We'll meet again-phan

6- Dans Pov

I paced anxiously, Louise holding Jocie on her lap as they watched me pace "Dan, Dan calm down" I didn't listen and continued to pace, seeing the doctor come through the door I rush over bombarding him with questions "is he ok?! Tell me he's ok! Is he alive?! Do I need to stay with him?!" The doctor stopped me and told me to, essentially, to shut up "mr Howell, please. Your husband is fine, he's alive and stable. We sewed up the wound and he luckily didn't suffer anything fatal" I sighed with relief and asked if I could see him, in which the doctor granted permission. I raced in and wrapped my arms around Phil, crying my eyes out "don't do that to me again, dammit Phil!" He hugged me tightly, rubbing circles into my back. Jocie hopped on the bed and climbed on Phil "I'm sorry Dan, for scaring you" I continued crying and let go of Phil, sitting on the bed. Phil stroked my cheek in which I kissed his palm and held his hand on my cheek

The light of the new day shown through the blinds as I sat on the bed thinking, Phil was asleep, Joce was asleep and I didn't sleep a wink. I stayed up all night thinking, I can't go back but I have to. I can't leave Phil but I have to. I don't want to leave this family but I have to. I have 3 months to think about this, think about whether I should go back or not. I look over my shoulder to Phil sleeping, thinking back to last night. Our fight, Phil ending up in hospital, his panic attack. All this happened because I decided to go to war, I can't let it happen again. I looked down at my ring sighing "Phil?" He stirs in his sleep, murmuring some rubbish and turning to me "yes?" I get back into bed and lay my head down on my pillow "god, Dan you haven't slept have you?" Phil checks the calendar on his phone "you have a business meeting today and you haven't slept, your gonna be a zombie" I hug Phil from behind unexpectedly making him jump and I snuggled into his shoulder "Dan?" I get lost in Phil's scent, smelling the fresh smell of baked bread and honey "I'm not leaving you" Phil lies down, stroking my curls kissing my forehead "you have a business meeting, darling" I ignore him, smiling and reminiscing on fond memories. In my world, it's just me and Phil. No work, no war, no stress or panic attacks. Just us, only us

I messed around with my tie as I held the piece of toast in my mouth, getting saliva all over it. I call for Phil through the bread that came out all muffled, he stood in the doorway laughing and walking in front of me, taking out the toast "what did you say?" I smiled as he laughed and I stared into the mirror, tying the tie "I said 'make sure Joce is ready'" Phil popped the bread back in my mouth and helped me with my tie. I bit the toast slowly as I watched him "are you sure? I don't mind taking her to school" Phil intensely concentrated on my tie as I eat my breakfast, looking at him "after last night? No chance, you need rest" he told me not to speak with my mouth full and finished tying my tie, looking up at me "I'm in a good condition to take a kid to school, Dan" I finished the toast and messed with my hair in the mirror earning a look from Phil "not good enough, may I remind you that you have a stitch on the back of your head?" Phil tried to argue but couldn't think of anything to say, surrendering making me smile triumphantly "you look fine, it's only a meeting" I scoff as he leaves to go get Jocie ready. I hear her whining about not wanting to go and Phil trying to convince her. I go into her room to see Phil sitting on the floor trying to convince her to go to school, while she plays with her barbie dolls and teddies "if you go to school, we'll get you ice cream after" her eyes lit up and she immediately got up, running to go get her school bag making me laugh "your a much better parent than me" I walk up to him and snake my arm around his waist, kissing him passionately "you know that's not true" I kiss him again and go to get my keys and shoes on "have a good day" Jocie runs up to Phil, hugging him tightly making him smile and kiss her head. I peck Phil on the lips before taking Joce to school

Homophobia
I carry Jocie on my shoulders as I walk home, smiling up at her eating ice cream. She taps me on the head making me hum in response "park? Pleaseeee?" I think for a moment before agreeing and getting out my phone with one hand, struggling. I manage to do it without dropping it and text Phil letting him know our change in plan. I let her down and watch her run off, close to me. I smile as I push her on the swing, drawing my attention to a woman walking up "your daughter is adorable" I nod, smiling and pushing her "is your wife here?" I chuckle nervously, getting slightly irritated by this woman "my pappie isn't here, he's at home sick" I smile down at her, pushing her. The woman had what I can only describe as a face of disgust, at least I think it was. It was honestly hard to tell "oh your gay? What a interesting life choice" I stopped swinging Jocie and helped her off "it's not a 'life choice'. It's who I am and I've chosen to embrace it" I was getting really annoyed with her, I wanted to do something more than just calmly express the truth but I had to remind myself that there's a child present and I have to set an example. "But you know it's just a phase, right?" Jocie looks up at me with sad eyes as I tightened my grip around her small hand, standing my ground "it isn't a phase and if you don't mind, we have to get home" I picked up Jocie and placed her on my shoulders again, walking away sternly "daddy? Why did that woman say that?" I sigh, walking with her. Her red locks and my brown curls blew in the wind as I thought of what to say "sadly, baby. Not everyone is like your papa and you. There's a lot of people who don't except us" she wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing the top of my head "why?" I sighed, pondering to myself "many reasons but what matters is you love and except everyone. Don't be mean to someone if you don't want them to be mean to you" me and Phil always try teaching Jocie good life long lessons, ones that will stick with her. She nods "you and your papa are worth it"