Chapter 5
(Em’s POV)
As the darkness receded and feeling returned I felt a pain akin to that of a rubber band around my neck. Every breath I took caused my entire head immense pain and a headache was not a strong enough term for what was occurring inside my skull. An arm lay around my torso and frightened I screamed out into the darkness. The body that lay beside me instantly sprung up and the bedside table lamp came on.
My heart skipped a beat as a wave of shock ran through me. It wasn’t Pierce beside me, somehow Adonis had wound up in his place. A rush of footsteps came in our direction and the door was thrown open with more force than necessary as my father’s fighters charged in. Looking between Anis and the four other men my confusion was clear.
“Everything’s alright, Love. You’ve had a bit of trouble with Pierce but you’re safe now.” He slowly approached the bed nodding for the guards to leave us. “You have to rest, everything will be explained in the morning.”
I hadn’t the energy to argue and quite frankly I found his presence comforting. Why he was here I didn’t know but truthfully I didn’t much care either. Lying beside him was something I had never imagined I’d be able to do so for now I refused to allow myself to question it. He placed himself gently down beside me once more and I curled up next to him seeking refuge in his arms. With my head on his chest and his arms wound around me I drifted back to sleep.
A scuffling in the hall later awoke me and I found I no longer had company in my bed. Curious I moved myself to the edge of the bed and stood. My balance was a bit shaky and my neck still ached incredibly but I felt wonderful otherwise. Moving myself out into the hallway I saw Anis creeping quietly toward the front door.
“So not even a goodbye, never mind an explanation, huh?” Startled he turned toward the sound of my voice.
“I’m sorry, Love, but I must get back to my wife. Your father asked me to stay the night and I did, but now I must get back to my family.” And here I’d thought he’d come of his own accord, stayed with me because he’d wanted to. My hurt must have been clearly displayed because he made to approach me. “I didn’t mean it like that…”
“I understand, I appreciate your help. Goodbye, Anis.” I walked back into my room and closed the door making sure to lock it. Sure enough he tried the knob but to no avail. “Goodbye, Adonis!”
Silence greeted my ears and then the sound of retreating footsteps. My body remained still behind the door until the slow creaking of the front door had ceased. He was gone, my beautiful god of a mate had just left without even trying to reason with me. Without even an attempt at an apology for his unnecessary bluntness and lack of concern for my feelings.
In that moment I knew there was no hope left. He had made his choice and as I had initially decided I again reinforced to myself that I would not interfere. Tears burst from my eyes as my body slid down to the floor in a heap. Sobs racked every inch of my being as I let myself feel the rejection. It was every wolf’s nightmare and now I understood why. I felt nothing but pain down through the depths of my core. A pain so severe my body was crumbling beneath its weight. He should never have been here! Again the work of my father, poorly thought out and not an inkling of concern as to what it would do to me.
What felt like hours passed before I heard footsteps approaching. With the door still locked I needn’t worry about any unwanted visitors. I heard silence outside and then a clearing of the throat I would recognize anywhere.
“You are the last person I want to see right now, Dad, so please, just leave me alone.”
“Emily I just came to tell you that Jasmine will be at our house. Whenever you’re ready to resume life as usual that’s where you can find her.”
“Thank you.” That was all that need be exchanged between us for the moment. It was not an uncommon thing for a wolf to need time to piece themselves back together after a rejection. It was an impossibility to ignore the things you felt thereafter and only time would ease the pain and allow me to function again. Or so I’d heard, I’d never seen first hand what the result was because it wasn’t meant to happen! Wolves were meant to accept their mates, not throw them aside for someone else!
What I needed now was what I liked to call a ‘Solo’. I would venture out into the woods for an undetermined period of time for some much needed personal reflection. It would hopefully bring me back to the place I needed to be in order to move on.
Dragging myself up from the floor with a slightly heightened sense of determination I took myself out my back door and onto the patio. All I saw in the distance was woods and that’s exactly where I needed to be right now. Shifting into my sandy-colored wolf I allowed her complete control and receded into the back of my mind. Handing over control let me relax, gave me time to think and made me simply an observer for the time being. I could take the reigns back whenever I saw fit and yet right now she would physically take care of us until I was ready.
She took off into the woods without hesitation, her direction appeared to be toward my safe haven. She knew what I needed better than I at this point, it was a loss we were both suffering. Where I needed to let myself feel it and regroup her manner of dealing with it was to let her beast come out. The poor soul that dare cross our path right now was in for a hell of a fight, regardless of their nature.
Reaching the edge of the water she slowly drank and once satisfied laid down. The soft rush of water always managed to soothe us both. My heart ached at just the though of Adonis. I wanted him, needed him, more than I’d ever needed anyone else. And yet he was at home with his wife and children, happy and content as I wallowed in my sorrows.
My wolf growled at the thought of him lying beside her every night instead of me. What was the point in having a mate if they could deny you? It was obvious why we’d missed each other, shouldn’t that make the situation all the more understandable? Did his wife not know what this would do to him? To me? Hadn’t she a mate of her own to go find? Whether I cared to admit it or not was irrelevant, he’d had my heart the moment our eyes first met. The attraction far beyond magnetic, it was indescribable. My pull to him was more intense than anything I’d ever felt.
There would be other me for me to choose from. Any would be happy to take his place in my life, most of the males would kill for the chance to become Alpha. I would have my pick of the litter this time and yet could I allow myself to do that to someone else? Could I allow myself to take someone else’s mate away knowing how it breaks you… I wanted one man and on man only.
No, his happiness is more important than my own. Just because my life had fallen apart didn’t mean his needed to. If I pursued him I would only be toying with innocent lives. His wife has stood beside him for the last twenty years, who was I to try and steal him away? They had history, they’d built a life for themselves that I’m sure took them down some rocky terrain. And more importantly they had made it through and created three children that would be devastated if I took their father away from them. They hadn’t done anything wrong.
Inside my mind I was screaming out in agony and my wolf painfully howled along with me. My insides were breaking apart and I could feel a surge of pure rage building. A strange scent wafted my way in the midst of my internal break down distracting me momentarily. It wasn’t revolting which meant it probably wasn’t a rogue or a wild wolf, but it definitely wasn’t someone from either of the packs here.
Taking a defensive stance I watched as my wolf waited patiently for the beast to show itself. Slowly a wolf emerged from the woods, its fur black as night while its eyes were a shade of brown that seemed familiar. As he came closer I was able to identify the scent as that of lightly spiced sandalwood.
He cautiously inched nearer which meant he recognized me as a superior. My wolf sat down, clearly feeling this stranger posed no immediate danger to us. She let out a low growl simply as a warning and the wolf laid himself down before us in submission. Walking behind a nearby tree I shifted, taking a t-shirt and shorts from the pack’s stash I quickly dressed and brought a spare set of shorts with me as I emerged and ordered him to shift.
He did so instantly, leaving nothing to my imagination. He was gorgeous, the body of a greek god with dark hair and those same beautiful brown eyes as… He dressed slowly and I couldn’t manage to pull my eyes away from him. He was definitely a sight for sore eyes.
“Your name…” I stated using the alpha tone that seemed to come all too naturally.
“Blaze, Blaze Smith.”
