3 Paths to Love

Chapter 28

 Myungsuk set the boxed cake and iced coffee on the counter, smiling as the customer picked it up. "Have a good day," he said, cheerfully. He hummed to himself as he cleaned out the espresso machine, glancing up at the clock behind him.

Insoo should arrive any time now, just in time for his break. Myungsuk giggled and bounced on his toes. He couldn't wait.

Since their hidden makeout session, they haven't had a chance to kiss again. But now that Insoo's midterms are done, this was the small window they had to see each other before Insoo went into his rut.

The bell chimed and Myungsuk whipped around, beaming. "Hi, Insoo," he cooed, leaning over the counter.

"Hi," Insoo replied, his voice deflated. He stood at the counter with his hands in his pockets and his dark circles worse than they have ever been.

"You haven't slept well" Myungsuk pointed out, frowning. He pulled away and started up the espresso machine.

Insoo rubbed the back of his neck. "It's been a rough two weeks."

"It didn't sound like a rough two weeks," Myungsuk said. Insoo and he spoke every night as usual. It couldn't have been that bad if Insoo made time for him. "You just need some coffee and cake. Taeyong made a new cake. Orange and chocolate. You should try it."

"Uh-" Insoo trailed off and nodded. "Thanks," he said and waited as Myungsuk finished making his mocha. Insoo rested his back against the counter, his eyes fixed on one of the paintings on the wall.

Myungsuk wasn't sure how to describe his expression, except far away. No smile, just dazed. Under the smell of coffee, Myungsuk could smell that his scent was neutral, but it still felt wrong. The tips of his fingers ached for him to reach out, but he curled them up around his sleeves instead.

"Um, Insoo–" Myungsuk held the tray, shuffling his feet. All the customers were upstairs, but Myungsuk didn't want to risk being seen. "Do you want to eat inside?"

"Hm?" Insoo turned around and thought for a moment. "Sure," he sighed and followed Myungsuk around the counter and into the backroom.

He set the tray on the small round table and pulled out a chair beside Insoo. Myungsuk sipped his pink milk tea while Insoo stirred his mocha with his straw, the ice clinking against the glass. Myungsuk frowned. Insoo would have slurped down half of it by now.

"Try the cake," Myungsuk suggested, holding the fork out to him. "It's really good and sweet. I told Taeyong to add more sugar because I know you like sweet things."

"Thanks." Insoo took the fork and sliced off a piece of cake. As he took the bite, Myungsuk wiggled his toes, waiting for his eyes to light up and gush over the sweetness.

But instead, Insoo's eyes glossed over. "It's good," he mumbled as he chewed.

Gulping, Myungsuk sat back, tugging on his sleeves. This wasn't like Insoo. This wasn't right. If it wasn't for his scent, he'd be sure this was an impersonator.

Myungsuk twisted his sleeve around his fingers. It'd be easier for Myungsuk to guess the exact location of the space station than what was going through Insoo's mind. But he tried anyway. "What's your favourite part of the cake?"

Insoo shrugged and took another bite. "I dunno."

Myungsuk's chest ached. His Insoo was sad and he didn't know why or how to fix it. Whenever Daehyun was upset, Taeyong would kiss him until he opened up. Myungsuk hummed. It always worked.

Leaning over, Myungsuk placed his hands on Insoo's knees and kissed his cheek. Insoo didn't say anything, and he took it as a sign to keep going. He pressed another kiss on the corner of his lips and smiled, his instincts purring.

He cupped Insoo's cheeks and pressed their lips together.

Insoo mumbled something and grabbed Myungsuk's arms, pushing him off. "Myungsuk, stop."

Myungsuk froze. What did he do? Was Insoo mad? Of course he was mad!

Biting his trembling bottom lip, he pushed Insoo's hands off him and fell back into his seat, hugging himself. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. That was stupid. I'm sorry," he rambled, twisting his sleeves. "I thought it would help. I'm sorry."

Insoo's expression dropped. "No. No, you didn't do anything," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to get angry," he said and let out a frustrated huff. "I'm just– not in the mood."

"Why?" Myungsuk grimaced. He hadn't meant to sound as accusatory as it came out.

Insoo tensed up and took a deep breath, looking anywhere but Myungsuk. "I did really bad on my exams."

"Oh." Myungsuk frowned. He gnawed his bottom lip. "Are you sure? Your marks haven't come out yet, right?"

"I just know," Insoo snapped. Myungsuk flinched and Insoo let out another frustrated sigh.

It was worse watching Insoo huff and puff with no outlet because of him. Myungsuk tugged his sleeves over his hands. "Are you angry at me?"

Insoo didn't answer right away. Instead, he prodded the cake. "I wasted too much time coming to the cafe," he confessed. "–and talking to you every night. I needed to use that time to study."

Myungsuk's heart sank. He thought they were having fun. Insoo would always sound happy when he called. Was that all fake? "I'm sorry for wasting your time," Myungsuk murmured, handing his head.

"No! It's not... I just." Insoo sighed and shook his head. "Exams are a tough time for me, with my dad and this and I–" he groaned and held his head in his hands. "It's more complicated than that. It takes me time to get back to...normal, I guess."

Myungsuk watched Insoo struggle to explain himself and frowned. "Please tell me properly what's wrong," Myungsuk pleaded, sitting up. "Please, I don't understand what you're trying to say." he bit his bottom lip. "Do you not hate me then?"

Insoo stared at him in shock. "I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I like you, Myungsuk. A lot." With a sigh, Insoo hung his head. "It's not about you. You're not a waste of time, I shouldn't have said that."

Myungsuk shifted in his seat, holding both his hands out. "Then can you tell me what's wrong?"

Insoo held his hands and paused, a pained expression on his face. "My dad's really strict," he started.

Myungsuk nodded. It was the first time Insoo brought up his dad. Or anything about his home life. He squeezed his hands encouragingly.

"I, um–" Insoo took a deep breath. "He's always told me what to do. How to act, how to dress, who to hang around, and yeah." He shrugged. "I thought he'd stop once I went to University, but I think he's gotten worse," he said and shrugged. "I try to be the best son, but it gets to me. And I'm so afraid of not being the best, that I just–"

"Feel helpless?"

Insoo nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

Insoo shrugged. "I didn't want to bother you."

"You didn't want to bother me..." Myungsuk repeated and shook his head, pouting. "But Insoo, I'm your boyfriend. And that means I'm someone you can trust."

"I know..."

Myungsuk sucked in his breath and sat up. "I'm not good at figuring out what's wrong," he said and reached over, placing his hand on Insoo's cheek."But now that you told me, can you tell me what would help? Do you want to go home?"

"That's the last place I want to go," Insoo chuckled weakly.

"Right," Myungsuk mumbled. He watched Insoo close his eyes, nuzzling his wrist. "Do you want hugs?" Myungsuk asked.

Insoo paused for a moment before tentatively nodding.

Myungsuk smiled and stood up. He wrapped his arms around Insoo's head, guiding him to his chest. Insoo hugged him back, his body relaxing as Myungsuk gently rubbed his head. Insoo had done so much to make sure Myungsuk felt safe, and Myungsuk had to do the same for him. He was going to try harder to be a better boyfriend. It was the least he could do.