Wouldn't Dream Of It

Chapter 38

Something was really wrong. Even in his half-asleep morning daze, Charlie knew something was different with Jason. The man wouldn't look at him and he didn't smile like usually did, like Charlie was his whole world, no, his smile barely reached his eyes. Now that he thought about it, Jason had been kind of distant ever since they came back from their New York trip almost two days ago. Charlie wondered what went wrong that had him acting like that. 

"Jason?", he carefully asked, "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine", he lowered his head, "Baby I-'

"You sure? Cause it doesn't sound that way"

"I said I'm fine, Charlie, just let it go"

Charlie flinched away from him at his tone. Oof alright, someone's in a bad mood.

"Alright, I'll see you for lunch I guess", Charlie spoke the words in a hostile tone. Sure, they've had fights before but most of them had been about silly stuff like getting jealous of people flirting with each other or something much sillier. It had never been like this before. It was like Jason, the Jason he knew had completely shut down.

Jason didn't even fucking look at him, "I can't come today"

His eyes never met Charlie's, they were either trained on the wall behind him, or even the floor. But never on him.

Charlie was a patient man but this was starting to piss him off.

"Fucking look at me", he snapped and Jason's gaze wrenched up to his. His eyes were emotionless, plain, as he said, "I'll take you home, come on"

What the fuck was up his ass?

A part of him was terrified that he had somehow figured out Charlie was in love with him, it wasn't like he had been actually hiding it. When they had started hooking up, they hadn't made rules on what was allowed but Charlie was pretty sure the first rule to being fuck buddies was to not catch feelings.

Welp.

He didn't want to fight right now, so he got up from the bed and followed Jason downstairs. He was tired.

They were in the garage when Jason finally looked at him, really looked at him and Charlie did not like the look on his face. It was like he had the weight of the whole world on his shoulder and had just- given up.

"This can't happen anymore", were the first words out of Jason's mouth and Charlie flinched hard. His mouth dropped open.

"What"

"This, us, the sex, it can't happen again", Jason exhaled out the sentence in a single long breath, "We had our fun, but it's time to end it"

Fun. That's all it had been to him. While Charlie was here thinking he had found something special something he wanted to have forever and it had just been fun for Jason. Charlie wasn't an idiot, he knew what was happening and as much as he wanted to beg and stop it, it was going to happen anyway.

"You're breaking up with me", Charlie stated, his voice blank.

Jason, being the cruel bastard he is, let out a dry laugh, "Breaking up? Charlie we were never together"

The words were like a knife to his heart. But they were true, they never were together and Charlie, stupid Charlie had to go and fall in love with someone who was never going to be his.

"Why are you doing this, Jason, you know it wasn't just sex", he was getting desperate now, pathetic but he couldn't stop, "You felt something for me, fucking admit it"

But Jason, he had to go in and dig the knife deeper, "Charlie come on, be real here, have I ever said anything that indicated I wanted to be with you? The sex was fucking hot, but there was nothing more to it", his voice took on a more desperate tone, "There can't be anything more to it"

And Charlie, he had nothing else to lose, he had already lost the most precious thing he had thought was his.

"I love you", there were no firecrackers or dramatic gasps at the admission, just Jason's smooth voice, the voice that used to send shivers of pleasure down his spine, now hurting him.

Jason's eyes widened, lips parting in surprise before his face took on a pained expression, "I-You can't, Jesus, we can't"

One sentence, just one simple sentence that broke every single thing in him. He knew there were tears in his eyes but he didn't fucking care, not anymore, not when his heart was being ripped out of his chest.

"You're a fucking coward Jason", he met his eyes, determined, "You felt something for me, but you're too much of a coward to actually get what you want. And you know what?", he gritted out through the tears threatening to choke him, "I'm fucking done too, done with all this crap, done with the fake affection. Fuck you"

If Charlie had taken a moment to even consider what Jason must've been going through, maybe his anger would've been more subdued. But right then, hearing the words coming out of Jason's mouth- hurt was the only thing Charlie felt.

He didn't mean the words, not a single one of them, because even after all of this, Charlie was still hopelessly in love with him. But he wanted Jason to hurt, hurt like he was hurting right now and Charlie knew his words had hit their mark when Jason flinched, his jaw setting tight. But Charlie wasn't finished.

"You're trying to live up to his dreams, but I know he'd want you to be happy", they both knew who he was.

"Don't fucking talk about him! You don't know shit"

Charlie unbelievably found that he could smile, "But it's the truth and you know it"

Jason cursed as he looked at him eyes softening for a fraction, hands reaching out, "Char, fuck i didn't mean for this", he looked conflicted, anguished, "I'm sorry"

So was he.

Charlie shook his head in disbelief. They were broken up. This was it.

He left and maybe a part of him, the part of him that loved Jason left with him too because by the time he reached home, he was numb.

Would it be too dramatic if I say I cried while writing this, because ouch. I hope you liked it, because the next update will be up early! Thank you ilysm