mr. yang's maid . hyunin

i am sorry

hello, mary here! i have to say something. i'd like you to read it :) this something is my whole wattpad journey.

i joined wattpad in 2018 as an army. i've read jungkook fanfictions and suddenly had an idea.

"what if i make my own fanfictions? would i be able to make something like those? can i have some sort of popularity if i did?"

and my writing started! started with a cliché plot, childhood best friend. a jungkook fanfiction. as someone who barely had a following and no writing experience, it didn't do well and barely had reads. it only reached.. i'd say less than a hundred and i was the only one who voted the chapters.

it didn't go well so i made a new one. notes, a jimin fanfiction. it didn't do well either so i dropped both books. but... i thought of a new one.

tsundere boy, a suga fanfiction. much to my disappointment, it didn't go well either. i hated it. i craved for the HUGE following and A LOT of reads and votes back then. i tried to make so many plots but i still FAILED.

that until i made notice me, a taehyung fanfiction. the best one out of all the ones i made before. in reached around 200 reads but i soon made into a taekook fanfiction because, well, i got to know the bts ships. i soon made more taekook fanfictions like ceo jeon and wannabe singer that didn't do well like notice me.

however, i stanned stray kids. i was struck by their music and talented members, and a certain ship. you probably guessed it, hyunin. i checked on wattpad thinking: "do they have hyunin fanfictions? i want to read them!" but no.

sure, there were quite a lot but.. not a lot of great hyunin fanfictions to be honest. and most had a the same plot. then my mind thought again:

"i should do something! these readers need good books!"

with that i thought of six plots. i decided two that i should publish. old friend and famous! because i got to meet way more stay friends, i had over 50-ish followers and way more reads. old friend started to have twice the reads notice me had. it grew and grew i was so happy!

because of it i started a second one, famous. which overtime got larger than old friend and became my most successful fanfiction yet.

then i thought of making a third one called you're pretty, a non-hyunin book. changlix. it was more of a test fanfic because of the different writing style, i didn't like that book.

i started racing into the night for fun so it got the least reads but didn't mind, i had a lot of people who followed me for my content and i was happy and learned that i shouldn't be so greedy for numbers. taught myself that as long as just that it wasn't just me who was reading my story, i was fine.

getting to write for people was fun because i made them laugh, smile, gave them something decent to read. i really wasn't expecting to be a write. though, this life as a writer went falling.

the pandemic started and it only got worse for me. i first dealt with being upset with myself way back in fourth grade and it was self-hate. it then got to crying almost every single day and soon to just me sleeping late and crying myself to sleep. it,,

it got so bad to the point i almost barely sleep and self-harm. that's 2020. writing and this state wasn't the best. i already knew my days as a writer would end. mid2020 is legit i thought my writer life would be the end but still continue writing even though it's not something i should do.

but it was for my readers, the people who enjoyed what i created, why should i stop it just because i feel sad? just because i'm not content with myself? that's so selfish of me.

even if they said "we'll wait for you. take your time to rest." while i take breaks is sickening. i felt like i was givng them— YOU false hope.

this recent break made me realize that i couldn't write. it didn't make me happy. the feeling of forcing myself to write something that i can't do anymore, the feeling if sadness everyday, and just the spark of writing was just GONE.

so here i say it, i wouldn't be continuing mr. yang's maid.

this writing life of mine in wattpad has ended.

i still support stray kids, i love them my whole heart and i wouldn't abandon them. the people i met here too, i also won't forget them. there were so many nice people here and readers that i became friends here!

and i won't unpublish any books either. they'll still be up. i also won't leave wattpad entirely. i'm still here.

only as an ordinary reader like before! i also do hope people would still be willing to be understanding about why i quit writing.

i am very sorry who is expecting an update, i do love you all. i really do. thank you so much for supporting and reading my books. i appreciate it a lot <3

yeah, this is mary here! might be the last time saying that in a book, but we never know. i love you guys so much <33