Someone You Love •OffGun

SEVEN

Third

Off didn't sleep that night again. Everything came back. He hates it when he's alone and everything is coming back.

Off really don't know what to do. He's afraid to sleep. He always keep his eyes shut but he's not sleeping. Afraid of all the nightmare that is hunting him.

But it's okay. Everything is okay.

Isn't that what everyone says?

He sighed and close his eyes like he usually do. He tried to set aside all his thoughts but it didn't leave him even for a second. A lot of thoughts. A lot of what ifs. He sigh again and just let the time passed by.

••••••••••••••••••

Off heard the door opened and someone's footstep coming closer to him again the next morning.

Off opened his eyes when he smelled Gun's scent he didn't thought he would like.

He was greeted by Gun's cheeky smile again.

"Good morning, your breakfast is here!" Gun greeted and repeats what he did yesterday.

He helps Off to sat down and place the table on his bed. Off looked at the plate, it's a sausage and plain rice.

Even Off doesn't have the appetite to eat, he force himself to eat because he knows Gun will just make him eat it.

"You didn't sleep again?" Gun asked after he finished his food and Gun gave him the glass of water.

"I'm okay"

Off didn't know how many times he said that lie to everyone around him. But he can't do anything but to say it. He can't do anything but to lie because everyone says it's okay.

"I didn't ask if you're okay though" Gun said as he pout. Off looked at him.

"Isn't that what you'll asked after that question?" Off asked making Gun pout even more.

"I am not asking a question that has an obvious answer, Mr. Cool guy" Gun said. He removed the table. "Plus, I don't want to make you uncomfortable" he added.

"Why would I feel uncomfortable?" Off asked again, feeling his heart beating faster as Gun looked at him with full of sincerity in his eyes.

"Because I don't want you to lie to me" he said. That caught him off guard.

Silent. A moment of silent between them. Off can only hear his heart beating. It scares him. He knows. He's aware that he is starting to feel something he didn't feel before towards anyone. It scares him.

The word like or love always scare him. If you're going to ask Off what love is, he would answer you that Love is a thing that doesn't exist. He never believe in love. He thinks love really doesn't exist for him.

He can't remember when or if there is anyone who told him the word 'I love you'. He can't remember when was the last time he felt a hug that full of warm and love. An embrace that would make you feel that you are loved. Because all he can remember is a cold arms wrapping around his body.

He was 10 when he met Tay who became his best friend. A friend who stayed with him and a person who made him laugh. But Off still feel no love, his laugh still feel empty. He doesn't feel anything whenever his friend tell him it will be okay.

He was 16 when he got the first love letter with full of emotions yet Off can't feel the love. It feels like someone is just trying to find someone to fulfill their loneliness.

He doesn't know who to blame. Should he blame the world for being cold and harsh towards him that every love he saw and felt made it seems so cold?

Or is it just because he was meant to be alone in this world no matter how much love he recieve?

But he was fine.

If you are going to ask him? Of course he would say he was fine.

But he can't help but to hope that someone or everyone around him will see that he wasn't. Hope they would see that his words is nowhere from truth.

Just like love. A word that people usually say but doesn't mean. Do you?

Gun and Off looked at the door when someone opened it. It was his friends. They were confused to see Gun there. Gun smiled at them.

"Hi! You're probably P'Off's friends?" He said and showing his friendly smile. His friends smiled at him.

"Yes. I'm Arm" Arm introduced himself.

"I'm Gun. My room is just next door" Gun said.

"You are the one who entered with the doctor that night, aren't you?" Tay asked.

"I am. And you are?" Gun asked.

"Tay. His best friend" he said. Gun looked at Off before looking back at Tay before nodding his head.

"And you?" Gun asked and looked at Singto.

"I am Singto" he introduced himself.

"Wow. All of you are good looking. I'm jealous" Gun said smiling big. Off just watched him interact with his friends.

Off's friend laugh at his cuteness.

"Do you want some?" Arm offers him an apple. Gun smiled and nodded excitedly.

"I would never say no to a food" he said before taking it from Arm.

"How about you, Off? You want some? You need to eat" Tay asked him. Off just shook his head as a 'no'.

"He already ate his breakfast" Gun said as he took a bite to his apple. Off's friend looked at hi before they looked at each other.

Everyone knows how he always find a reason not to eat. They're confused, shocked and kind of happy to hear that Off was able to eat.

"Did he? How about the meds?" Singto asked and Gun shook his head.

"I don't know where did he hide his medicine" Gun said. Arm then nodded before walking next to Off's bed. He opened the mini drawer on the bedside table and take out the battle of the medicine.

Off sigh before he take the medicine. He really don't have a choice.

Off was drinking his water when they heard a knock on his door again. It was the same nurse that was looking for Gun yesterday.

She sigh in relief when she saw Gun sitting next to Off.

"I knew you were here" she said. Gun looked at him, confused.

"Hi, sorry to disturb you" She apologized to them before looking at Gun who was eating his apple innocently. "Gun, your parents are waiting for you in your room."

What she said makes the younger jumped in happiness.

"Really?" He asked. The nurse smiled and nodded. Off suddenly feel jealous for some reason. It must be nice having a parents that cares for you.

"Yes, and they are worried because you are not in your room again" She answered smiling like that always happens to Gun.

"Bye bye! I'll see you later" he excitedly bid his goodbye before leaving the room together with the nurse.

A/N: mistakes, failure, insecurities, it's all part of you. Embrace all that is you. You're beautiful the way you are.