Someone You Love •OffGun

THIRTEEN

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️
This chapters contains child abuse and trauma.

Third

Off was right. He literally goes back to his old self. To his self who just lay down on his bed, stare at the ceiling, let the darkness covers his entire existence.

Off was listening to the rain and the thunder outside. It was raining so hard, the sky is dark as well as him. But the atmosphere makes him more emotional.

A tear slipped from his eyes and he didn't bother to wipe it away. He was too tired to do it. Every part of his body are too heavy to even move.

Off lets his window slightly open, making the wind come inside and the droplets of the rain. But Off didn't care as a lot of memories are coming back. Memories that was always coming back whenever it's raining. A memories he tried to forget and still trying up until now. But it didn't leave him.

It was when he's 6 or 7. He was crying, calling her mother. Begging him to open the closet. It was raining heavily, thunders scares him, and it was dark.

He is shaking in fear. Hands are covering both of his ears as he keeps on calling his mom but she didn't showed up.

He doesn't remember what he did or why did they put him inside of the dark closet at night. He doesn't remember at all but he knows it's not right.

His forearm is hurt by his mother's tight grip, her fingers are digging deep into his skin. But the physical pain was nothing compare to the pain inside his heart.

He was too young to even understand it. He was too innocent.

He didn't know what he did wrong but he can't do anything but to ask for forgiveness, thinking he did something wrong. He did something that might anger her mother.

That is one of the memories that keeps on hunting him.

That made him into who he is right now. The person who doesn't believe in his self. The person who thinks negatively. The person who sees himself as the most unwanted person, the person who never received love and don't deserve to be love by anyone.

He doesn't even know how he graduated. He left home when he was 17 with Tay. But Tay still keep in touch with his parents. Off started working for himself and he didn't know what is really happening to him. It was like his  body is moving by itself and he can just feel it when he's on his bed.

Off snap out from his thought when someone knocked on his door and opened it. Tay asked him to not lock the door. He turned on the light. It was now evening.

Tay is holding a glass of water and the bottle of medicine.

"You need to drink this to sleep, Off" he said as Off sat down.

Tay knows. Tay knows it was harder for Off to sleep whenever it's raining. Because a lot of painful memories are coming back, not letting himself sleep and sometimes gaves him anxiety and it makes him have a  panick attack sometimes. The rain often scare him, making him tremble in fear and just sit at the corner of his room, covering both of his ears.

Tay watches his bestfriend drunk his medicine. He was the one who holds his medicine. He was afraid Off would try to overdose himself again.

Off mumbles a little 'thank you' before giving the glass to Tay.

Tay smiled at him as he placed the glass of water on the bedside table.

"Want me to sleep here?" Tay asked. Worried his best friend might have a panick attack.

Off smiled at him and shook his head.

"Thank you. But you don't need to do it, Tay" Off said as he doesn't want to bother his friend anymore.

"But-"

"I already took the medicine, Tay. It will help me to calm and fall asleep." Off interrupted him and gave him a reassuring smile. Tay sigh.

"Are you sure?" He asked, still worried. Off nodded his head.

"I am. Plus, you need to wake up early for your work tomorrow. You don't have to worry about me" he answered.

Tay was kind of thankful that somehow he saw some changes in him. He's smiling more often now though worrying about him is still there. He's happy and wish he will continue to improve himself.

"Then, I will just leave the lights on" Tay said as Off nodded his head, watching his friend walked closer to the door. "Don't lock the door" Tay added before closing it. Leaving Off alone.

Off sigh as he layed back on his bed.

As he closed his eyes, the first thing that comes on his mind was Gun. His giggle, his cheeky smile and the way he's always energetic.

His mind and his heart are calming at the thought of him. It made him smile for some reason.

It's been 10 days. And both of them are contacting each other through text, call or line. It made him happy after all. It made him forget everything. It made him feel like he's a human. It keeps his mind busy. It shut those voices in his head.

He wanted to see him again. You know. He wanted to feel his small hand holding his bigger hand. He wanted to see him smile like it was saying he's here. He wanted to personally hear his giggle, his laugh like it was the most beautiful music he have heard.

He wanted the small guy to pull him away to his bed to do something. He wanted to be taken care of him.

For 30 years he's been alive. He really never know the feeling of being taken care of. No one took care for him because they love him. He always feel it was because they pity him.

And Gun, for some reason makes him feel a lot of things. The younger makes him feel excited for the next day but it makes him hate the night more. Because he will be left alone again. And that is the time where his mind will be loud.

Off forgot about the rain and thunder while thinking about Gun. Until he finally fell asleep.