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"do you want to take a seat?"
evan blinked at the question, eyes watering in surprise before he nodded shyly.
charlie helped pull a chair out for the alter, resting a gentle hand on his back to direct him to the seat. the woman bent to her knees in front of him, meeting his eyes with a gentle smile.
"i'm charlie. what's your name, honey?"
"evan."
"hello, evan. is there anything i can do to make you a bit more comfortable?"
the boy shrugged, tugging his jacket tighter around his body, shivering a bit.
charlie retrieved a blanket from her couch, holding it out to the fragment, "what if i got some coloring books, and we could sit on the floor around that table and just have a conversation. how does that sound?"
that actually sounded pretty good to evan, so the boy nodded with a small smile, his first one in a few days.
evan was still in front. he still hadn't talked to anyone, but eben had been looking at him with more of a pity look than usual. evan normally didn't pay attention to the way his friends were looking at him; every time he fronted, he was met with that look so it's safe to say he was used to it. but the way eben had been looking at him was confusing, like he knew something.
aside from the blonde's odd behavior, jonah had been pushing for him to see their therapist. evan didn't really want to, he just wanted to go back home. sure mom had been calling, but he didn't have it in him to answer her calls. he couldn't and he felt even more terrible for it.
"hey, c'mon." charlie called out once she had set the table up, "you can come sit next to or in front of me, wherever you're comfortable."
evan slid onto the ground from his seat, taking the seat in front of charlie as his hands reached for the coloring utensils scattered across the table once he saw charlie do the same.
"can i ask how long you've been in front, evan?"
the boy blinked, "'dunno."
"do you remember when you fronted?"
the boy in front of charlie nodded shyly, his hands tightening around the black colored pencil trapped in his grip.
"do you want to talk about it a little? it's okay to say no, i'm here to make you comfortable, we can talk about whatever you want."
a took a moment before evan tried to speak again, trying hard to swallow back his tears, "'dunno what to talk about."
"well, what's the last thing you remember before you fronted?" charlie coaxed.
"i felt... sad, a-and panic-y. me and aug got scared, b-but then he fronted and corb came inside a-and leo and theo got him and the body was upset, 'nd then i fronted and corb won't come back out." evan mumbled
"does corbyn want to come out?"
"'dunno."
"has anyone else tried to come out?"
"'dunno."
"they're not speaking to you?"
"'m not listening."
charlie nodded slowly in realization, "when was the last time you heard from them?"
evan clenched his eyes shut at the questions, hands sliding away from the table and towards his knees which has pushed themselves up to his chest. the boy rocked himself a bit, pressing his eyes into the top of his knees, no longer interested in speaking with the woman in front of him. he was tired, and sad and cold and he just wanted to go home, he just wanted everything to be okay, but he didn't know where home was or when everything would be better. evan was sick of it.
sick of everything.
the only thing he knew and could feel was complete and overwhelming sadness.
just for once, he would like to know what it felt like to be okay, not hear it from the other alters.
the boy didn't know why he didn't want to listen to the rest of the alters anymore, he didn't want to listen to tommy or leo or even aug, the only one who might know how he's feeling.
this was his life too! he didn't think it was fair to only come out in the middle of some existential life crisis. he thought he might have a bit of time to experience and live and enjoy college life before someone figured them out and became scared of them. corbyn got to, isaac was coming out too more often than not, leo was almost out as much as theo and they were out a lot because people were mean, things were mean. heck, aug and tommy were out more than evan. aug would come out and panic, and he'd get help and everything would be fine! leo or tommy would come out to make sure no one else (brett) fronted while calming the body down, and soon corbyn was right back in control.
evan didn't like being inside all the time, he didn't ask to be here. he wanted to be able to experience everything the same way everyone else got to. he didn't want to talk to tommy and leo if it only meant he'd get locked right back inside of his own head, his own body.
it wasn't fair.
the boy didn't realize when tears began to stream down his face, or how charlie's words became lost on him and she had to resort to calling jonah to come assist the boy home. he didn't recognize the words leo was trying to soothe him with, or the gentle touches from charlie that were supposed to comfort him.
the alter blinked in surprise once jonah's sad face appeared in his line of sight, the boy's hands held out for evan to grab onto.
"c'mon bud, let's get back to our room. we can take your favorite trail on the way back."
evan sighed, pushing himself off the floor and following behind the taller brunette.
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wc. 1017
short chapter i know i know :(
but chapter! im trying to get some more pre-written chapters done/writing in general since im now on summer break but im gonna be starting work soon and my motivation levels are literally in satan's grips so
