As I brought Flora back to bed I thought about all the things Alya told me. Was she that insecure about herself? For the past years, I thought that she was an amazing mother and incredible with the kids. She never said anything about being afraid to not be a great mother. She always had panic attacks but I thought it was because of stress and to process her emotions. How could I help her with this?
The past years were difficult for everyone but we helped each other get through it. I remember how happy I was when she told me that she was pregnant.
*flashback*
"Hey... Peter... uhmmm" she said while she walked towards me slowly. "What's up, darling?" I asked tilting my head. "I have to tell you something" she whispered and sat down next to me. I looked at her worried and moved to the side so she could sit next to me. "You can tell me! What is it?" I said wrapping my arm around her shoulder and squeezing it slightly. "So I haven't been feeling well for the past days and..." she said and her voice broke. I pulled her closer to my chest and kissed her forehead. She cuddled into my chest not saying anything. She was shaking a little bit and I wondered if she was clod. "Here," I said and gave her my hoodie. She pulled it over her head and smiled at me softly. "I wasn't feeling well so I went to the doctor" she whispered. I sat up straight and looked at her. "What is it?" I asked with fear flowing over me. "I- I am pregnant," she said and didn't dare to look up at me. When she spoke out the words I relaxed and stared at her. "Wait really?" I asked shocked. She just nodded and I felt her sobbing into my chest. I didn't know what to say. I was happy and overwhelmed. "Hey..." I said and placed my hand under her chin, pulling her face up to mine. When she looked me in the eyes I saw that she was confused and didn't know what to do. "Didn't you want to have kids?" I asked carefully. "I never wanted kids, Peter but since I met you I was sure that I wanted to have a family with you, raise kids, and maybe have a dog or something. This is... This is all just going so fast!" She said and started to cry. Tears were rolling down her face and it hurt me to see her like this. "I will be here for you! I promise! Whatever you choose to do next... I'm with you" I said and kissed away some tears. "I know that you will be a great mom! You are the most caring person I have ever met. Every time you play with Morgan your eyes light up and you are happy!" I said as she cuddled back into my chest. "Do you mean that?" She whispered after a few minutes. "Of course I do!" I said and played with her hair. "Thank you, babe! I love you so much" she said and closed her eyes. "Anytime" I whispered but she didn't hear it anymore because she was already asleep.
I grabbed my phone and searched up Ned. Hesitating I texted him.
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I wasn't sure if Alya wanted to tell anyone but I needed to talk to someone and I trusted Ned more than anyone else. I looked at her and smiled. We are having a child.
