Glimpses of Yesterday (Isla Contejo #2)

Chapter 12

NAIBABA ko ang kamay kong may hawak ng paintbrush nang hindi ko mahanap ang motivation sa pagpipinta today. Kanina pa ako rito sa harap ng canvas pero kahit isang guhit ay wala akong mailagay. I've been feeling unmotivated and sad. I thought that I could somehow ease it by pouring my time on painting, but it was no use.

Arsen and I seemed not okay since yesterday when our prof announced the scores of that certain homework. He wasn't answering my calls and texts. Hanggang ngayon na nakauwi na lang kami't lahat galing school ay para bang malamig pa rin siya sa akin. I couldn't help but to think that it really had something to do with the scores.

Was he upset that he didn't get the highest score? Well, couldn't he just be happy for me, though? Happy naman ako for him kasi for me, he was the best. Bago pa sabihing ako ang highest, siya na ang highest para sa akin. Kahit pagkatapos kong malaman na ako ang nakakuha ng highest score, siya pa rin ang the best for me.

Couldn't he just do the same? What was wrong with him? I'm his girlfriend.

Buti pa mga friends namin, nag-congrats sa akin. Siya, parang inis pa.

Bumuntonghininga ako dahil mukhang wala akong maipipinta ngayong araw kahit pilitin ko pa. Itinabi ko na lamang ang painting materials ko bago ko nalingunan ang cellphone ko sa ibabaw ng kama. I sighed once again and checked if Arsen already replied to my texts. My shoulders slumped when I saw nothing.

I pursed my lips and think for a while. He wasn't talking to me and I was getting a bit bothered already. I wanted us to talk. I wanted to ask kung ano ba talagang problema niya. Ayaw ko nang ganito kami. Hindi yata ako makakatulog.

Mariin akong pumikit at nagpakawala ng isang malalim na hininga bago ako tumayo. I've decided. I would go to his apartment. We needed to settle this as early as now. I didn't want our relationship to be destroyed like this.

Mabilis akong nagtungo sa apartment niya and I didn't need to knock anymore since I already had a duplicate key. Naabutan ko siya sa dining table na kumakain ng pancit canton. Tila siya nagulat sa biglaan kong pagsulpot dahil natigilan siya sa pagsubo ng kinakain niya.

I pursed my lips and looked at him straight. He sighed and looked down on his food.

"Can we talk?" I calmly asked.

Hindi pa rin siya tumitingin sa akin. Ilang sandali ay iniusog niya ang plato ng pancit canton sa direksyon kung saan ako nakatayo.

"Magmeryenda ka muna," mahinang saad niya.

My heart ached a little. It was obvious that he was a bit upset, but he still managed to offer me a food.

I took a heavy breath before I slowly walked towards the dining table. Sa kaliwang gilid ng kabisera siya nakaupo kaya sa mismong kabisera na ako umupo. Doon din kasi niya iniusog 'yong pancit canton. I looked down on it. It was still freshly cooked dahil may usok pang lumalabas. Wala pa rin sa kalahati ang nababawas dito.

My eyes went up to him and I caught him looking at me, but he was quick to look away. I frowned and pouted.

"Kumain ka na," may diin na ngayon ang kaniyang tono.

Mag pagtatampo ko siyang tiningnan bago ako nagbaba ng tingin sa pancit canton. Medyo nagugutom din naman ako kaya hindi na ako nag-inarte pa. I lifted his fork and rolled the thin noodles around it. Nang maisubo ko at nginunguya na, muli ko siyang tiningnan. Nakaiwas pa rin siya ng tingin.

I moved the plate towards him. He looked down on it. Bumuntonghininga siya at kumain ulit bago ito ipinasa muli sa akin. My eyes just remained on him.

"Bakit ka ba masungit? Since yesterday ka pa," sabi ko habang pinaiikot ang noodles sa tinidor.

I stared at him intently. His expression was serious and his eyes seemed hiding a lot of mystery from me -- which became very obvious since he couldn't look straight at me.

"I-Is this still about the scores?"

I actually didn't want to assume that it was because of that 'cause honestly, I found it petty. Kaso, okay naman kami bago in-announce 'yong scores. After that, he became grumpy and cold towards me, so I really thought that it was the reason.

"Arsen..." tawag ko nang hindi niya sinagot ang tanong ko.

Mahina siyang napapalatak at napahilot sa bridge ng kaniyang ilong. Malakas siyang napabuga ng hininga at sa pagkakataong ito ay napatingin na sa akin. He opened his mouth to say something.

"I just... I just can't understand. I've made that stupid homework for days and you made yours in just a day, and yet..." His jaw clenched a bit and averted his gaze once again.

My brows touched and I stared at him unbelievably. I couldn't help but to feel offended. It was like he was blaming me. Hindi naman ako ang nag-grade sa homework na 'yon. Bakit masyado siyang affected? Why couldn't he just accept it and move on?

"It's not my fault--"

"I'm not saying that it's your fault," he cut me off, his tone was annoyed.

Nagtagis ang bagang ko at tamad na napairap. "Well, you're making me feel that it's my fault. Hindi ko naman alam na ako ang makakakuha ng highest score. I was even thinking that it would be you. Pero may magagawa ba ako na you're the second to the highest and ako ang pinaka-highest? Why can't you just accept it and be somehow happy for me?"

Dumiin ang titig niya sa akin. Hindi naman ako nagpatinag. I really found our whole argument petty because it was just about the scores! It should not be an issue, but it seemed like it was a very big deal to him.

Was he really like this?

Ilang sandali pa siyang tumitig sa akin bago nag-iwas ng tingin at napailing-iling. "Maybe I just expected too much for myself."

Napaangat ako ng tingin sa kaniya nang tumayo siya at walang lingong pumasok sa kaniyang kuwarto. Naiwan ako ro'n na bumubuntonghininga at medyo nakakaramdam pa nga ng guilt. I didn't even know why the hell I was feeling guilty because clearly, I didn't do anything wrong to him.

I bit my lower lip to suppress my emotions. I shouldn't cry because of this very petty reason and argument! Maaayos pa naman namin 'to. Mag-uusap pa kami mamaya.

Nagpatuloy na lang ulit ako sa pagkain ng pancit canton at nagtira nang kaunti dahil baka kakainin niya pa ito later.

Pagkatapos kumain, nanatili muna ako sa living room nang ilang sandali. Matapos ng halos isang oras, nagdesisyon akong pumasok sa kuwarto niya. Maingat akong pumasok doon at naabutan siyang natutulog sa kama. I sighed and slowly crawled beside him.

I slowly placed myself beside him and hugged him carefully. I stared at his sleeping face for a while as I admired how beautiful of a man he was. He looked very peaceful. So soft and innocent. My baby. My Langga.

I controlled the growing emotions in my chest so hard. I didn't want to cry. This was just a phase and later on, we would be okay again. I just hugged him tight and closed my eyes for a sleep, as well.

Hindi pa ganoong kalalim ang tulog ko nang maramdaman ko ang pagpulupot ng braso niya sa baywang ko. Nanatili akong nakapikit. Humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin at tila sumiksik pa sa katawan ko. I then felt his soft lips against my cheek before I heard him saying something.

"Sorry. Mahal kita, Ga."

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