Distanced

Part 18: In Which Max Rises From The Ashes

Confidence huh?

I lack confidence?

Hahaha who would have thought.

Everyone.

Lately I had become depressed and the self esteem meter had went flat. With the worrying about Maxi and Helen- it just got even more overbearing and I could hardly process everything.

I have balls!

I have balls, Helen.

I'm not rolling over.

Now...now that she challenged me.

She gets her jacket on and tries to walk passed me, but I stand in front.

"Yes? Can I help you?" Looming down at her, I search her eyes and I unzip her jacket. "Max, I need to go see the baby."

"You need to eat." I quietly challenge. She raises an eyebrow and zips her jacket back up.

"So does my baby." She goes to pass again and I unzip her jacket one more time.

"You're eating...And the longer you take-the longer it will be before you get to go see your son." I raise my voice slightly and she smiles.

"Kiss me you idiot." She demands and I pull her to me and kiss her lips.

***

We had a quick bite to eat before we hustled for the hospital. We drove quietly, holding hands as I drove and she looked out the window as Christmas carols play.

As we got in and up to the NICU- I notice her nerves beginning to come back to her.

I squeeze her hand as we walk to see the nurse.

"Hi, we're here to visit my son- Maxim Sharpe." Helen says and the nurse smiles and leads us towards the dimly lit room. "How is he doing?"

"Perfect. Everyone just loves watching him kick and smile. He's such a happy little guy." Going into the room, they help us put on sanitary gowns and they spray us so no germs go into the actual containment room.  Heading in, I find a male nurse checking his vitals and he is just happily kicking.

"Hi, you must be Mom." The nurse says as he sets his clipboard down on the counter.

"Yes. Helen."

"Nice to meet you Helen- I'm Blake."

"How is everything?"

"BP is normal, heart and lungs sound good. Cognitive function seems good and motor function...well I mean- look at him." We laugh and he opens up the incubator for Helen to grab him.

"Yes, I know those little kicks very well. Haha hi, Maxie. Mummy's missed you." She so badly wants to give him a little kiss, but she knows she can't. Too many germs and his immune system isn't there yet.

"Well, we had fed him about two and half hours ago- so you're right on time if you wanna give it a go?" He says and Helen smiles widely.

"Of course." He nods and Helen sits in a rocking chair and the nurse leaves, closing the curtain behind him. "Okay, Maxie, you ready?"

I stand back near the entrance as she undoes her gown and realizes she's still in her jacket and stuff.

"Huh...Max- could you hold him for a bit so I can get this off?" Walking over, I carefully take him from her and hold him against my chest. He looks up at me just takes me in oddly.

"Hi, Pal. Maxie...whatcha doing?" His dark grayish black eyes look at me and his little lip quivers. "Oh no- do that. We're okay."

"What's wrong?" Helen nervous asks and comes over. "You had him for five seconds- how have you already upset him?!"