I'll always sing for you

Chapter 12 His Secret

I felt stupid, scared, jittery, but Ricky was there, so that made it all seem better somehow.

He helped me into the shop, where he found us a more private booth by a window. He sat across from me, but only for a moment.

"Are you okay if I grab some coffees?" He asked, staring into my eyes with a strange intentisty, as if he worried when he left, I'd fall apart. Well, maybe I would. I tried to smile, then grimaced instead, but I managed a nod.

"I'm fine." I said, my voice slightly raspy. He nodded, still looking concerned, as he stood up.

While he was ordering, he checked on me every five seconds like an over protective mother. I didn't mind one bit, though. In fact, the thought that he cared filled me with unwelcome warmth. Unwelcome, because my feelings were completely wrong in the first place.

I wanted to smile back in-order to reassure him that I was indeed fine, but I kind of wasn't, and I couldn't smile.

He just continued to watch me, until he was handed two steaming cups of coffee. Normally I liked frappes, but I definitely needed something warm this time. I was glad he'd thought this to. Despite the intense heat of the atmosphere, I was still shaking like it was a Moab winter.

"What happened, Lauren?" Ricky asked me as he gave me my drink slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. His gaze was warm and still intense, but also kind and ... Caring. I turned my eyes to my steaming cup, which I grapsed tightly in my hands.

I gulped, and shrugged. "Nothing. I just came here, and that guy st- started hitting on me. I t- told him to leave me alone, but he followed me outside..." I nearly started crying again, but I held it back. How foolish I felt. How utterly idiotic.

To have Ricky here, seeing me like this... So weak.

Ricky grabbed my hand, and squeezed. "Do you want to file a police report?"

I shook my head quickly. "No, no I just... I want to forget. I want to forget everything."

"I think you should." A firm look came into his eyes.

"Please, Ricky. What would they do? He didn't actually do anything, other than scare me, and hold me there for a minute. The best I could do is get a restraining order."

Ricky sighed, looking like he was far from ready to drop this, but he didn't say anything else.

He took a sip of his coffee.

"Lauren, what else is going on?"

"What?"

"You're here in the middle of the day, alone, with a puffy face and sweat pants... You always are so put together... no offence because you still look um..." He cleared his throat, the slightest of blushes appearing on his cheeks.

I stared at my hands, moving one finger over the rim of my coffee cup over and over.

I didn't want to tell him. Not because I didn't want him to pity me, but because I didn't want there to be anything so broken within this friendship. I wanted us to talk about shallow, normal things. I wanted him to see me as being whole. It may be silly, but that's where I was.

"I got bored." I lied shakily, not sounding as convincing as I wished. "I went for a walk. I didn't think to change out of my sweats. Guess it wouldn't have mattered. That guy still..." I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

He nodded slowly, grabbing my hand again and giving it a squeeze. "If you want to talk to me at all, you know you can."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, of course." I forced a smile. "So why were you here? Stalking me?" I joked.