Crystal's Heart

XXI. They're back

Crystal's POV:

My therapist used to tell me that my emotional burst - how I lash out - is a way to protect myself.

The more I lash out, the more I push people away, the less likely I'll get hurt.

In short, I'm the type of person who wears her heart on her sleeves.

But what the fuck does she know?

The woman takes SSRIs to make sure she doesn't fall into depression and kill herself.

If she can't solve her own issues, what makes her qualified to solve mine?

I pushed my nail further into my palm until it drew blood and smiled before I ran to Hailey for a tight hug. I asked her about anything and everything, just to fill in the empty silence.

The more I talked, the less painful it felt.

My eyes flicker towards the exit where Ricardo left.

When I turned my sight back, I noticed how Josh looked, and it's not pleasant. Unlike me, Josh can't seem to hide his uneasiness. It's probably due to a combination of hormones and family stress. But he won't let that get the best of him.

Maybe he should.

Maybe he should've punched Ricardo in the face.

"What?" Josh asked me.

I smiled, "Nothing," I said sweetly before I rested my head against Hailey's shoulder.

When Hailey looked away, I smiled at Josh. He chuckled without amusement before he gave me the bird. I didn't stop my smile. Instead, I mouthed: "They're fucking," which got Josh's face turning red.

Ahmend, from the sideline, snickered. When Josh glared at him, he cleared his throat before he asked Hailey a question about whatever it was she was talking about. When it got late, and Ahmend excused himself, I did too. I didn't crash and fall because why should I?

I'm pretty and rich.

Who the fuck cares about others?

It's all about me.

I'm Crystal, the main character, and everyone else is simply living in my world.

"Excuse me-"

I turned towards the voice, "What?"

"Um- we wanted to know if maybe we can press our floor?" the girl giggled anxiously.

I stared at them.

"You know what?" her friend said, "I forgot something on this floor, so we'll step out. No need to press anything." She grabbed her friend's arm and dragged her out of the elevator doors. When the door closed, my sight flickered towards the changing numbers.

I crossed my arms and inhaled a sharp breath that pierced through my lungs. My lower lip curled inward, and I couldn't help but nibble against it, left to right and right to left until the blood sank into my throat. The elevator doors spread open, and the loud chattering came to a complete stop. One by one, each person moved out of the way as if I were some fragile cursed doll.

When I entered my bedroom, life returned in the hallway. The door closed behind me, and I walked to the bathroom. I allowed my body to enter a routine, and I turned on the water before I grabbed a fresh set of clothes from the closet. My eyes leap towards the neatly folded clothes inside the small handwoven basket. I pushed the thought away and made my way into the bathroom. After a long day, I deserve a nice, quiet shower to clear my head.

It didn't work.

The tears streamed down, and soon, I found myself curled inward on the floor.

When my senses returned, my fingers were wrinkled.