We'll meet again-phan

Prolgue-Phil's Pov

You don't know how much you love someone until you lose them, that's what that experience taught me. Phil Howell is the name, famous singer. I'm happy, with a wonderful little family. Just me and my daughter, and my husband....he's not with me. I try to keep a positive and happy vibe on with my family and fans, though it's hard sometimes. Well, anyways, here I am hiding in the bathroom hyperventilating. About to go on stage and yet, my feet are frozen to the ground. God, I'll ruin my makeup if I keep crying and I'm pretty sure it isn't waterproof! My daughter outside, waiting to see her papa sing on stage and put on a show. I take off my heels to rub my aching feet and try to breath and then a knock on the stall door "o...o...occupied!" I recognised the voice that came from the other end of the stall. The calm, angelic accent I love "Phil? Let me in" I hesitantly let him in and in runs Dan, quickly closing the door and embracing me in his arms. My hands get lost in his soft clothing, better feel than sequins I'll tell you that "hey, hey, hey. Breath, ok? Breath" he takes my shaking hands and does breathing exercises with me. He's used to my sudden panic attacks, I have them more often than one would think but according to Dan and I quote: 'it doesn't stop me from helping you, as many times as you need' and he's definitely used to me having a out of the blue panic attack right before a performance, there have been several occasions where we had to cancel because I couldn't make it to the stage without fainting or just couldn't do it "breath, Phil. Your ok, focus on me" I do as he asks, examining my husband's beautiful features. His gorgeous brown curls mix beautifully with his chocolate brown eyes, a dimple always forms in his cheek when he smiles and his smile instantly lights up the world. Dan does the, as I like to call it, the 'senses exercise' where he asks me what I can feel and see and hear so I know where I am and don't freak out again. We spend a good 10 minutes doing exercises "there we go, your alright. Now, tell me what's wrong?" I'm about to answer when I hear the announcer through the bathroom door announcing the artist before me and my mind started racing again "I can't do it! I can't go out there!" Dan has told me on several occasions that he doesn't think singing is the job for me, and sometimes I agree. But I love singing, it's my passion! I adore singing and god, I don't want to do what Dan does! Dan is a business man, luckily gets lots of free time. His jobs so boring in my opinion but he seems to like it "ok, alright look at me. Do you really think you can't do it?" I nod frantically, letting the tears ruin my makeup and steam down my cheeks "I'm going to be fired! This is the 12th time we had to cancel because of me!" Dan hugs me tightly again and rocks me backwards and forth, shushing me to relax me. He's been doing this ever since we started dating, he's amazing when it comes to my panic attacks "I won't let that happen, ok? C'mon let's go home"

Dan puts my heels back on my feet like Cinderella and helps my shaking body stand up, clasping my hand protectively. The heels made me slightly taller than Dan than usual, which usually gives me a confidence boost. Dan goes to talk to the announcer while I go to see my family "oh, Phil. Another panic attack?" I nod as Louise hugs me tightly, I heard my manager yelling at Dan but Louise stopped me from looking and told me not to focus on that. Louise has been my friend since we were kids and was also amazing with my panic attacks, just not as good as Dan. I crouch down to meet Jocelyn's eyes and hug her "I'm sorry Joce, I know you were looking forward to it" I focus on hugging my 5 years old daughter instead of what my manager was yelling at Dan "you can't fire him! He can't help his panic attacks!" Louise groans in annoyance at the scene and sits in the booth next to Jocie "I swear your manager is a monster" Jocie chuckles at this, so do I trying my best to focus on other things "well, maybe you husband shouldn't be a singer then!" Jocie must of noticed I was getting agitated, such a smart little girl and she presented her doll to me "pappie, meet Lucy Howell! She had a broken foot but I fixed it, see?" She pointed to the rainbow plaster that she wrapped around the dolls foot and beamed at me. I shook the dolls small hand playing along "nice to meet you, Lucy. When did she become part of the Howells?" Jocie giggled and explained how Dan brought her the doll yesterday because she had a bad school day "he loves singing, it's his passion! You just have to be patient with him!" I swear I have to get out of here, before another panic attack comes along. I kiss Jocie's forehead and get up to go to the scene "I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again" Dan looks at me and whispers that he's got it, taking my hand and squeezing it tightly "your damn right it won't happen again because your fired!" I saw Dan was all too ready to beat him up so I apologise again and told Dan to go, us walking to Jocie and I pick her up smiling at her. Dan takes my coat and we all head to the car through the night "I have every urge in my body to waltz back in there and give him a piece of my mind!" I put Jocie in the car who had fallen asleep and I strap her in, kissing her cheek sweetly and slamming the car door "thankyou for being here Louise" I ignored Dan's incoherent rambling and pay attention to Louise "it's all ok Phil, I'm sorry you go fired" I shrug and fiddle with my ring, smiling sheepishly "it's fine, singing isn't for me. I'll find work someone else, maybe as a youtuber or something" we wave goodbye to Louise and hop in the car

"Your not serious are you?" I don't look at Dan, focusing on watching our passings and sighing "yes. How many times have I been fired? Twice! And I keep thinking I can somehow still make a living in singing" I exhale sharply, falling back in my seat and staring ahead out of the driver's window "you love singing, I've seen you up there your amazing!" I open the cabinet and search for baby wipes in the dark, once I found them I pulled out a mirror and start wiping off my makeup "it seems as if your the only one who believes in me" Dan keeps his eyes on the road, sighing and I knew a big speech was coming "Phil, you can't just give up. Everyone believes in you and supports you and you adore singing. Joce loves your singing, Louise, Martyn, Cornelia, Your fans! I love your singing! I'd hate to see you give up on something your genuinely passionate about" I continue wiping off my ruined makeup, humming when his speech was done "these panic attacks are getting worse though, hun. Maybe you should start seeing a therapist" I immediately stop what I'm doing in shock and stare at him wide eyed to which he shrugged "I'm not paying £40 to £60 just so I can be told I have bloody panic attacks" I finish taking off my makeup and put the wipes away, sighing finally being able to breath properly "therapy is really good, darling. At least try?" I rise an eyebrow at Dan, seeing his genuine smile as he drives "fine. But it'll be a waste if our money"