This is a series of one shots based on Pixelberry's Open Heart, featuring Dr. Ethan Ramsey and Dr. Cassie Valentine. The stories follow canon to a certain extent but diverge after book 1. In this AU, there is no trip to the Amazon and no need for a...
Summary: Ethan's having doubts about inviting Cassie to join him for a conference in Miami. Set during book 1, chapter 10 while Ethan's waiting at airport.
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The words on the page swam before his eyes, not that he was paying attention. He hadn't turned the page once in the half hour since he sat down.
Per habit, he had arrived at Boston's Logan airport two hours before his flight in case there was traffic or a delay in the security line. That early in the morning, there had been neither, but he didn't like leaving things to chance. He had certainly travelled enough to know how best to breeze through the TSA checks and security scanners — boarding pass and ID on the ready, jacket, shoes, belt, phone and wristwatch in the tray.
Once through, he'd grabbed coffee from a cart near the gate and settled down with a biography of Edward Jenner to pass the time until they called his flight or Cassie arrived.
He wasn't sure he was ready for either scenario.
What had made him think it was a good idea to invite her on this trip? The woman who had been driving him to distraction from the first moment they met for two days and nights away at a medical convention where drinks flowed free, and inhibitions came down away from the confines of the hospital?
He could have handled Declan Nash by himself. It would have been challenging to not knock him on his supercilious ass again, but he could have done it for Naveen. All the excuses he gave Harper about giving the number one intern a learning opportunity were just that — excuses. Cassie's calm presence settled his restlessness in a way that nothing else ever had before.
He needed her, but he was afraid he wanted her more. And that was a line he couldn't cross; had never crossed before nor wanted to with any intern or resident under him. But with her, he wanted to break the rules, take the risk, and just not be Dr. Ramsey. With her, he wanted to be Ethan; a man who had flaws and insecurities, and no responsibility to anyone but the person he wanted to share himself with.
What happened to him when he was a child had soured him on marriage and the possibility of a long-lasting relationship. But with her, he could see a different future. One where anything was possible — weekend brunches, family vacations, laughing in the middle of the night for no reason other than because they were happy. He didn't want solitude.
Ethan knew that Naveen was worried about him, maybe more so now that he was slowly dying from an unknown infection. Naveen had spent his life dedicated to medicine, missing out on having a family of his own, and didn't want the same fate for Ethan. They had had a lot of time to talk about things while Naveen was hooked up to the dialysis machine three times a week.
"Are we on this again?" Ethan asked, exasperated because this wasn't the first time Naveen had brought up the subject of love in the last few weeks.
Between Naveen and Alan, Ethan was tired of having to justify why he was still single at 36. It's not like he hadn't had relationships, some more serious than others. But none of them had held his attention longer than the mysteries of medicine or his patients.
"I don't mean to pry, Ethan, but you're more testy than usual whenever I bring up this topic," said Naveen.
"I'm not," Ethan protested. "I just don't understand why you and my father are suddenly so interested in my personal life."
"Because I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did, my friend. Family is a precious gift." Naveen adjusted himself on the hospital bed, trying to find a comfortable spot as they were only halfway through the four-hour treatment.
"Need some lotion?" Ethan asked when Naveen winced as his hand touched the button to raise the back of the bed.
"My hands feel like paper and I'm afraid of giving myself a paper cut," Naveen chuckled at the joke, holding out his hand as Ethan poured the hand lotion that he'd brought in a few days ago. He knew from experience with previous patients that dry skin was a common side effect of dialysis and had wanted to be prepared.
"Better?" Ethan asked after a few minutes.
"Yes, but this fragrance is familiar," Naveen's eyebrows bunched together as he worked through the puzzle. "Ah yes! It smells like that intern who has accompanied you a couple of times. What was her name? Valentine."
Ethan froze as Naveen put two and two together.
"Yes, Dr. Cassie Valentine." Ethan's voice was soft as he turned away before Naveen could read what must be clearly written on his face whenever her name came up.
He hadn't meant to buy pink grapefruit scented lotion, but he'd been drawn to it from the moment he entered the shop. It was a scent that was stamped on his soul and would forever be something that he associated with her; only her.
He smelled her before he saw her. She was rushing toward him, slightly out of breath and an apology on her lips as she got closer. He sighed as he put away his book and uncrossed his legs, mentally reminding himself that she was an intern, and he was her boss. Nothing about their relationship was okay until that distinction existed.
"Five more seconds and I'd have boarded without you," he said, trying to keep his voice levelled. Like Dr. Ramsey and not Ethan.
"No, you wouldn't." And then she smiled, and he was sunk. "I think you're all talk, Dr. Ramsey."
He couldn't help the chuckle that broke through. "Oh, for god's sake. Let's board already."
As he followed her down the gangway, he wondered once again...was he ready for whatever this was? He was very much afraid that it was out of his control.
