Wouldn't Dream Of It

Chapter 39

He didn't slam the door behind him, just walked to his room like a ghost, he was physically there but mentally, he was just done. Charlie tossed his clothes in the hamper leaving him in his sweats.

He broke up with me

What did I do wrong?

Why am I not enough?

Why am I never enough?

He hated himself and the thoughts in his head but he couldn't stop. It wasn't just the break up that was affecting him, it was his already messed up mental health that was adding to it. It was his anxiety that added to it.

Charlie simply laughed when he spotted the mechanical pencil and twirled it around his fingers. Heart break wasn't worth hurting himself over, he wasn't worth hurting himself over so he tossed the pencil out of his window with as much force as he could muster because fuck it, nothing was worth it anymore.

It was kind of funny to him, knowing he self harmed for the stupidest reasons but couldn't bring himself to do it when his heart was literally breaking. It was also really weird.

He felt liquid on his cheeks and only when he touched it did he realize that he was crying. The knowledge broke a dam in him. He cried.

He cried for the empty promises Jason had made him.

He cried for the lies of forever

And above them all, he cried for how naïve he had been, thinking Jason was different and that he wouldn't hurt him.

But like everything else, it was too fucking late.

"Charlie? Jesus are you alright", the words were gasped out by a voice that was so similar to his own. Charlie sighed tearily, annoyed with himself for forgetting to close the door.

Harley was standing near the door, his eyes wide.

Charlie choked out a ragged sob and frantically shook his head because no, he was not okay and he needed his brother. Harley didn't need any more words to grab him and pull him into a tight hug.

"Shh it's okay"

And coming from Harley, maybe it was true. Maybe it really was okay, maybe he could go every day without touching Jason, hugging him. But who was he kidding? In the past few months, getting to know Jason had been the highlight of his life. And it sucked, knowing he won't get to do that anymore.

Charlie knew he would get over it, it would probably take years but he would get over Jason but even then, he wouldn't be able to let go completely.

By the time Charlie had calmed down, his brother's shirt was completely soaked with tears and snot but he seemed unfazed.

"We're gonna go get some ice cream and you're gonna tell me what the fuck happened"

Charlie just nodded and let his brother lead him to the living room and prop him on the couch. Charlie tried not to think about Harley and Liam having sex on there cause yuck.

Harley waved his fork at him, "Well tell me"

"Jason broke up with me", he snickered, it sounded foreign and dry to his own ears, "Wait wait lemme quote, "We were never together""

"Jesus charls, I'm sorry"

"I love him, you know and I thought he loved me too", Charlie dug forcefully into his ice cream, "But nope, it was all a fucking fantasy"

Harley shrugged, "I've never seen him look at another person the way he looks at you. I thought he loved you"

"Pfft so did I, but nope, stupid naïve Charlie"

"You're not stupid, shut up"

"What make you think you're stupid?", it was his dad, standing against the kitchen counter, looking at them thoughtfully.

Charlie just rolled his eyes and found that it actually hurt, huh that was new.

"Because daddy, if I hadn't been stupid, I wouldn't have fallen in love with him and he wouldn't have broken my heart"

Andrew sighed, giving him a solemn smile, "Falling in love with someone doesn't make you stupid, Charlie, it makes you the exact opposite of that"

"But he doesn't love me, what the fuck am I supposed to do now"

"Language", he huffed, "What do you want to do, kid?"

Charlie thought about it for a second, "I don't want to let him go, I feel like we can work it out. I know him dad, he wouldn't just break up with me out of the blue"

"You know why your love is worth it?"

"Why"

His dad smiled at him, "Because you're not giving up, you want to fight for him, that makes you strong"

Harley suddenly huffed out an impressed laugh, "Damn dad, who would've thought you knew so much about relationships?"

Their dad cringed, "Yeah I learnt a lot after messing up with your dad"

That reminded him. Charlie looked at his brother, "I'm sorry for shouting at you for being with Liam, I'm glad he makes you happy"

"We shouldn't have hidden it from you. I loved you both and was terrified you wouldn't be okay with us"

Charlie's eyes widened, "You love him?"

Harley gave him a wistful smile, "So much"

"You could've told me, you know", Charlie said lightly, a teasing pout on his lips.

His brother raised his eyebrow at him, "Seriously?"

Charlie chuckled, "Yeah I get where you're coming from, It's okay. You deserve to be happy, both of you"

Harley hugged him with one arm, "I love you"

"I love you too, little man, I love you too", he held onto his brother. He could do this, he was in love with Jason Pierce and he wasn't going to give up, he was going to fight for them.

Hope you liked it! I enjoy reading comments so don't forget to drop some. I love you.