Raising Cordelia

Chapter 6

TW - Anorexia, Self Harm, Anxiety, Depression. 

-Hailey-

I finally get to take Cordelia home in about an hour. 

"Natalie's just getting the discharge papers ready for me to sign then we can head home." I say as I walk back into Delia's room. She was sitting in one of the chairs putting her shoes back on.

"Here let me help." I say kneeling down in front of her to tie her shoe. 

"I can do it!" She says pulling her foot away from me.

"I'm not a baby." She says.

"Okay. I know. I'm sorry. This is all new to me, I just want to do the right thing and I don't know what's too much or not enough. I just want to make sure I'm there for you, and obviously I've done a crappy job in that area." I said sighing. I'm just rambling at this point. 

"No, Hailey. I'm sorry, it's not like I've made things any easier on you." She said with a chuckle. "I'm just so used to having to handle things on my own and hide everything that it's like an instinct now. I really do want your help. I think sometimes I just don't know how to let someone help." 

"Well, I guess we'll just have to figure this out together." I said smiling at her.

"I'd like that." She says smiling back.

"Done." I say as I finish tying her shoe.

"What?" She says confused.

I pat her shoe and stand up ruffling her hair as I do.

"Oh. Thanks." She says with a little giggle.

Just then there was a knock at the door and Natalie came in with some papers.

"Okay Hailey, here are her discharge papers. I just need you to sign all these and then we can get you out of here." She says.

"Thanks." I say taking them from her. There's so many, I've filled out discharge papers for myself before, but never for a kid let alone my kid.

"Everything okay?" Natalie asks after watching me stare at the papers for a minute. 

"Oh uh yeah. I just, what do I, I'm a little lost." I said feeling embarrassed. 

"Oh no worries! Just sign on these lines, and then Cordelia will probably have to help you fill in the information on these pages, and then you both sign this one." Natalie says with a smile. "You've got this Hailey." She says before walking out.

"Okay let's see." I said as we started signing.

When we got home Cordelia went to take a shower and I read through some of the paper work that went over how much she was supposed to eat at each meal, lists of therapists, techniques to try at home for when things got too much. 

I'm worried about her being alone at night like before, because that seems to be when she would hurt herself. It has to be, I was with her any other time. For now I'm planning on having her in my room at night, I also need to find her blades. I have to keep her safe. I have to do better.

"Hey." I hear Cordelia say as she comes into the living room.

"Feel better?" I ask her.

"Much better." She says.

"So I was reading through all the paperwork, and I think we can totally do this. It starts all the food and stuff off pretty small." I say as I bite my lip. I'm scared to upset her.

"O-okay. I'll try." Cordelia says and I can't help but smile. 

"Anything sound good? We can order take out and watch a movie." I say hoping she'll want to.

"Ummm, maybe a salad?" She says hesitantly.

"Salads it is!" I say grabbing my phone to order us dinner.

I find her a salad that meets the calorie requirement while Delia picks out a movie.

To be honest I picked a salad bigger than she had to eat so I wouldn't have to make her eat the whole thing. I thought it might help a little by still giving her some control over when she could stop eating.

Cordelia had decided on watching Mission Impossible Fallout, and actually did pretty well with eating her salad. 

When she said she was full I let her stop and we finished watching the movie. 

About halfway through Cordelia leaned over and cuddled into my side. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, and I'm not surprised. She hardly slept last night, she jumped at every noise. 

I ran my hand through her hair, she was totally crashed.

"Don't worry. We've got this." I whispered.

I watched the movie for a little bit longer before falling asleep myself. 

I really hope I'm doing the right thing for her.