Raising Cordelia

Chapter 3

TW - Anorexia, Self Harm, Smoking, Cussing.

-CORDELIA-

I watched as Hailey and the rest of the unit ran out the door and sped away in their jeeps and trucks. I looked out the window for a minute before turning to face Trudy.

"Morning kid. Did you eat?" She asked me.

"Y-yes ma'am." I said back continuing to stand a little away from her desk.

"It's okay, I don't bite." She said waving me over.

I giggled a little before going behind her desk. I stood and looked around at all the pictures and things she had lined up. It was cool to see each persons different items, they were so unique yet somehow all intertwined with each other. 

"You know Hailey once sat behind this desk as a little girl just like you." Trudy said to me.

"Really?" I asked watching as she nodded.

"Yep, a man broke into her fathers store one night after they closed and beat her dad. We arrived on scene and I brought her back with me until we caught the guy." She told me.

"Wow that seems scary." I said.

"It was, but it's part of the reason she became a cop." Trudy said smiling at me.

I smiled back and looked down at my hands playing with my fingers.

"Here, have a seat." She said pulling a chair out. 

I sat and looked around watching as everyone did their own thing sometimes crossing paths with each other. 

After a while I got bored and decided I wanted to go walk around.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I said to Trudy slipping out from behind the desk.

"Okay I'll be here." She said and just as I started to walk away her phone started ringing. 

Perfect I thought as I walked towards the back of the building and went out the door. 

I started running just because it felt nice to be outside and free for a while. 

I ended up where I would buy weed sometimes and my dealer happened to be there.

"Long time no see Delia." He said to me.

"Haha hey." I said back.

"Heard about your parents. Tough shit dude." He said putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks." I said kicking the dirt under my feet. 

He was already smoking a blunt and I didn't have money to buy anything at the moment.

"Mind if I hit it a few times? I don't have anything to get my usual." I said.

"Here take the rest, you've earned it." He said chuckling. 

"Thanks" I said taking it from him.

I took a long hit and instantly felt the high wash over me. 

"Good stuff huh?" He said laughing at me.

"Hell yeah." I said back to him.

I was nearly done with the blunt when I saw Jay and Hailey drive by followed by Adam and Kim. 

"Shit!" I yelled. "Here I gotta go." I said handing it back to him quickly.

"What? Why?" He asked. 

Just then Jay and Hailey pulled back around in front of us and Hailey didn't look happy.

"That's why! Damn it run!" I yelled to him and we took off down the alleys.

"Air tight?" He yelled at me as we neared the spot we always split at when running from the cops or whatever the trouble was that time.

"Air tight." I yelled back as we split up. It was what we always said meaning we would never snitch on each other.

"Cordelia!" I heard behind me as I went to try and climb a fence.

I didn't make it far before I felt arms around my waist pulling me down.

"Let me go! Get off of me!" I yelled trying to break away from her grip.

"Knock it off!" Hailey yelled holding me tighter. I stopped fighting against her knowing there was no use.

"Are you kidding me?!" She yelled when I turned around making me flinch.

Her glare softened slightly when she saw how I flinched but she still looked mad.

"Let's go." She said sternly holding onto my arm as we walked.

Jay was standing next to the truck with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't say anything but he didn't look thrilled either.

"Get in." Hailey said opening the back door.

"No shit sherlock." I said pulling my arm away from her and getting in. She slammed the door behind me.

Once we started driving I leaned my head against the window and cried silently.

When we pulled back up at the district Hailey waited for me and held onto my arm again as we walked.

"Tell Trudy you're sorry then we're going upstairs." She said through gritted teeth.

Trudy looked just as mad.

"Sorry." I mumbled before turning and walking to the stairs.

Once we reached the bullpen I went over to the kitchen area to get some water and noticed a blade laying off to the side.

I made sure no one was looking and slipped it in my pocket before walking towards the bathroom.

"And just where are you going?" Hailey asked and I looked up to see everyone watching me.

"Bathroom." I said walking past her.

Once I was inside I pushed my sleeves up and began frantically slicing my arms.

Why do I have to be so stupid? I asked myself and started crying. I slid down the wall holding my head in my hands. They're only trying to help and I'm ruining it. I ruin everything. I thought and sliced a few more times.

I guess I had been in here a while because there was a knock at the door. 

"Cordelia? Are you okay? I'm sorry for yelling." It was Hailey.

"Y-yeah. Sorry umm one sec." I yelled back getting up and frantically cleaning my arms and the mess I had made. I flushed the toilet so she wouldn't be suspicious, wiped my tears and stashed the blade before walking out. 

"Hey." Hailey said smiling softly when I walked out.

"Hi." I said looking down at my feet.

"I really am sorry I yelled." She said to me.

"I'm sorry too." I said playing with my fingers,

"Come here." She said pulling me into a hug. 

I held onto her tightly for a minute before pulling away.

"You can sit at my desk with me while we work if you want." She said leading me back towards the other officers.