Needing Closure [✔️]

* E L E V E N T H * * C H A P T E R *

Narrator's POV

"Oh yes, the confession to make things go away. A beautiful classic," you sarcastically said.

"That's fine if you don't want to accept that I like you, but don't be surprised when I decide to do nice gestures for you," he didn't let the comment bother him.

"Like you would actually do something nice for me," you laughed.

"I would actually. Sure I'm a crappy guy, but I want to impress you and I don't want you to see me in a negative out look."

"At least you acknowledged that you suck. I do hope that these ideas are actually your ideas and not your brothers. To be honest, if you did something amazing, I would assume it was your brother's idea," you smirked.

"I promise you, all the ideas are my ideas. I want to impress you but for that, I need to get to know you so I don't mess up," he smoothly suggested.

"It's not like I could reject this idea since it will benefit me. Okay, what do you want to know?" You agreed.

"Things you like and dislike about life, about guys, anything you want, really," he gave you ideas.

"Well I love education and it's one of the most important aspects of my life. I never slack. I frequently ask questions whenever I can. I try to stay professional as much as I can. I dislike people who talk behind my back, rather just say it to my face. I like honesty. I enjoy things to be clean and tidy. Example is my apartment. So guys in general have never liked me since the beginning, so I can't necessarily have a preference other than what I said before and them just liking me with my flaws and stuff like that," you described yourself.

"Seems like you had a pretty good life," he said with his monotone voice.

"Not really. As a kid, my life was pretty organised in the sense was that I was treated like a prodigy. I couldn't be friends with anybody since I was at least two years younger than them. They treated me like an outcast. I don't feel bad anymore since there is no point in me being clinging onto something so meaningless," you sighed.

"I agree with you. I used to not like the fact that I never had real friends. It was me and my brother only. We had each other, though at some point in university, he found his group of people. Point being that friends are overrated."

"True, though I still need to find someone who I can properly vent to without feeling bad. My sister Kaori, listen to me rant and vent out my life all the time, but at some point I felt like a burden to her, so I decided to stop bothering her on the subject of my life."

"You can vent to me if you want," he offered.

"Ha, please. You would make me feel like shit for venting about the littlest things. Plus that would involve me to be vulnerable in front of you. That is the last thing I would want," you expressively disagreed.

"I wouldn't since I know it's a simple job. You vent about your life problems, I listen and give you advice if asked. Samu also had things to complain about, so I know what I'm doing," he argued.

"Still, you barely know me so how would your be able to give me advice. We met just a few days ago," you giggled.

"I feel like it would be better, since you wouldn't feel like a burden. You don't know how much I can handle where as for you sister, you do. I give great advice, just ask my brother the next time you see him," he gave a good point.

"Okay then, let's do a quick test," you sat back up and brought the chair back to a 90 degree angle.

"Sure. I'm sure I will ace it," he was very confident in himself.

"So as you know I do ballet almost every single day because I'm part of a production team slash dance team. We do performances like Swan Lake or the Nut Cracker."

"Okay," he nodded.

"And so, since I'm a pretty good dancer, I got the chance to play one of the lead roles in the production called Gone with the Wind. It's a great opportunity that I agreed to do, but the problem is that it has been almost three months and I still haven't fixed my problem," you sighed.

"What's the problem?" He was intrigued.

"I can't show emotion when I dance. I can't convey a story whenever I do something. I can look sad, but not enough for people to be hooked. My sensei constantly tells me to watch these movies or look at performances to see if I could copy, but no matter what...I just can't do it," you teared up.

"Ugh, fuck I'm crying," you wiped your face.

"It's fine to cry. Crying is normal," he reassured you.

"Wow that was so helpful," you continued to tear up.

"It's up to you if you want to listen to what I have to say. Crying is embarrassing, believe me I know this very well," you heard his voice get serious.

"Sure you do," you kept being sarcastic.

"Imagine crying because you lost a match and this is in front of people who support you. It's fucking embarrassing."

"Anyways, your problem is pretty simple. Instead of trying to copy people's emotions, why don't you do something that could convey the emotion you are looking for? Has your teacher given you a suggestion?" He asked you.

"Yeah, but it was all that bullshit that was like 'you need a boyfriend or friends to feel this emotion'," you mocked your teacher.

"Then get a boyfriend or friends?"

"Have you not listen to what I had just said!" You yelled.

"No one fucking likes me. Everyone thinks I'm a bitch who likes to brag. They think I sleep with teachers to get good grades. They sabotage me all the time whenever I ask for their help," you cried out.

"But I confessed that I like you!"

"I know you said that just so I could forgive you," you sniffed your nose.

"Do you know how embarrassing it is to confess to someone knowing that they could say no at any moment? Knowing that they already rejected you? I confessed knowing that you would not believe, because I wanted to set the record straight. I like you and isn't going to change just because you decided to forgive me." You didn't know what to say as you were shocked.

He took a deep breath. "This is going to sound so cringe, I can feel it," you cracked a smile as you thought of the possibilities.

"But I would rather see this side of you than your other side. Maybe I'm mistaken, but it does seem like you've been bottling up these emotions. Why wouldn't you tell someone? Why not a therapist?"

"I don't know," you moped. "Therapists just prove you have something wrong with yourself and I don't want that. I don't like the feeling of people treating me differently just because I might get diagnosed of something," you wiped your tears.

"I wouldn't treat you differently. I would tell you if you looked bad while wearing an outfit. I would tell you if you have bad music taste. I would tell you if you suck at something," he put his one hand on your thigh.

"Thanks," you smiled as you reach for his hand and held it.