Raising Cordelia

Chapter 4

TW - Anorexia, Depression, Self Harm, Suicide, Drugs, Abuse.

-Hailey-

"It's been almost a week now, how are things going?" Jay asks as we walk upstairs with Cordelia a few steps ahead.

"Better than they could be I guess. I can barely get her to eat. She'll have a couple bites and then it turns into a screaming match. Plus she makes these comments, I don't know that she means anything by them, but it's little ones here and there about killing herself or hurting herself. I don't want to make it into something if it's not, she's already been through so much." I say and realize I'm rambling and look over to see a very confused Jay.

"Listen Hailes, trust your gut. It's never steered us wrong in the past, and you know I trust you with my life. I'm sure whatever call you make will be the right one." He says putting his hand on my shoulder as we walk into the bullpen. 

I nod and give him a small smile before looking over at Cordelia who's sitting with Kim at her desk.

We had caught a case everyday since she had come to stay with me and I partly felt bad for having to leave her so much, but I know now that she and Trudy are on good terms again she's being taken care of. It's getting to be lunch time and somehow we haven't caught a case. (Knock on wood).

"Hey Kim, wanna go have lunch with Delia and I?" I ask as we all grab our jackets.

"Yeah! I'd love to!" She says putting her arm around Cordelia as we walk downstairs. 

She seems to really like Kim I thought maybe her being there would make lunch a little easier.

We decided on a little diner not too far from the district incase we had to leave quickly.

Kim and I ordered burgers and Delia just ordered a side of fries. I felt myself frown upon hearing her order but I didn't want to start with her in the middle of a restaurant. 

Once our food came we all made small talk, dancing around heavy topics that weighed on our minds as we watched Cordelia, knowing her past and seeing how much she was struggling. I felt like I was in no way qualified to take care of her. I only want the best for her but I'm not even sure what that is, or how to make that happen.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear Cordelia saying my name quietly next to me.

"H-Hailey." She squeaks out.

"Yes, sweetheart? What is it?" I ask and my face instantly drops when I turn and see how pale she is.

"Cordelia?" I ask turning all the way to face her now catching Kim's attention.

"I-I uhh I don't feel goo-" She starts to say but before she can finish her eyes roll back and she goes limp as she falls out of the chair.

"Delia!" I yell jumping to catch her so she didn't hit her head.

Luckily the diner was relatively empty so there wasn't a giant crowd watching this all happen.

I catch her just before she hits the ground and pull her into my lap.

"Oh my god!" I hear Kim say as she gets up and moves to our side of the table.

"Delia, sweetie. Wake up. Come on." I say as I play with her hair.

"Kim why isn't she waking up!" I yell now panicking.

"Hailey, look at me. We need to get her to Med. Here I'll help you get up with her. Everything's gonna be fine." Kim says as she scoops her up allowing me to stand up before I take her back and run to the car.

Kim grabbed the jackets and left some money before running out behind us and starting the car.

She turned on the lights and drove as fast as she could.

I barely waited for her to stop before I got out and carried her in.

"Help! Please!" I yelled and Dr. Manning came running over. 

"Hailey what's going on?!" She yelled as some other people came over with a gurney. 

"Cordelia, she, I, we were eating and well she really doesn't eat much and she told me she didn't feel good and she passed out!" I yelled quickly as Dr. Manning took her from me and laid her down.

Dr. Halstead was there by this point taking vitals as they wheeled her away.

"Hailey, I need you to breathe please." Natalie said putting her hands on my shoulders.

"I know it's scary, Will has her. You know she'll be okay with him. I need you to tell me what's going on." She said calmly I assume trying to calm me down as well.

"We umm, we did a drug bust about a week ago, she was in the house. Her parents were abusive, we took her from the home she's been staying with me. She barely eats, I get a few bites in her and it turns into a screaming match. The first day she was with me I walked in on her cutting herself. God I'm a terrible parent." I said as I sat down in one of the chairs next to me and held my head in my hands.

"Not from what I've just seen." I hear Natalie say and I look up at her.

"What?" I say confused.

"You clearly love her very much. You're doing a great job, these things take time. It won't all be perfect over night. There will be set backs, but you're doing a great job. You got her here quickly. She was breathing, she had a pulse, it hadn't even been three minutes. She's in good hands, based on what you've told me I'll also have Dr. Charles go up and see her once they get her stabilized and Will says it's okay. She's gonna be okay." Natalie says and I take a deep breath finally letting myself believe what she's saying.

Just then Kim comes in to find us.

"Hailey, how is she?" Kim asks.

"She's with Will, they took her back when we got here." I say to her.

"I'll go see if I can get an update. I'll be back to get you in a minute." Natalie says before walking off.

"I called Hank and let him know we'd be here for a bit, he said they'll all come down in a few." Kim says to me.

"Thanks Kim. What would I do without you?" I say and give her a hug.

"Well you would probably still be at that diner panicking, if we're being honest." She says giggling and I giggle as well.

"Hailey?" I hear Natalie say after a few minutes.

"Yeah." I say standing up to look at her.

"She's awake. She's stable, we have Dr. Charles in there with her right now. We did a routine work up already, once Dr. Charles is done we'll know more and be able to do a more thorough exam. As of now she meets all the criteria for Anorexia, and has pretty severe Depression, but Dr. Charles can tell us more about that. She's going to be just fine. I'll come get you as soon as you can see her okay?" She says.

"Okay, thanks Natalie." I say and sit back down. 

Just then the rest of the team comes rushing in and Jay comes over to hug me.