Disloyalty

Chapter 1: My heart

"What did you do?"

The four words that changed everything. As soon as I said them, I regretted them. The look in Adam's eyes showed me that I hurt him. More than his father did. I questioned not only his judgment but who he is at his core. I don't even know why I did. I trust Adam, I really do. The conversation in his Jeep made me think he was going to do something.. something Voight would do. I can see parts of Voight and Al in him but never has he crossed the line in the ways we all think they have.

I take another swig of beer and just stare out the window. I've never seemed Adam so hurt. Not even when I called off the engagement. On top of that, I had to explain to Makayla why Adam wasn't coming over tonight. How the hell do you explain that to her? Oh you know I just made the biggest mistake with the only man who has never doubted me or my instincts but now hates me. Honestly if it wasn't for Makayla I would be getting drunk at Molly's right now.

I don't bother with the TV. I shut my phone off as soon as I got home. I don't have the mental capacity for anything right now. Plus I don't want to be reminded that Adam won't be texting me goodnight or checking in on Makayla. I also don't need Kev calling me trying to figure out what's going on. Him and Adam aren't on the greatest terms right now either but Adam will need him. He'll explode if he doesn't talk to someone. I used to be that someone...

"Kimmie...Kimmie..."

"Hmmm?"

I feel something on my arm as I start to wake. I just want to sleep why is someone waking me up.

"Kimmieee get up!"

It finally clicked. Makayla!
I jolt awake to find her leaning against my arm, looking confused. I don't blame her, I'm asleep on the couch on my jeans. I guess I just fell right asleep last night. Last night...

"I'm hungry."
"Okay sweetie, what do you want?"

I shake my head, clearing the thoughts of last night from it. Makayla needs my full attention.

"Pancakes!"
"Coming right up! Do you want to help stir the batter?"

She quickly nods and runs to the kitchen.  I follow her and we start making pancakes. I love mornings with her, she always wants to help and she loves doing what I'm doing. I sit her in the counter and give her the whisk. She stirs away while I heat the pan up.

"I want to make a big one for when Adam comes!!"

I swallow my pride, "honey remember Adam isn't going to be around so much for a bit."
"He'll still come for breakfast,right?"
"I don't know honey. He's pretty mad at me. I'll try to talk to him and see if maybe once a week you and him can have breakfast together. Is that okay?"

She just nods her head and goes back to stirring. We finish making breakfast and we eat at the table. I send her to her room to start getting ready. We've been working on her picking her own outfits out. Give her some kind of control after everything that has happened. I do a quick shower and start to get dressed myself. I'm partially dressed when there's 3 loud bangs on my door. I instantly jump and reach for my gun. I hear Makayla running towards the door.

"No Makayla don't...!"

I don't get to her in time and she swings the door open. I have my gun and run to Makayla's back. As she opens the door, I let out a breath.

"Umm Burgess you wanna put a shirt on.." Kev says as he turns his head.
"Sorry yeah. I heard the bangs and Makayla running so I just took off." I say as I head into my room.

I find the first shirt I see and throw it on. I lock my gun back up and head to the living room where I hear voices.

"Kimmie! I thought you said Adam wasn't coming for breakfast." Makayla yells. As I turn the corner I see Adam on the ground with her and I freeze. He is the last person I expected to see. I just stare at him, neither of us saying a word.

"We caught a case. You weren't answering your phone. I got worried about you, especially with Makayla. So I told Adam I was going to check in on you."

"Oh yeah. Sorry I turned my phone off last night and fell asleep. I totally forgot about it this morning. Is Voight mad?"

"No you're good. We covered for you."

"Thank you. I'll drop Makayla off at Nicole's and then meet you at the district."

"I go with Adam!"

Makayla yells as she hears her name. She's sitting on his lap and it's the best sight in the world. I don't know what to say to her so I improvise.

"Well Kev drove so Adam doesn't have a car seat for you."

"So he can come with you!"

"You win! I'll ride with you!" Adam says, speaking for the first time since he got here.

He looks at me and just mouths for her. I'm pretty sure my heart broke all over again. By the look on Kevin's face he finally realized something is off. Adam must not have said anything, figures.

"Okay just give me 5 minutes."

I head into my room and finish getting ready and then grab Makayla's things. I take a few deep breaths. 20 mins. 20mins in a car with him. How is this going to go?