Band One-Shots (boyxboy)

Little Lion Man (Fuenciado)

I lay waste to myself. My skin erodes away underneath the metal blade, turning into red. Red. Red. Red. My eyes turn bloodshot from the tears that salt my face.

I've killed with my ambition. I tell myself that maybe I'm allowed to be happy, maybe I don't kill everything I touch, but then I kill again.

I don't mean to, but my smile is like acid. I've stopped smiling for fear that I'll burn another innocent soul. Too many innocent souls have left this friendship with third-degree burns on their hearts.

A heart is something I've lost. I had one once, but I melted it with venom. It simply corroded away along with everything I believed in.

I believed in God, but now I believe I blood. I believed in love, but now I believe in death. I believed in happiness, but now I only believe in defeat.

I'm far past the point of return.

I tried so hard, see. I don't know what I ever did wrong. He told me I wasn't enough, and I know I'm not. I'm not enough.

I worked for hours to get good grades, only to barely pull a C. I went out of my way to buy my mother a birthday gift over a time-span of sixth months, but it wasn't enough for her. She smiled to my face and turned to hold her head I'm shame. I sacrificed my happiness to save a friend, but they killed themselves anyways. My effort has never been worth it because the only footprint I've left in the world has been wreckage and destruction.

I'm certain I've deserved all the pain I've been dished out. In fact, it's not enough for how worthless I am. And so I find myself shredding my skin for the sake of feeling alive again. Feeling something other than unworthy. Unholy. Toxic.

The blade clashes to the floor, a pool of blood flowing around it. I watch as it grows, knowing I've taken it much too far this time. There's too much of it for me to be okay. I was never okay.

Kellin made it so. He tore my heart apart from the inside, so I tear my wrists apart from the outside. Anything to make the pain stop. Eighteen years has pushed me too close to the edge.

I'm sure that at this moment I'm hanging by a finger. My arms are shaking and weak. My head spins from the height. The height from this world before I fall to hell for being hopeless.

"Vic?" a voice sounds from outside the locked bathroom door. I furrow my eyes brows as it's not my little brother. "Mikey called me sounding pretty worried. He said you came home all bruised up and locked yourself in the bathroom. Did something happen between you and Kellin?" my vision hazy from lack of blood, I still couldn't figure out who was on the other side of the wood.

I heard the person sit down, a hand being placed on the door. "Mike told me that things have been pretty rough for you these past few months. You haven't been eating, always wearing jumpers even when it's warm outside, you've stopped talking, and you've stopped caring all together. I know I haven't been there for you. I'm sorry. Vic, tell me what's going on. You're my best friend. I love you, man." his voice broke, the sound of tears prevalent.

I assumed the mystery man behind the door was Jaime Preciado: my best friend for six years. He had fallen away from me when Kellin entered my life as Kellin hated him. Kellin said it was because he didn't like the way he looked at me, like I was a piece of meat and deserved to be treated better than that.

Obviously not. He beat it, I sliced it. The life that was once present in my eyes was long gone, eradicated by a boy who promised his love was genuine.

But nothing is genuine. Nothing is for the greater good. People use other people to get what they want. It's just the way life works and there isn't anything anyone can do to change it. Kellin wanted someone to push around, so he persuaded and convinced me that he loved me. The worst part is that I fell for it.