Musings

9(b). Acceptance.

Unfortunately for her, there was a boy.

Every aspect of him fascinated her. She watched him - how he held himself, without a care in the world, how he interacted and how he was pretty intellectual.

He used to be invisible to her - just another quiet soul. Then they started talking. Slowly, unknowingly, Alessia did the unthinkable - she let down her walls. And slowly, subconsciously, the light began to pour in.

Her biggest mistake.

She should have known better. When society can't even be friends usually, how could she hope for a miracle and imagine that he would accept her and her violent soul?

If she wanted to be his friend, she'd have to tell him about herself. All her facets. Uncensored. And then, she'd see if he ran away. If he didn't, he would be a capable friend.

She battled with herself. Honesty or company?

She chose honesty.

The universe rewards the brave.

The euphoria she felt. It was so powerful. It was like someone had given her a second chance at unbridled happiness. She didn't think. She didn't think at all. He rebutted every single thing she said about herself.

He told her to stop reading the "depressing shit" she read and live a little.
He told her that he would be there for her to talk to.
He honestly, truly cared.
Or so she felt.

It was scary, how she never gave up on him.

It was so fascinating to talk to someone who was very different, yet so much the same. All at once, she felt that he couldn't be him. But he, apparently, was.

She had rediscovered a soul who truly cared. Or so she thought. Usually.

He was beautiful. He was honest. He was real.

But real people have real thoughts and real feelings and have their own confusion.
They have their own storms, their own demons and their own battles.

He was a kind soul. He truly was. That's why she chose:

To hope again.
To care again.
To trust again.

She felt safe with him.
She felt loved.
She felt needed.
In a different way.

He was Aaron.

Reality laughed. He said to Alessia,

"You won't ever learn will you? You won't even try. You won't even listen to your rationale. Your Reality. I've kept you safe. I haven't asked for much. Except acceptance. But go. Do what you want. Just know that I will always be here for you to come spiraling back to. And I will always remind you:

Never to hope.
Never to care.
Never to trust.

Listen to your Nature. See where she gets you."

She was frustrated. For feeling things. She often wished for permanent indifference.

She was also intrigued.

She smiled.

Nature was a treacherous thing.