antebellum [t. riddle]

xlix.

january 1945

"how was your christmas?"

"you'd know if you bothered to write us back."

perfect.

the six friends sat at the welcoming feast upon nott, rosier, malfoy, and lestrange's return to the school. she had not been there to greet them upon arrival. in fact, she had not left her room today until the designated time for the feast. when she arrived at the great hall, all of them were already there, talking in hushed tones. before she could even think to run, nott had seen her in the doorway, and waved her over. the slow trudge toward them felt like she was walking the plank on a pirate ship. as if fate (or the five of them, rather) would have it, malfoy and riddle slid apart when she arrived, insisting that she sit between the two. she recognized it for what it was; an intimidation tactic, specifically meant to make her uncomfortable. despite it, they exchanged cordial greetings; they smiled, kissed her hand, and told her they had missed her. it faded into awkward silence after that. they weren't talking, but it was abundantly clear that none of them were listening to dippet's speech. even when it was over, there was no conversation between the group. they ate in silence, though sicaria's stomach was in too many knots to even attempt to eat anything. she started to fidget slightly. it came to a point where the tension was boiling too violently for sicaria, and she needed to break the silence. the intensity with which malfoy responded seemed to erupt out of him suddenly, like a volcano that had long been dormant.

this would be the last dinner they ate together; she'd make certain of it.

"i did."

"once."

"you're angry with me," she said blankly. it wasn't quite a question. she had been so worked up about their reaction to her confession that she'd forgotten that they'd be an explanation from her. she had planned to let tom have the burden to bear.

she was not expecting the open hostility.

"clearly," malfoy said, forcing her to meet his eyes. "the last time we saw you, you were running, saying your life was in danger, and then you dueled us, and then you and riddle fucking disappeared."

"and then almost six fucking hours go by before we hear from you, telling us that riddle was going to stay in new york, or wherever you actually went-" rosier accused from across the table.

"i was in new york," she said.

"at least that one isn't a lie." he scathed. none of the others intervened in the tirade. hurt simmered beneath the surface, but she knew she deserved it. she made sure not to let anything show on her face.

"what do you want from me?" she asked carefully.

"to fucking explain yourself!" he borderline yelled. he looked angry rather than confused because he knew she was being purposefully ignorant. she was stalling. "you swore we'd get an explanation, edwards. i'm all ears."

she opened her mouth for a moment and then closed it, not knowing how to frame this. they looked at her expectantly.

"and here you are, acting like you don't fucking care."

she almost denied it, but closed her lips just before she could let anything slip out. all the planning she had done for how she wanted this situation to go had vanished from her find, leaving her floundering trying to stay afloat.

lestrange's eyes flashed toward riddle. "what happened?"

sicaria shook her head. "i don't think-"

"sicaria, what happened?"

she turned to riddle.

"you haven't told them yet." it was not a question.