The Stella I Remember

13| After All This Time

"Stop!"

I froze when I got to my truck. Why did I keep doing that? Every time she asked me to wait or stop, I did.

I turned around to see her running up to me in her robe and slippers. I kept my gaze averted, looking everywhere except at her. Looking at this couldn't-be-Stella was really messing me up.

"What do you mean you knew a Stella? And why did you think she was me?"

"I don't think she's you," I answered immediately.

"Then why won't you look at me?"

I can't look at you because I'm terrified that you are Stella. My Stella, I thought to myself. 

 "Can I just leave? I really need to leave. I can't—I need to leave."

Once again, I turned away from her and pulled on the door handle. I almost made it into the car before I heard her voice—again. That fucking voice. 

"Do I know you? Do we know each other?"

"You can't be her," I whispered more to myself than her. "There's no way. Her hair is black and yours—"

"My natural color is black," she said quietly with wide eyes. "I dyed it."

That made me look at her again. And when we finally locked gazes, something in her expression changed. Her brows drew together and the blue in her eyes darkened a little.

"How do I know you?" She put her hands to her temples as if they hurt. "I—I feel like I know you. Why do I feel like I know you?"

I shifted my weight on my feet. "Beats me," I muttered. "You didn't seem to recognize me when we were inside."

"I wasn't looking at you like I am now," she said tersely.

"Well now that you're looking at me, how can you not recognize me?" I scoffed and started pacing back and forth. "You know what? Forget recognizing me. If you really are my Stella, then how about explaining the last twenty goddamn years! How could you do that to me?"

"Oh god," she breathed. "I am that Stella, aren't I? I'm..." Her eyes started to water and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Can we, uh, can you come inside, please? I need to tell you something. I have...questions."

"You don't think that I have questions, Stella? You have no idea what this has been like for me!" I put my hand to my head. "I started thinking I was going crazy. Everyone told me I made you up for fuck's sake. And I was starting to believe them!" 

A choked sob drew my attention and I looked at her. Again. When a tear fell down her cheek, I cursed under my breath. I was so pissed and hurt about what she did to me—but I still couldn't stand to see her cry.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I shouldn't have yelled like that. This is all just...It's a lot."

She held out her hand. "Please come inside so we can talk."

I stared at her hand. I wanted to take it so badly. But touching her...I couldn't do that. Not yet. I was still confused as fuck.

"Yeah," I answered and slipped my hands into my pockets. "Let's go inside and talk."

I could tell she was just as scared and confused as I was when she lowered her hand. I had no idea why, though. She was the one who didn't show up at that airport. Not me.

I followed Stella back into the cabin with Luna trailing behind me on the leash. Once we were inside, I let Luna have free reign of the house.

"Do you want to sit down?" Stella asked.