miss lovato

worst day ever

Finding a job was not easy at all who wants to hire a hopeless teenage girl I really need this job.

So alexia drama still going around and I got dirty looks everyday.
Today at lunch I was so excited to have lunch with my bestfriend  I miss her so i can't wait she us going to spill some tea and my jaw dropped she is sitting next to alexia and her group .
She ignored my presence completely I felt like I was invisible or smt
So i grab my snacks and I head out to the bathroom so depressing right ? 
At least I am in peace here :(
As I took a bite of my sandwich i felt my eyes watery why my life has to be so difficult ?

After finishing my terrible meal ruined with my salty tears I got up to the sink washing my face and fixing my makeup I  headed to practice I saw miss lovato talking to another  teacher . I smiled a bit. her presence lightened my mood a lit a bit .

After practice I got to my locker . Something weird is happening do I have something on my forehead ?
what is happening ? Everybody is looking at me a whispering about smt
I felt intimidated  I got so angry
- what are yall looking at what is it-
I snitched some girl iphone and I looked at a video posted on Facebook called
"THE TRUTH ABOUT anna briar "
" even her parents hate her they disowned her " " she harassed alexia one time in the bathroom "
" I was her bestfriend that girl need help she is a pscho"
I just sat there frozen . I can't do it I jus- can't
i took my backpack and I  ran ignoring everyone I dont know where I am going crying and sobbing
This is the worst day ever ...

Than i stoped at the park watching the video thousand times
Crying non stop
Seeing my bestfriend saying things about me about my DAD and my family and my mental health
I felt broken I hit my hand as I hard as I could I can't control myself right now...
I was alone and I fucked my hand really badly sitting here  crying like a fool .

Am I dreaming ? Is this one of those dreams . Horrible dreams they seem like they last forever .
I there is a god or wherever ? Something  somewhere why have I been abondant by everyone and everything I ever known I ever loved what is the lesson ? What is the point ? God give me a sign or I have to give up I cant do this anymore
Please just let me die being alive hurts too bad
I felt my phone buzzing I got 10 calls from miss lovato honestly I don't want to talk.
I know exactly  what I need . I entered the bar thanks to my fake ID
I took a lot of shots and I am  about to pass out right now
I managed to get up and walk my self out or otherwise I am going to die here .
And the next thing everything went black.