💘 The daydreamers 💘

Pretty shit day

Those comments made me feel even more shitty with each one I read,

"mami, what are you doing up?"

"just, nothing..."

He came over to me and saw my phone,

"ma you don't need to be reading that."

"i mean, it's not far off. i'm a whore with no sense of what the hell i'm doing with my life and i'm fucking useless!"

He came over to where I was sitting and gave me a hug, I was in tears when he wrapped his arms around me.

"you're not a whore or useless, i know that for a fact..."

I just laid in his arms and he kissed my temples every so often, he picked me up and carried me in his room. He laid down with me and covered us with some blankets,

"fuckshit?"

"yeah baby?"

"why do you still care about me?"

"what do you mean by that?"

"you've fucked how many girls and ditched them but some girl you brought home from a party is different?"

"yeah, you're the first girl i've actually liked and not many girls in L.A are like you. that's why i love you babes..."

I nodded and nuzzled in the crook of his neck and he rubbed my back softly, maybe I was just over thinking things.

"ya know my birthday's coming up soon."

"really, when mamas?"

"halloween."

"no way."

"yep, i'm the spawn of satan."

"i wouldn't say that but that is a pretty dope birthday. estee has some halloween party planned like every year so i was thinking we could go."

"i don't even know if i'm gonna go, ya know with angela and shit?"

"come on ma, estee came and saw you in the hospital the day after you got stabbed. she ditched angela to see you."

"really?"

"yeah, i didn't even know y'all were chill."

"she was the first person i told about me and my parents, that day when i met you guys my friend kicked me out and i just saw a kickback and said fuck it."

"who would've thought that all it took was a friend to kick you out to meet the sexiest n**** in L.A."

"yes dipshit i met you and now we have to deal with each other's bullshit, and actually i was gonna go to the shop anyways to get some new trucks the next day."

"how'd you know where the shop was?"

"did you guys ever see a short dorky freshman walk in one day asking for some new wheels and bearings?"

"yeah, she was super shy and she hung out with us all the time until one day she ghosted us."

"well you have her back."

"what? no way man."

"surprise!"

"oh my god, that was you!"

"yeah, my mom kinda told me to stop hanging out with you guys and that's when the rebellion started."

"damn, your mom must've been pretty strict."

I nodded slowly and just laid my head on his chest, he played with my hair and I just closed my eyes.

"whatcha thinking about?"

I didn't answer, I really didn't wanna talk about it.

A couple tears fell from my face which landed on his chest, he looked over at me and just rubbed my shoulders.
More tears fell from my eyes causing them to burn, I sat up and just rubbed my eyes from the burning and he sat next to me.

He hugged me from behind and laid his head on my shoulder, kissing my neck before mumbling softly

"you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I nodded my head slowly and he just pulled me into a hug, he's really trying to help and I appreciate that about him. He wiped the tears off my face before giving me a kiss,

"what can i do to help?"

"nothing, it-its fine..."

"mamas, i don't like seeing you sad."

"my mom, even though she's dead i still miss her..."

"yeah, i feel you..."

"i just wish she could've changed, why couldn't she have fucking cared!"

More tears fell and I couldn't stop shaking, he held me tightly and let me cry in his arms. Even though my mom was pretty shitty and ruined my life, I still missed her for some reason.

*Fuckshits POV*

I knew she was hiding a lot of shit but I didn't know that it was that bad, I hate seeing her like this but I wanna help her any way I can. I pulled the blanket up to her shoulders and kept it wrapped around her, after a little bit we took couple breaths and she slowly calmed down.

I gave her kisses to try and make her happy and she smiled softly thinking that I didn't see, we both laid back and I rubbed her shoulders.

Her breath was shaky and she wasn't really herself, she turned on her side facing the wall and she mumbled softly

"i'm sorry..."

"you don't have to be sorry aris, i know it's rough right now."

I moved over to her and hugged her with her back against my chest, I wrapped my arms around her waist and she tensed up.

"shit my bad ma..."

I let go of her but she wanted me to stay so I did, she felt really cold so I pulled the blankets up to our shoulders and she turned to me before she nuzzled her head into my chest.

I kissed her temples and she mumbled into my chest

"you're really warm...."

I smiled softly and rubbed her back, she was falling asleep in my arms and I gave her a kiss before whispering

"you're safe, you're always gonna be safe with me."

I saw her smile softly and she fell asleep, her breath wasn't as shaky from before and she felt warmer. I eventually fell asleep after a bit and was asleep for a long ass time.