The Stella I Remember

44| Let Go

I've only rented a storage unit once in my life, and that was when my parents died. The process of finding a place, going there, and actually renting the damn thing was brutal. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But it was something I had to do after they passed. So I did it. Then I went back to my place, packed up a few boxes of their stuff, packed it away in my car and brought it here. I was supposed to go through and get rid of it eventually, but I've never been able to. I haven't even gone back since then. So I still paid the two hundred dollars per month to keep their stuff in the climate controlled space. 

So when Marcus mentioned he was having trouble finding a place, I didn't hesitate offering mine to share. It was the least I could do. He's done more for me than I could...Fuck. It was the least I could do.

Marcus was surprised by my offer at first. After all, I never told him that I saved a lot of their belongings and opened a storage unit. It was mostly sentimental things that I had trouble parting with. Jewelry. Books. Pictures. Things like that. I don't even know why I rented such a big storage unit when I donated their furniture.

Oh well. At least it came in handy now with storing Marcus' stuff. Well, most of it was Abby's things. Most of his stuff was already at my house in the guest bedroom. His bedroom.

Acclimating has been rough over the past few weeks, but we were slowly getting there. We finally had all of the boxes Marcus brought in the storage unit and a few pieces of furniture. Now all I wanted to do was go home and kiss my beautiful girlfriend.

She happily volunteered to watch Poppy while I helped Marcus today. It took a little longer than I anticipated and I started getting anxious to get home. Marcus noticed and told me to go on ahead and he wouldn't be far behind me.

It was twenty minutes later when I turned into my driveway.

The house was quiet when I stepped inside. A little too quiet. It was obvious that Poppy was probably sleeping. 

But where was Stella? 

As that thought crossed my mind, I was a little surprised that I didn't have that usual feeling of fear run through me. Then again, things were different now. Stella and I were together. Together together. We were finally the couple that we were supposed to be after that weekend in New Orleans. 

Actually...no. One thing I've learned since reconnecting with Stella, was that I needed to let go of the past. I needed to let go of all that pain that I carried regarding the loss of Stella. I needed to let go of the guilt regarding the death of my parents. 

I just needed to let go. Of all of it. I needed to let go and move forward. 

Christ, I wanted to move forward. 

For so many years I was alive but I wasn't living. Not really. Now I wanted to live more than anything—and not just for Stella. I wanted to live for myself. For Marcus. For Poppy. 

For my family. 

Even though my parents were gone, I still had people who loved me. People who were there for me in the darkest, and best, points of my life. I couldn't imagine experiencing anything to come without them. 

Speaking of the most important people in my life, when I didn't find Stella in the kitchen or on the porch, I went to our bedroom—and paused at the sight before me. 

My eyes first went to Poppy. She was sleeping soundly in her bassinet. Then my gaze moved to Stella. She was laying on top of the blankets, her head to the side with her left arm stretched out. Her right arm was on her stomach with a light blue journal in her hand.