Moka Pot

Upcoming trip

[Suzue's Pov]

Do you ever wonder how fast time flies? It almost feels like yesterday when our first semester was held and now it's January of the next year, almost time for our final semester of freshman year.

It feels like just yesterday I arrived at Tokyo putting my luggage in this empty white painted nonchalant flat getting prepared for a new phase of my life. But actually it has been over months since I came here.

And after I came to Tokyo it all went crossways. I originally came to Tokyo for a better opportunity for education as my dream has always been to become a well renowned lawyer. But who knew the second I land in Tokyo my life was gonna take a complete turn.

Instead of actual education, the thing that has occupied most of my time is nothing other than this stupid drama I've got myself into. The drama of 'love'.

After a month or so of going to uni, I got myself entangled in this cliché romantic mess and now I'm having love crisis instead of studying crisis. The thing causing me stress is not how hard my education is but rather how hard it is to cope up with this mess.

The second I stepped foot into that cafe, is when it all went along a different direction, punching me in the face as if reminding me that everything's not as easy as I think it is. Thats reality can be harsh sometimes and not so smooth like that of a movie.

You move to a new place, move to a different country, change your posture and appearance, meet new people and what not in order to have a fresh start and might end up thinking "this is it". This is how my life's going to be, all fresh and new, rainbows and cupcakes and strawberries and cigaretters.

But no. Not just moving to a different place can keep you away from all the stress and anxiety of life. Or maybe even your love life. Maybe moving to a new place may double the anxiety of it, you never know. And for my case, it doubled the anxiety.

It feels like my life has actually turned into a movie. This happy-go-lucky, simple, your everyday girl comes to Tokyo and thats where her actual life journey begins. She steps foot into a cafe and voila her life becomes a roller coaster of emotions and decisions to be made.

Does that legitimate not sound like something out of a rom com movie? I feel like thats what my life has become.

An underrated overdramatic rom com.

Instead of focusing on class, actually studying for my upcoming finals of freshman years, I'm here porcastinating and overthinking. How much different life would've been if I hadn't step foot into that cafe. Or how life would've turned out to be if I hadn't rejected him that day.

What not. Not a single 'what if' or 'what would've happened' has been missed by my mind in this battle between overthinking and not giving a single fuck. Trying my best to not overthink yet coming up with a right decision is testing out every ounce of patience and calmness in me.

And amidst all of this, what still boggles my mind is that how quickly nine months have passed since I came to Tokyo and what the hell of a roller coaster ride I went through in this short yet somewhat long time of me being here in Tokyo.

I mean you never know how things will turn out the next second in your life. But I really didn't think this is the shit show I'll have to face instead of normally going to college, maybe partying a little, getting drunk, hooking up and all that college jazz.

Fiddling with my pen, as I'm sitting here on my study table trying to process everything going on in my life, I try hard to actual put my mind into studying. But honestly thats an epic fail. Legs tapping rhythmically on the ground following the fiddling of the pen.