Open Heart One Shots (Choices)

Reflections and Renewals

Summary: Cassie's temper flares up as the first anniversary of the poison attack approaches, but she soon learns the value of second chances.

A/N: References book 2's poison attack and minor character deaths; grief, PTSD

Part 1: The Shadows

Cassie Valentine could feel her head pounding and her heart rate accelerating the closer she got to Edenbrook. It was like a monster waiting in the shadows to burst out and devour its victim.

She walked around to the staff entrance, took the elevator to her floor, and swiped the access card to enter the locker room. Her breathing was ragged, and she forced herself to even it out.

Cassie thought she'd come a long way from the survivor's guilt she'd felt last year. Therapy helped her overcome the trauma, but if she was honest, the anger never entirely disappeared. This week had been the worst, with the anniversary of the poison attack coming up.

She'd heard her friends whispering and knew they were worried about her. Her shouting match with Jackie over dirty dishes left in the sink hadn't been her finest moment. Neither had the spiteful words she'd exchanged with Elijah over some stupid video game.

Cassie knew she was being a bitch as it happened, but she couldn't stop herself. Even Sienna had glanced at her with something resembling shock. Cassie couldn't stand it anymore. She had packed up an overnight bag and went to spend the night at Ethan's.

"Did you get a bug bite?"

Sienna's voice and light tap on the shoulder broke through her thoughts. Cassie realized she'd been standing in front of her open locker, staring unseeing inside as she scratched at her arms. The skin on her forearm was turning red, the whiteness of the scratches from her nails standing out.

"Cassie, are you alright?" Sienna asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," Cassie told her, rolling her sleeves down and shrugging on her white coat. "Really, Si." She insisted when Sienna didn't look convinced.

"I don't know, Cassie." Sienna began slowly, frowning slightly. "Even when you're next to me, it feels like you're miles away."

Cassie tamped down her frustration. "Just leave it, please." She slammed her locker shut and marched out the door to start her shift.

She had to remind herself that she wasn't the only one affected last year. Sienna had lost someone who could've been the love of her life. Bobby would never see his children graduate college. Cassie had felt Rafael's life practically slip through her fingers.

While she had physically recovered faster, it had taken Raf months of physical therapy just to walk without a cane. He would never be that paramedic who rushed into a collapsing tunnel to rescue others or ran into a burning building to save a pregnant woman.

If it hadn't been for the teams from Mass Kenmore and Edenbrook working together, neither of them would be here today. She needed to remember that and be grateful for the second chance she'd been given.

But a small voice, the one that had almost convinced her to give up last year, resurfaced. And she could feel herself falling into an abyss of despair.

The Diagnostics Team didn't have a case today, so Cassie picked up her assigned patients from Ines, responding to her cheeriness with monosyllabic answers.

She went about her work, feeling detached, unable to find her characteristic optimism. Usually, she loved talking to patients and learning about their lives. Today, she just wanted to get it over with.

It wasn't until she stopped at the nurses' station to check on lab results that she completely lost it. The path lab had messed up not one but two blood samples and wanted new ones. Both from patients that had given her grief about needles.