Glimpses of Yesterday (Isla Contejo #2)

Chapter 30

UMIWAS ako ng tingin nang lumipad ang mga mata ni Arsen papunta sa direksyon ko. Ipinagpatuloy ko ang pagtingin sa mga panibagong materyales kahit na halos makabisado ko na iyon. I just needed to pretend that I was busy.

I've been avoiding him for about two days already since that incident at the beach happened. I needed to distance myself from him because I was afraid that I might... finally give in.

And that's not right! For God's sake, I have a boyfriend! I never had any plans to cheat or something! If I would continue being around Arsen, I'll be doomed! Especially that I knew deep down myself -- no matter how much I tried to deny it -- that I still have feelings for him.

I thought I was completely over him, but seeing him here everyday... my feelings all came back. Or did it even disappear, though? Pakiramdam ko, hindi naman nawala ang pagmamahal ko sa kaniya, pero sa sobrang kagustuhan kong makalimutan siya, I just kept on denying that I still have feelings for him.

Iyong gabing 'yon sa beach ang nagpatunay na hindi kailanman nawala ang pagmamahal ko sa kaniya sa mga nagdaang taon. Siguro'y napagod at nagpahinga, ngunit nagpatuloy pa rin. Ngayong nagkita ulit kami ay mas lalo lang itong sumiklab at nagkaroon ng sigla.

If only he knew how much I wanted to continue that kiss. How much I wanted to let him kiss me that night.

Ngunit hindi dapat. It would feel so wrong. I should not be feeling this way anymore! This was wrong! I have Aquilus and he didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve me.

I needed to make things right.

Natigil lamang ako sa pagtingin ng mga materyales nang makita ko sa peripheral vision ko na umalis na si Arsen. I sighed and even spaced out for a couple of seconds. I suddenly thought about "us" in the past and then the "us" right now. I also thought of Aquilus.

Aqui...

I fished my phone from my pocket and typed a message for Aqui. I bit my lower lip as my fingers stopped typing. I was feeling a bit hesitant because I cared for him. One thing I was only sure of was that... I didn't want to commit a mistake.

Aqui never deserved to be betrayed.

Ako:
Aqui...

Wala pang isang minuto ay nakatanggap na agad ako ng reply.

Babe:
Yes, babe? Miss me?

I bit my lower lip more to suppress the pain growing in my chest. My heart was pounding and it felt like it was being squeezed. Ayaw kong gawin 'to kay Aqui, pero mas magiging unfair lang ako sa kaniya kapag pinatagal ko pa. Ayaw ko naman ng ganoon. Hindi niya deserve 'yon dahil sobrang buti niya sa akin.

Bumuga ako ng mabigat na hininga at nagtipa ng reply.

Ako:
We need to talk. Can you make it here tomorrow?

Babe:
Why? Is there a problem?

Ako:
We'll talk about it tomorrow. Busy ka ba diyan? You want me to come there na lang?

We were becoming busy in the construction, but I think I could make time naman for a while. I just really needed to talk to Aquilus. We needed this.

Babe:
Ako na lang ang pupunta diyan. Magpapaalam ako sa boss ko.

Ako:
Okay. See you tomorrow.

Babe:
Alright. I love you!

Namuo ang luha sa mga mata ko ngunit agad akong kumurap-kurap para hindi na matuloy iyon. Ibinalik ko na ang cellphone ko sa bulsa at nagpatuloy sa trabaho.