into Gun's eyes and immediately regrets it.

His eyes are so calm it's scary. A stark contrast to Off, who can barely get a hold of himself. Shame washes over him, so intense that every fiber of his being is filled with disgust. Of himself.

And then, all too abruptly, panic takes over.

No .... He didn't just ruin Gun's career, did he? What if Pak sues them? How can he live with himself, knowing he's the reason of Gun's downfall? How can he look him the eyes, and tell him he loves him?

You know he deserves a love that doesn't exploit him ....

"Gun. I—I need some time alone, sorry." Avoiding Gun's steady gaze, Off takes flight.

"Papii, wait ...!" Gun reaches out, but Off has already gone.

A/N Update yay! And happy birthday to our best guy Oab! 💚