Bellatrix vs me

A new way to scream, my way

Warning TW

The next day I was woken up earlier than usual by Draco knocking on my door, "Hey I'm sorry for waking you up but I just have to say that I will be gone until tomorrow, business you know" he whispered standing in the doorway dressed up in a suit. My eyes were blinded by the little amount of light that came into my room. "Alright, goodbye then" I answered and he walked out and closed the door after him. I tried to go back to sleep after that but my thoughts about, literally anything was playing around in my mind.

It has now been 3 hours of me just laying in my bed drowning in random thought until I felt how my stomach begged for food. I finally got up and dressed myself in a long sleeved, thight brown shirt with beige, high waisted sweatpants as I put my hair in a messy bun. It was exactly 7.37 am when I checked the clock and made my way down to the kitchen. The house was completely quiet, I think everyone was asleep. It was only one week until it was Christmas, I didn't expect an amazing Christmas but I still think it was a cozy feast and just the thought of it makes me all warm inside. The house was quite depressing and there were no Christmas decorations at all, just dark and sad. I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and sat down drinking it in silence.

After an hour or so it was still quiet and empty, I suspected both Narciss and Lucuis followed Draco on his mission. So it was probably only me and Bella in the house right now. I thought about everything we could do ALL ALONE in the house but Bella herself walked in and interrupted me in my thoughts. "Good Morning" I said as I saw her, "morning, why are you up so early dear?" she asked me as I always woke up pretty late. "Couldn't sleep I guess" and I drank up the leftovers of my chocolate. "Did Narcissa and Lucius also follow Draco?" "Narcissa did but Lucius is still here" she said as she looked disgusted by naming Lucius. I think we had the same thoughts about him, totally miserable. I nodded with a smile on my face.

After a while I left to walk up to my room again as Bella was called by the dark lord to do something I wasn't allowed to know. While I was walking up the stairs I met Lucius on the way. Great, did I really have to meet Lucuis? His face expression changed as he saw me and looked like he'd got a plan in his head. "Morning dear, would you like to follow me downstairs?" he asked me politely. "Yes of course" I answered as I wondered what he wanted.

He walked down the stairs but not into the kitchen as I thought, he kept walking along the hall into the warm living room, I think that was the only warm room in this house, the rest of the house were quite cold. "Sit down please" he asked me pointing on the sofa, hiding a smirk on his face. I did as he said he sat down on the one opposite to me. He sat himself on the armchair besides me and looked me in my eyes. I smiled awkwardly at him as I was quite uncomfortable. "Strange isn't it huh" he said looking me up and down. I swallowed hard of how uncomfortable I felt. "May I ask you a few questions, my dear" he asked me. "I actually have a lot to do so..." I lied as I really wanted to leave this.

His face changed to a more mad face but a moment later he smiled at me as I was a stupid little girl. He didn't allow me to go, instead he kept going. "The daughter of the Stranges huh, what would happen if I would tell the dark lord" he asked with a disgusting grin on his face. I can imagine I looked very uncomfortable. "I won't join the death eaters'' I said, trying to sound convincingid, and didn't want to join the death eaters neither, I was well known about what they did, what they were doing, and I would never accept that. "Oh darling, I think you got me wrong here, you've no choice". I started to realise where he was going with all of this. "I won't do it, Voldemort is not gonna do a shit" I said as I stood up from the sofa and he did as well. I was swallowing hard again and just wanted to run away but something stopped me, I wanted to know where this whole conversation was gonna end. "How dare you speak his name!" he yelled. "and Y/N... you will join us, you're nothing compared to the dark lord's power" he said with a wicked face looking down at me as he was much taller.

I was about to walk out the room as he didn't let me pass him. "Oh you're not going anywhere my dear" he said as he pushed me back where I was standing, I almost lost my balance. He started to walk towards me slowly moving his head from one side to another to see my terrified face. I kept walking backwards so he wouldn't come any more near me but as soon as I reached the wall, I was stuck, as he kept walking towards me. "You see, don't disrespecT" The only way I had was running past him which was worth a try, I failed. He grabbed me by both of my arms as I kept trying to free myself from his hard grip. "Let me go you little piece of shit!" I yelled. "Oh you never learn silly girl" he said with a grin on his face. He grabbed me even harder, pushed me down the sofa, holding my neck while pinning both of my arms behind my back. I wasn't able to move because of the position I was in. I was scared, I honestly was scared. When it was Bella I didn't feel as frightened as I did at this moment right here.

"You little girl you will regret what you've said" as he threw me across the room with only the grip of my neck. He was stronger, taller and more powerful than I was, I had no chance against him. He walked towards me as I was lying on the floor and felt how my tears wanted to escape my eyes but I didn't want him to see me weak. He grabbed my arm, dragging me on the floor til the sofa. "Get up on the sofa" he ordered me as he still held my arm. As I refused he kicked me so hard in my stomach that I wasn't able to breath. "GET UP I SAID" he yelled when I didn't listen to him. I did as he said trying to catch my breath again. When I was on the sofa he tried to take my shirt off as I directly stopped him, he then slapped my face so hard everything got dizzy for a moment and I wasn't really conscious. He wrapped off my shirt leaving me in a bra, I tried to make resistance but he only rather kicked or slapped me as fast as I tried, I had no chance. He lifted my body so I was now lying on my stomach as he dragged off my pants and socks. I had now only lingeries on laying almost in a faint, my muscles weren't able to move anymore, I was totally exhausted. He raped me right there...I was lying there for about 30 minutes just being speechless, not moving a muscle until he stopped and walked away.

I can't tell you how long I was lying on the sofa but I reacted when I heard someone coming in through the front door. I suspected it was Bella coming back. I sat up as I felt my dried tears on my cheeks. I fixed myself real quick before she walked in. "Hi, what you doing and how's your day been?" she asked as she sat herself besides me. "Nothing has really been going on" I lied as I was ashamed of what happened. "What did you do?" I asked, wanting to change the subject. "Nothing I'm allowed to tell you" she said and walked away. I felt how I breathed out and wanted to break down. I moved up to my room and stayed there. I felt so dirty and miserable and I just couldn't believe that happened to me. I went into the bathroom to clean myself up. I was crying, not feeling in control of my emotions. Then I saw the razor in the drawer underneath the sink... I was then looking at and then the razor blaze. I grabbed it and went into the shower and cutted my arm just letting my tears escape my eyes and my emotions being out of control as I saw the blood run down my body. It only became a few scars, this was my way to scream without screaming.

After the shower I putted on an oversize long sleeve shirt and sweatpants and put myself into bed grabbing a book and started to read to get my thoughts off everything.

Bella knocked on the door but before I said anything she was already inside. "Hello darling, you wanna have some fun," she said. It made me happy to see her and sure I wanted to "have fun" but not now, NOT NOW when I had scars over my arms and my pussy probably would expose what happened to me. "No thank you, not now" I said and smiled at her. "Come on darling, just you and me" she said walking towards me and was about to undress me until I immediately stopped her. "I said no" my voice was unstable as I felt an uncomfort. She looked a little confused "Are you okay darling?" I looked down at the bed swallowing, trying not to let a tear out. "Yes I'm just tired" I got out and it sounded quite normal. "Alright" she said and walked out of my room.

The rest of the week I most likely stayed in my room feeling miserable and I was screaming a lot, not the usual scream, my way with the razer. Draco thought I was hanging out with Bella while Bella thought I was hanging out with Draco. So no one really came visiting me, which I enjoyed as I had to be alone but I just wish someone knew and understood and someone I could talk to.

Autors note: Okay let me tell you, this chapter wasn't my favorite lmao, anyways I've never said Thank you to all the comments! Ya'll make me so happy for real hahah :D and tyy for reading