The Stella I Remember

40| Walking Under Water

"Can you please explain this to me again, doc? And explain to me like I'm in fucking kindergarten."

Abby's doctor, who I didn't recall the name of, stood in front of me with a tablet in her hands. She typed something into it before setting it on the small table at the foot of the hospital bed. I was really starting to hate hospitals. The last time I was here was when...Yeah. And even though I wasn't there for it, Stella spent a lot of time in a hospital. My parents...Now Abby and the baby. 

I was fucking over it. No more hospitals. Ever. 

"Abby is suffering from preeclampsia. And right now, she is in danger of the placenta tearing from the uterus. If that happens, there can be heavy bleeding. So heavy that we may not be able to stop it. It will be dangerous for both mother and baby."

"Dangerous for mother and baby," I repeated slowly like I didn't understand. I glanced over at Abby. She was staring at Marcus who was sitting beside her bed, holding her hand while he whispered something to her. "What can you do to make sure she lives, doc? I mean...what is the safest way to proceed?" 

"We need to deliver the baby via C-section immediately."

I nodded absently. This whole thing felt surreal. It kind of felt like I was walking under water. It was hard to breath. It was hard to hear clearly. I was trying and trying to find the surface of the water, but it seemed impossible. Stella squeezed my hand comfortingly and I felt a little more grounded. Just a little.  

Thank god she was here. I needed to be Marcus' strength through this whole thing, but I needed Stella to be mine to do it.

"When will this happen?" I asked.

The doctor looked at Abby and Marcus. "They're prepping the OR now. We're going to take her back within the next half hour." 

"Half...hour?" 

That was so soon. Too soon. Even though I wanted them to act fast and save my best friend's wife, that was just...too soon. Suddenly everything else in the world just disappeared. Everything. I thought back to when I was lying in a hospital bed, and Marcus was sitting beside it just like he was now with Abby. 

"You gotta fight," he rasped from beside my bed. "You hear me you fucking asshole? We've been friends way too long to let it end like this."

I turned my head towards Marcus. "She isn't real...is she?" I knew how my voice sounded, but I didn't care. I didn't have the strength to care.

Marcus shook his head. "Don't think like that. You know she's real. You had her journal. I've seen the damn thing myself. She's real, Elliot."

"Then—" I sucked in a sharp breath. "Then why—why can't I..."

"I don't know, man," he whispered. "But I promise you, if you start fighting for yourself, and get your ass our of this godforsaken bed, I will help you find out what the fuck is going on. We will find her, Elliot. I promise." 

I looked back at the doc. "Okay. Half hour." 

Once she left the room, Stella and I walked to the other side of Abby's bed. Even though she was just as scared, perhaps more so, she smiled up at us. 

"Elliot. Stella. I'm so glad you guys are here." 

I reached out and clasped her hand in mine. "You're going to be okay, Abby. You and that amazing baby." I wrapped my other arm around Stella and pulled her close. "We're both going to be here to help you guys. Whatever you need." 

"Thank you, Elliot," she said softly before her eyes drifted to Stella. "I'm so glad he has you, Stella. He deserves someone like you."

I hated her tone. It was that if-something-happens-to-me-then-just-remember tones. I fucking hated it. And I could tell by Marcus' red-rimmed eyes that he did too. Fuck. My best friend was barely hanging on. I've never seen him so scared in my life.