Dragon Wars: Flames Of Pain (Book 3)

Chapter 22 (Josephs POV) Trust Yourself

I looked down at the ground for a few moments, as I was thankful for the both of them, for stepping in and helping me too. They were trying to make me feel better, while at the same time trying to make me look a bit better to all of the people that were in the tent with me at the current moment.
I had gotten off to quite a bad start, and I knew it. The room was dead silent as well, as no one said a word. I was not ready to be the person to step up and begin to speak over the silence. I did not want this, and I so badly wished that I could give it to some one else, a person that thought that they wanted it as well.
I wanted them to see that this was not all fun and games. I felt like a lot of people did not even believe me when I said that I had dreams with dragons, and that I spoke to dragons. I felt like the people in here believed me, as they knew my uncle, and they had seen the man he was.
It was not the 15 to 20 people that were in this tent that I was worried about, so to say. I was more worried about the fact that, I was about to have to speak up to over a thousand people out side. I was never good with words, much less being good with a role such as a public speaker.
I shook my head though, as I knew that these were people that believed me, and that would not judge me. For some reason though, I had already put it in my brain, that I was going to be too scared to step up, and speak to all of them.
I just wish, that John would fill in this role. He knew what to do, and he was good at it. Some times, I even wondered if he liked all of the stress, and all of the pressure in moments like these. It was almost as if he was trying to prove a point to a whole lot of people.
I let out a bit of a soft sigh, so that no one in the tent could hear me do it, as I then lifted my head up to all of them. To no surprise either, I saw that all of them had their eyes locked on me. It made sense though, as this was a moment for me.
I needed to be the one that had to step up and speak. I was born with this, and I knew I had the power, no matter how many times I tried to tell my self other wise. I blinked a few times though, as I moved me head around the table, surveying every single one of them, as if they were the ones that were getting ready to speak.
I saw that a few of them noticed it as well, as a couple of them dipped their heads to the ground, as if they were the ones that should be nervous, or afraid right now. I shook off those thoughts, as I then turned my head over to the last person that I saw with all of the others at the table.
It was still a bit strange to see him at a table as important as this one, as I still to this day, saw him as the man that went to my bar, just to get drunk every night, and to come home to my mother and my sister, and treat them like absolute shit.
It was clear that it was not how the rest of them viewed him, and I had vivid memories of people telling me that he used to be a strong, and very smart man, which I still refused to believe, as no smart man would waste his life as a drunk, once he was to get a lot of money.
If I was in his shoes, I might have found out the real reason as to why the brother of my wife had mysteriously died whilst in the army. It was clear that my mother had been hiding some thing from us all along. I was not sure why she had never told us about all of it.
It was clear that she too knew all about it, as my father had told me, that she had said the name of the dragon that had in the end, killed her. She must have had the dreams such as I... Why did she not warn me about them? I had been told by John, that she knew that I was going to start having those dreams once I reached the age of 18.
Did she expect that I was going to go to her for answers, once I started to have those dreams? She should have known that the black dragons were planning this all along, surely right? I shook my head though, as we had been dead silent in the tent, for a couple of minutes now.
I knew that at some point I had to step up to all of these people, and speak to them. I would have plenty of time to think all of this through, later in the night. That was when I spent most of my time, just thinking. I was grateful for John and Travis, for giving me some time to think, and regain my thoughts before I eventually spoke up to all of the people in here, once again.
I stared at my father in particular, which no one seemed to notice either. I kind of felt a bit bad for him as well, as I had made a bit of a scene a few minutes ago as well. I saw him dip his head a bit low to the ground, which was not my intent to do so at all.
I needed him right now, as I was feeling a lot of stress, and anxiety right now, as I was not sure what to say, and I was also scared to talk to so many people. I had no clue how I was going to do this in front of the entire legion. I felt like I was going to throw up at any moment now.
I held my self in, as I then nodded to him, to at least try to make him feel a bit better. It seemed to work as well, as I saw him lift his head up, and nod back to me too. I almost wanted to let out a bit of a smile, but I held my self in from it once again.
I then turned my eyes to the middle of the table, as I knew, that I had plenty of time to think all of this through. I knew that I was about to have a lot worse coming, and these people were only here to help me through all of this. I blinked a few times, as I finally got that through my thick skull.
I then turned my head over to John, as I could see that he had his eyes on me. I could not tell if he was nervous for me, or nervous for him self, as I knew that he had told me that he was worried about how this would look to him, if I was to fail on all of this, miserably.
I knew that John liked to hold a high self image on him self, and there was no need for me to tarnish that from him either, as he had done nothing but help me over the past few years. I nodded to him as well, as he nodded back to me too.
I then turned my eyes back on the table, as I sighed once again, a bit louder than I had earlier, but not loud enough, even in a silent room such as this one, for any one to notice or hear it. I felt like a lot of that had to do with the back ground noise out side of the tent how ever.
I shook my head on those thoughts, as I knew that I had done enough thinking as it was so far. I knew that now was my time to shine, as I nodded to all of the people there, as I saw that a few of them nodded back to me as well, as I then finally began to speak up to all of them.
"I am sorry... I just, am not really used to all of this yet, so forgive me." I began to say to all of them, as I saw that a lot of them nodded, as many of them understood all of that, which I had to assume that many of the people in this room had to do such as this, at one point or another.
I blinked a few times, as I shook off all of those thoughts, as I tried to remember what it was that I had been planning on saying in the first place. For some reason though, my brain did not want to work with me at the current moment. I then gulped, as I forgot what I had to say.
There was dead silence in the room once again, as I had thought that I was ready now, but all of my nervous jitters seemed to come back on to me. I did my best not to dip my head down again, just like John had taught of me, as he had told me that it would be a very bad look for me.
I was not one to worry about my self image, but at the same time, I knew that I needed to be strong to every single person that was in this legion, no matter how much it scared me, or how much I did not want to do it. That was the difference between John and I, and that was the reason that I knew what had to be done.
I lifted my head up to all of them, once again, as I was about ready to start to talk to all of them again, but I then heard the voice of some one at the table begin to speak, before I had the chance to do so my self. I closed my mouth, as I then looked over at the person that was talking, as I listened to what it was that he had to say to me.
"Son... Your uncle was a lot worse than you were, the first time he had to step up and speak... You are doing fine, and John is by your side when you have to speak any ways." He began to say to me. I looked over at John at the same time too, as I squinted my eyes at him, at the same time too.
John had not told me that he was going to help me, while I was talking to all of the people. If he had told me that, than perhaps I would not be as freaked out as I was right now. I was not sure if he had done that, as he wanted to test me, or if he had done that because he had thought that it would make me feel better.
Either way, he was wrong, and it kind of irked me, as to the fact that he had not told me some thing as simple as that. I stared at him for a bit longer, as I saw that he just kept a blank look on his face all the while I was doing it. I rolled my eyes, as I then looked away from him at the same time as well.
I knew that he had seen me staring at him, though he was trying to act like he had not, I had gotten to know this man a lot lately, and it was not the first time that he had done some thing like that. I shook my head though, as I then looked back over at the table, trying not too worry too much about him.
I looked back at the man that had just spoken to me, as I was a bit surprised that he had remembered a thing such as that. My uncle would have had to have been in his late 40s at this point in his life, which was a solid few years older than my father was, and I had been told by John, that most of the people in this legion died at a young age.
You got paid a lot of money though, as I had been told, and it was a lot of the reason that many people did it, so that their family would be a whole lot better off. I shook my head, as I focused in on the man that had spoken to me, as I saw that he was probably in his 50s, based on the fact that he had lots of wrinkles around his eyes, and his hair was gray for the most part.
I nodded to the man that had just spoken to me though, as I was quite a bit grateful for what it was that he had just done for me. He had for sure taken off a lot of stress. I saw him nod back to me as well, as I now felt a whole lot safer to talk, than I had just a few seconds before now.
I blinked a couple of times, as I noticed that once again, there was a whole lot of people that were staring at me right now. This time how ever, I did not let it bother me, just as it had not too long ago. I stared for a few more seconds, as I then began to speak up to every single person in the room, once again.
"Thank you... That makes me feel a whole lot better... I have never had to do some thing like this before, much less in front of this many people... What is your name sir?" I said to him. He looked at me for a few moments, as I saw that for some reason, he had a bit of a grin cracked on his face.
I tilted my head, as I was a bit confused as to what he had meant by it, and why he had done so in the first place. I shook my head though, as I knew at the same time, that there was nothing to really be all that suspicious about, at the current moment. These were humans that were speaking to me, and not dragons.
Besides, when I spoke to even red dragons, they seemed to be quite a bit cool for the most part. It was the black dragons that were a bit strange, as they were the ones that scared me the most, as it seemed like when I heard them even speak to one another, it sounded like they were lying, or had a different meaning to what they had said.
I knew that there was a difference between humans, and those dragons, much less these humans that I was in the room with right now. I sat there for a few moments, as I felt a sudden burst of warmth, begin to flood in to the room that I was in, as I began to feel a lot more safe than I had before.
The older man nodded to me, as he still had that smile on his face, which I wish that I could just wipe off. The man seemed to be a cool man, and a good person, but it was just the fact that it kind of scared me, to see that he had a happy look on his face, in a moment that there was no reason to be happy at all.
I stared at him for quite a bit longer, as he stared right back at me. I did not seem any form of evil in his eyes, or his soul. I sighed a bit to myself in relief, which I was a bit worried once again, hat the people in the room with me, had noticed me do so. I shook my head though, as I knew that I should not be worried right now.
It was clear that no one in the tent, felt low of me, or seemed to blame me for the way that I was acting right now. It was a relief for sure, as I took my gaze back on to the man that I had just spoken to, as well, as I heard him finally decide that he was going to speak back to me.
"My name is Timothy, and yes, though he did not nearly have as many people there to hear him speak, you will do fine, I am sure of it." He said to me. I looked at him for a few moments, as I then nodded to him. I was not sure if he had said that to make me feel better, or to let me know that there was going to be a lot of people listening.
I did not try to get too worried about it, or too caught up on it, as I was grateful for the man any ways. I saw him keep a bit of a smile on his face for a bit more time, as for some reason or another, I decided that I was going to do the same as him.
I decided that I was going to keep that smile on my face through the rest of this as well. Though I was not happy at all at the current moment, I knew that John had told me that I needed to look happy and strong, when I was around people, that way they felt the same type of energy that I did, as I was the leader to them, and I had to always be on my A game.
I did not look over at John at all, this time to see what his response would be to what I was doing. I would have to say that he would be proud of me, if that was a thing for him at least. I blinked a few times, to get those thoughts out of my head, as I knew I had to have my mind on all that was going on at the current moment.
I shook my head, more to my self, as I stared back at the table for just a couple of moments, trying to remember all that had happened to far, while I had been in the room with the rest of the people that were in here. I blinked a few times, as it hit me as to what the older man, that went by the name of Timothy, had just now said to me.
He had told me that my uncle had been worse, and that he had been a lot more scared than I was right now. I was not sure if it were true though, as there was a lot of people that had very high regards of me uncle. I felt like he might have just been saying it to try to make me feel better.
I had heard of the powers that my uncle had, but I also had been told by John, that he did not just learn those powers in simply 1 day. I shivered a little bit, as I shook off all of those thoughts, and I kept that smile on my face, to lighten up the rest of the room that I was in.
It seemed to do a fairly good job, to me at least, as I did not feel as stressed out now that I had a smile on my face. I kept it on there for just a little while longer, as I once again nodded to all of the people that were at the table, and then I began to speak to them.
"Thank you for that... I just am not used to all of this, so forgive me." I said to them, as I saw a couple of nods from a few of the people at the table. I stopped speaking for a second or so, but then I continued where I had left off, as I knew that I should not be hesitating at the moment. "So... John told me that you guys were here to help me, so that I knew what to do, and what to say."
I looked at all of the people that were in the room at the moment, as I had to add in the fact that John had told me that was what it was, so that I did not look like a fool if things went bad. To no surprise to me though, as John was not one to lie, I did not see any shocked looks on the faces that were in the room.
I saw a few people nod, as they looked at one another, as if they were not sure what to do, or what it was that they should say to me. It kind of got me a bit nervous as well, as John had made it seem like these people knew what they were doing, as it was clear that he had high regards for them.
I saw a lot of people in the room, looking at one another, as they began to speak amongst themselves. I turned my head over to John, as I was a bit lost, as I was not sure if what I had done, had been the right move. As I looked over to John, I saw him nod to me.
I had to assume that I was going fine so far, as John was not usually one to have a different meaning to very much that he did. He was very much a straight forward man. I manage to crack a bit of a smile, as I saw that he looked a fair bit happy with all that had happened so far.
I felt quite a bit relieved as well, as I turned my head back over to the people that were at the table, as I saw that most of them were still talking to one another. The main person that I did not see talking all that much, was my father, who I saw had his head a bit low, as he spoke to no one.
I was a bit confused, as I had walked in to the tent, seeing him talk to a lady a bit younger than him, and he had a bit of a smile on his face while he had done so, which was very rare to see from him. Now, as soon as it came to the important stuff, he did not seem to want to converse with a single person at the table.
I felt like, John might have just added him to the group of his, for one, because he trusted him, as I had to get that out of the way first, but also due to the fact that he had seen that I was not close with my father at all, and it was clear that we had our fair share of differences.
He might have done that, to try to get us a little bit closer to one another. I was not sure to be upset, or to just be annoyed by it. I would never get close to my father, no matter how hard he tried. I could never forgive him, for what it was that he had done to me in the past.
I felt like he would be the exact same as he had been before, if none of this had happened. Even if he had told me that he was trying to quit all of it, when he had gone out in the woods to talk to my mother. I felt like he might be using that as an excuse to try to get me to forgive him for what he had done.
I shook my head though, as I looked away from my father at the same time too, as I did not want to get too distracted in those type of thoughts, as I knew that I was here for a much different reason. I heard the voices of the people that were in the tent with me, but I also heard the loud voices of people talking out side.
I looked back at the table, as I did my best to try not to get too worried about the fact that I was going to have to step up and speak to all of them, just a few moments from now. I just had to focus on what it was that the people in here told me to do, and what I needed to tell the people out of the tent.
I noticed that not hardly any of the people at the table were talking to one another any longer, as it seemed as if they had come to a bit of an unspoken agreement, that they were done with all that it was that they had to say to each other.
Most of them had their eyes on me, which I was a bit confused as to why as well, I had already asked them to help me, and they had not said a single word to me yet, as if they expected me to know what it was that I should say already.
I blinked a few times, as I was a bit lost at the moment, until I heard the voice of the lady that my father had been talking to earlier, as she began to speak up to me. I looked over at her, quite a bit thankful that some one had finally decided to speak up, as I listened to what it was that she had to say to me as well.
"Well... There is not much that we can help you with right now... I think you mis took what John had said to you... He meant that the group will help you with future discussions..." The lady said to me. I looked at her for a few moments, as I was a bit confused as to what it was that she had meant.
I turned to John a bit confused as well, though I once again saw a blank look on the face of his, which did not tell me all that much. For one, I felt like I had not mis taken what he had said, but also I was a bit confused as to why she was basically telling me that they could not help me.
I had not a single clue as to what it was that I should say to all of the people that were out side of the tent right now. I knew that I had to make it clear as well, as it seemed like a lot of people were agreeing with what it was that she had said to just now.
I looked at all of them, as I stared at them for a little while longer, and then I blinked. The blink seemed to get me on the right train of thought as well, as I knew that I had to let them know that I had not a clue what they meant by the fact that they could not help me.
"What do you mean? How am I supposed to tell them how to fight? How am I supposed to tell them what we are going to do, and what our plans our?" I asked each person that was at the table at the current moment. I saw a lot of confused looks on a lot of the faces that were at the table as well.
I was just as confused as they were, on the fact that they were confused, as I felt like I had made it quite a bit clear as to what it was that I had just said to them. No one said a word to me at all, as they went back to what it was that they had done a few moments ago, as they began to speak to one another.
I was a bit confused, as to the fact that they could be so dumb, and how they did not get what it was that I had said to them. I blinked a few times though, as it seemed like their conversations ended just as they had started, as I saw that this time, Zoe in particular decided that she was going to be the one to step up and speak to me.
"No... That is for future meetings... All you have to do is tell the people who you are, and what you can do..."